You know, when I was younger, I had so many New Year’s resolutions. It could range from wanting to shed a few pounds just to feel more beautiful.
Then, somewhere along the way, I realized that life had nothing to do with the things that I can affect. Life is made up of things that I cannot affect.
This year, I wish for things that money cannot buy.
First of all, I want to feel inner peace.
I want to feel good about myself. I want to be a woman who can accept a compliment without blushing, because I deserve it.
I want to proudly walk down the street and know that I haven’t hurt anyone. I want to feel that I am worthy.
I want to feel that I am enough. And no matter how long it takes for this to happen, I will be patient because it is important to me.
Second, I want to feel the love so deep that the ocean would be jealous of it.
I want to be loved and respected because I deserve it.
Whenever I love, I give myself up. This time, I want others to show me how much they love and appreciate me because I will no longer be exposed.
This year, I am my own priority.
Third, I want to feel happiness in my heart.
For some reason, there is not much happiness in my life.
I told myself that I may not have enough time for my private life and that is why I did not feel this happiness. But when I think about it twice, I don’t think that’s the problem.
The problem is much deeper in me. The problem may be all these calls that I never received when I deserved them.
The problem could be all these messages that I have not been sent while I have never forgotten them.
The problem may be with all the kisses and hugs I have never had.
And finally, the problem could also come from all these warm words that I never had the opportunity to hear. But, I have to leave it all in the past, because it only belongs to the past.
I want to get rid of all these people who pretended to be my friends and who betrayed me from the first obstacles on the road.
This year, I want to dedicate myself more to myself and find this happiness in my heart and soul that is fighting so hard to get out of it.
So this year, my only resolution, will be all of those things that I crave.
I’m thirsty for love, peace, hope, care, happiness, harmony, and all those positive feelings that I needed so much.
Whatever happens, I will try to offer my heart and soul everything they need.
Because just as our bodies need food to be healthy, our souls and hearts need spiritual food to be alive.
And believe it or not, I desire inner peace more than love itself.
You are probably wondering why, are you not?
Because, to be able to be good to someone else, I must first be good to myself.
And I can’t do it if I’m not at peace with myself.
Once I decide to give it all to someone new, I want to be in tune with myself. I want to be the woman who accepts all her faults and all her advantages.
I want to know that I am not perfect, but that I am doing my best to be. I want to know that I have done everything in my power to be satisfied in my own skin.
And above all, I want to be a woman who has value. I want to be happy every day that I have accomplished something good for myself.
I mean, I’m doing much better than I think, and no matter how much some people want to see me at the bottom of the well, I will never allow it.
Because I am a fighter and the whole universe helps those who fight.
And in the end, when I have this peace inside me, I will not selfishly keep it for myself alone.
I want to share it with my family and friends. I want to help everyone feel this blessing, and I want us to enjoy it forever.
So, 2020, here I am, even more beautiful, more stubborn, more obstinate than ever in accomplishing her goals, and much more intelligent.
I hope you are ready for me, because I have so much rage I am ready!