When a person experiences a toxic or violent relationship, the first question we ask is why they don’t just go away.
After all, who, sane, would consciously choose to stay in an unhealthy relationship that continues to break his heart and destroy his life?
Well, the fact is, things are not as simple as they seem at first because toxic people have a way of turning their victims into an endless circle of emotional abuse and toxicity.
They use different manipulation strategies to leave you wanting more and here are the most common.
He is inconsistent
The main reason why you always go back to a toxic type is its inconsistency.
You see, this kind of person rarely shows their true colors from the start.
Instead, they claim to be something they are not until you fall in love with them.
And the same goes for this particular guy.
There are days when he is the best man in the world.
Days when he keeps reminding you of what butterflies are and when you feel like the happiest woman in the world just by having her by your side.
However, there are also times when it turns into a monster and times when you can’t recognize it.
And unfortunately, the situations in which its toxicity manifests occur more and more often.
So it always lets you come back for more simply because you hope to find the man from the beginning of the story.
You continue to lie to yourself that his evil side is only a phase and you continue to expect the nice boy to reappear.
He convinces you that you are not enough
Another strategy that men use to make their victims want more is to tell them that they are not enough.
This guy has managed to convince you that you have no value and that nothing you do is right.
So subconsciously, you keep going back to him and trying to prove to him that he is wrong.
You want him to see your true worth and stop seeing you as good for nothing.
Without knowing it, you are in fact in constant search for its approval, which you will never get.
You want him to realize that you are enough because you think it is the only way for you to regain your sense of self worth.
He makes you believe that you are not a person to love
A toxic man will not only convince you that you are not enough, but will also make you believe that you are not a person to be loved.
He will convince you that he is the only man who could be with you and that all the others would only use your body and throw you after they are done with you.
After a while, you end up being grateful that he agreed to be with you.
You think you’re lucky to have it, despite all the mistreatment it inflicts on you.
Besides, you don’t even think about replacing him with someone else because you believe that no other man could love you.
Even when you try to find someone else, you doubt their intentions and you constantly hear the voice of the other in your head, telling you that you will end up ridiculing yourself and having a broken heart.
And that’s exactly what he wants: to keep you by his side and keep you coming back to him.
He isolates you from the rest of the world
All toxic men have one thing in common: they do their best to isolate their victims from their loved ones.
All of a sudden, your friends are not good for you and even your family members don’t want you any good.
At first you think this guy is trying to protect you from the evil people in your life, without being aware that he is the villain in the story.
You do not notice that he is doing all of this to keep you away from anyone who could open your eyes and tell you the truth about him.
In addition, by making you cut ties with everyone around you, it also makes it more difficult to leave him.
That way, even when you think about moving away, you remember that you have nowhere to go.
You lost all the people you could count on, those who could help you get back on your feet and those who could help you turn a new page.
So you stay where you are, without the slightest chance of making a difference.
He made you dependent on him
One of the most important things for toxic people is to make their victims dependent on them.
It doesn’t matter whether you are financially or emotionally addicted, the goal is the same; it’s a toxic man’s way of caging you.
He’s the one who knows what’s best for you.
He is the one to listen to and even when he insults you, he does it for your own good.
After he devalues you, you think he’s much better than you.
You believe him when he says that you are incapable of accomplishing anything without him and that you could not live without his help.
So even when you try to get away from this relationship, you keep going back to it because you are afraid of not getting there without it.
It becomes your comfort zone and you are too afraid to leave it.