The biggest problem when one is in a toxic relationship is that one does not necessarily realize that it is one.
We get used to the abuse because it is slowly becoming a part of our lives.
There can be good times (when your abuser is in the mood) that make you forget the bad ones that came before and will happen again.
Toxic relationships are addictive. You think that in these kinds of relationships, it’s up to you to create your own happiness.
You think that nothing is falling from the sky and that you have a duty to make your relationship work.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to make things work but keep in mind that you have to fight for someone worth it.
Violent people do not deserve to be fought for them.
Toxic relationships focus on fear. Many women continue to think that being in a toxic relationship is always better than being alone. They do not have the courage to free themselves from their attacker.
But some of them end up finding the courage to break the chains that tie them to their abusive relationship, simply to stumble over another obstacle.
They meet someone and everything that is supposed to be normal in a relationship pushes them out of their comfort zone. They are used to being mistreated.
Here are some of the things that can happen when we meet a good man after being with someone who made us feel less than nothing:
1. You will have space and support you need to learn to love yourself
The first thing to do is to learn to love yourself. You have to trust yourself because no one else knows what is right for you.
Only you know and can control this part of your life.
Being with a good man will bring you the conditions necessary to become that adult woman who loves herself and who you must become.
Once this is done, you will be ready to take the next step.
2. You will experience “strange” and unknown feelings
You have suffered enough and now that you have met a good man, you must grab the bull by the horns and let go.
Rather than being afraid of these new feelings, embrace this positive and healthy relationship.
All of them are supposed to be like this and that is something that you are not ready to hear yet.
Do not be afraid to let go because this man will understand that you have just returned from hell.
3. You’d expect to relive the same story
You no longer have faith in the human race. After being treated as a mother, you will be afraid of being treated again as well.
When you start a new relationship, you cannot get rid of the feeling that it will be the same as your previous partner.
You cannot imagine that there is someone here for you who will treat you well.
You have been content with a man who did not deserve you and now that you have lived a relationship of a completely different nature (the love you deserve), you can no longer understand what may have forced you to stay in a toxic relationship.
4. You will over-analyze everything
He treats you the way you deserve but something bothers you. You cannot accept the fact that he treats you like this because he cares about you.
You over-analyze things, looking for ulterior motives. However, there is none.
You will probably keep your distance and look at things from another angle just to reassure yourself and tell you that it does not harm you.
After which, I hope you realize that he has no ulterior motives and that his love for you is as lasting as it is pure.
5. You will think it is too good to be true
You will have a hard time getting rid of this feeling that at any time, things can go wrong in your relationship.
You expect it to change. Perhaps he will get rid of this “nice” mask to reveal his true face to you.
But he will stay the same – understanding, patient, and ready to love you. There is absolutely no reason not to trust him, but your wounds are not yet healed. It will take you time and he is aware of it.
6. You are waiting for the next storm
In toxic relationships, conflicts arise from anywhere. Even now, you are unable to calm down because you feel that the fight is about to start.
Struggles and violence were part of your daily life and you are so used to it that you expect it to happen.
You cannot understand that it is not like that. It is different and it bothers you because you are used to a scenario that is totally different.
7. You will often apologize
Due to the constant conflicts within your previous relationship, you used to apologize to others constantly.
You used to apologize to your partner just to calm him down and avoid arguments.
You apologize for the things you did but also for the things you did not do.
8. You will learn to trust him
Over time, you will get used to the right treatments – the ones you deserve – and you will start to trust your partner completely. You will realize that he has no desire to harm you and never will.
Slowly, you will start to let him see your vulnerability because you will finally be sure that he will never hurt you.
You will learn what true love is. Once you trust others again, you will find that your toxic experience has made you stronger.
You will finally see what it is to love someone who loves you in return; someone who deserves and respects you.
Do not abandon !