SOME PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BREAK YOU, SO YOU CAN GET STRONGER

I remember sitting in a bath full of water thinking about you, us, and the fact that it had been four weeks since we last said goodbye.

Or rather what I thought was the last time we were together.

Shortly after, I learned what it meant to say goodbye for the last time: that cold sweat on my back, a knot in my stomach and the blank stare on the bathroom ceiling.

I was living my own counter-utopian nightmare. Nothing made any more sense.

I was a stranger to myself. The war that I had declared had burned me from head to toe.

All I had left were big brick walls. Empty and impossible to invade.

Unfortunately, it was not a nightmare just because of the pain of separation – no.

I could only pray for a sweet pain like that.

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