In love and not happy

“Where in love is the border between skepticism of necessary preservation and abandonment to a sweet naive romanticism?” “

Yesterday I drowned.

I drowned in eyes, eyes of a blue so deep that I forgot myself, that I was caught.
Yesterday I got lost. I got lost in the warmth of a voice, a deep, tender voice that made me vibrate, that made me tremble.

Yesterday I fell.

I fell in love with a shadow.

I fell in love with this soul which grazed me and which I could not grasp.

Yesterday, I was jostled….

Without expecting it, without preparation, without announcement, without noise.

I was jostled by this man who changed everything.

“ Some fall in love, it’s pure, it uplifts them. Me, I fell in love, As one falls from a chair “sang Bénébar. I fall in love as we fall into a chasm.

Because my crushes are inaccessible…

Because after having wallowed so many times my heart no longer has the strength to take such risks again.

Because I now resolve to silence when I meet this man.

Because it is less painful to dream in secret and give up than to believe and try.

“But there are so many others to console you, let’s see” Of course. But none takes courage by the hand to grab mine.

Yesterday, I fell in love.

He did not realize it.

Did he have a look for me? I doubt.

Did I only exist for him for a moment? Surely not.

What to do then? Forget, hope, take the lead, wait, dream, imagine, provoke?

Yesterday, I brushed against this soul.

Tonight she is still dancing in my dreams.

This ghost never leaves me, its presence stubbornly persists. Like a perfume that you put on, the smell is sometimes subtle, sometimes heavy.

I would have to see him again. I know it.

This prospect is as pleasant as it is distressing.

I find myself already choosing my outfit, perfecting the next sentence I would say to her, considering a look, a sketch. To dream of a defiant and heard catchphrase.

Yesterday, I brushed against this soul.

Tonight she is still dancing in my dreams.

What will the sun rise tomorrow? Yet another sharp blow to the heart or a beautiful unexpected and unexpected love story?

Yesterday I drowned. I drowned in his eyes. His eyes almost as clear as the blue azulejos on the streets of Lisbon.