In life I promised, I offered, I sacrificed, I suffered, I cried, I turned pages, restarted, forgot but the hardest part is that I rarely could love up to all that my heart was ready to give.
I was a Celibattante lost in the fog, too whole and too authentic, trapped in my hypersensitivity and my blue flower side.
I did not know how to protect myself, and like my celibate colleagues I was often manhandled, my heart crumbled by ruptures, failures, and defeats.
I convinced myself not to believe it anymore, but deep inside I was fighting secretly. I had erected barriers higher than ever to save myself from the pains of love, but I still had the strength to bring them down.
And then one night I wrote to the man of my 2nd life, to tell him that I was waiting for him…
All it took was a photo, a look, and I hung it. I restrained myself at the barriers, forbidding myself to go there, but the machine was launched, there was nothing I could do about it.
I dismantled the barriers, I climbed what was left of it, and I launched myself with all the stress that characterizes me when I have to decide, all this anxiety of falling again and having to repair myself again.
And that’s where the first day of the rest of my life started. I had found my double, my other, my half, my essential, my evidence.
He was there in front of me, reflecting my own reflection in the mirror, filled with emotions and fears similar to mine.
He was ready to open his heart which I had, despite myself, touched deeply. He was not afraid to love or express his feelings.
He reached out to me, took me against him, and brought me back into his life.
I, who thought I could never trust again, never dare to let go and never love again, he swept away all these certainties.
He turned the light back on wherever the others had turned it off, put the pieces of my trampled heart back on. He took me as I am with my doubts, my complexes, my anxieties and my awkwardness.
He loved my body with delicacy without trying to change it.
He let me discover it, open his eyes to his value and restore his confidence.
Her beauty is exceptional in my eyes, her kindness is incomparable, her presence essential…
Each time I meet his gaze I fall a little more in love with him.
Each morning is an enchantment because it is one more day by his side, time to discover and get to know each other, love to share.
Sometimes I am afraid because the hardships of life have taught me that nothing is ever acquired, and that everything can change in no time.
I don’t want to have it because to own is to start losing. The anguish runs through me like a shiver, but I fight, I fight against old demons and he feels it, he reassures me, I listen to him tell me that he too is afraid, but that it will be our strength, our cement.
If there is only one promise to be made, it is to seduce yourself every day, to keep the flame alive and never take yourself for granted.
If there is a world where to take refuge, listen to yourself, protect yourself, we have the only key to it.
If it is a timeless time, surely we alone can hide there to live our history away from amazed, astonished looks.
If there is a life to live fully until the last breath, it now belongs to us, etched in eternity.
Today we share a limitless passion, without taboo, without restraint.
He is everything I expected …
I admire his strength, his tenderness, his empathy, his delicacy, his way of telling me I love you over the days.
He upsets me, he amazes me and I love him with all my being, with all my soul.
I cherish this day when he entered my life and if I could relive it, I would find it earlier to love it longer.
To my friends, my celibate sisters, never give up hope, your soul mate is there somewhere, you will end up finding yourself some time as long as you have to wait.
The key? Expect nothing but the unexpected, have the strength to turn the page, and the patience to wait for what you deserve.
To you my love, my everything, my half-me, my evidence, my essential, take this love as a gift, a gift, take my hand, arm ourselves with courage in the face of difficulties, grant us the confidence that we have deserved, let’s move forward together on the path of our new life, let’s build a future filled with beautiful things and love each other without ever ceasing to show it.