Celibacy is the symbol of independence and total control over your life, but it is also the symbol of relaxation.
We’re not going to lie to each other, when you’re celib, you do a lot of things that you wouldn’t even dare to admit to your mother.
You manage your life. No Stress No Soucy.
But admit that it’s a little bit Baghdad at home anyway.
You and bunch of celibate cops you could make a guide like “Live my life as a Celib who does not care” so it’s folklore.
- You wear white XL panties that have turned gray to be comfortable… Bridget and Hugh have nothing to envy you
- You skip the unstacking of quiche. After all, no one is going and the half-legs / armpit package is much more economical.
- You sleep with pajamas with holes as gray as your panties and completely stretched out (or with Johanna’s onesie in Helene and the boys!).
- You drink Royco soups for dinner with a bunch of tagada strawberries for dessert (personally, it’s more bread / tarama but each has its own junk food!).
- You never make your bed and you take all the space on purpose.
- You only fill the fridge in case of extreme necessity (mom is invited to lunch!), At best once a month.
- You charge your smartphone twice a day. The stuff almost became a landline. Never switched off, it has its place under the 2nd pillow available in the bed (yes… in case the man of your life – Marc Darcy, therefore – calls you in a dream).
- You pee with the door open, and you wait for the next pee to flush the toilet (economical and ecological).
- You can hang out from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. in the Quechua fleece sofa on Sunday, with sports leggings that have never seen a training mat (what is that ???)
- You don’t do too much housework, unless Mom comes for a coffee (and again, hopefully so desperate for her daughter, she’ll take the vacuum cleaner and the Cif herself).
- You never iron. Besides, you don’t have an iron!
- You get paid for drinks in the evening. The technique is to wait until the guys are a little tipsy. Unstoppable.
- You invite your girlfriends, telling them not to come with their guys and even less with their kids.
- You are still using your old couple’s EDF bill to pay less for the municipal library and parking lot.
- You do not store dry laundry, the dryer serves as a cupboard.
- You drink from the bottle.
- You do the dishes when the glasses are finished and you eat with a spoon (or with your fingers, depending on your mood).
- On weekends, you take baths when you wake up, then at 3 p.m. and another at 7 p.m. … that’s also very green!
- You are in the 7th season of the Mysteries of Love (I believe that there, we have hit rock bottom As long as you do not watch Hanouna, there is still hope!).
Yes it’s ugly, so what ?!
Who cares what other people think!
I’m sure we can do the same with couples and I would be tempted to say that when it comes to crappy secrecy it can’t be bad either!
As long as you find your account in your celib life and that you do not get lost in your daily work, then all is well!