Did you know that we spend 30% of our existence daydreaming about an ideal? Ideal job, armored bank account, ideal house without neighbor without vis-à-vis by the sea or on the mountainside, ideal all-inclusive vacations on a paradisiacal beach, ideal offspring known as “king’s choice”, ideal body to return in the ideal clothes of the moment, and the ideal guy obviously …
Tall, Handsome, Rich, Socially IN, with a professional situation to make you pale (he is CEO! My mother will adoooooorer !!!). We secretly dream of accumulating all these bonus points on the same conquest, much like we dream of winning the Euromillion.
More commonly known as PRINCE CHARMANT, this male specimen has nothing to envy its great female rival known as the RARE PEARL.
We often imagine that we will cross him hair in the wind, surrounded by an aura of light, with his beautiful face and undermined exactly as in our most beautiful dreams.
Except that there in general the disc is scratched noisily.
Your coworker shakes your arm and brings you back to reality, telling you it’s your turn to pick up the phone and you have to stop with that anyway, Ryan Gosling really lives too far from home.
The n**ughty she just broke your childhood dream !!! What do you mean Prince Charming doesn’t exist? Have I been lied to?
But of course we lied to you! Prince Charming is like Santa Claus, he’s just a legend!
Did you not understand?
Each time it’s the same with your ideal:
- or he’s twice your age
- either he has a girlfriend
- either he doesn’t love you
- or he lives on the other side of the planet
- or he doesn’t know that you exist
But open your eyes let’s see !! HE DOES NOT EXIST!
Yes, honey, real life is not the land of unicorns …
We don’t choose what we like like in the store with lots of glitter and falbala (although some dating apps offer us the supermarket/cart concept).
And often the more demanding you are, the more you search and the less you find.
So yes we are talking about the ideal, we like bald people, adults, backpackers, adventurers, intellectuals, quadra for their experience, sportsmen (not just for their muscles!) Beards, redheads …
We all have more or less an ideal. The problem is that we keep adding selection criteria. We would like him to have all the qualities: that he is rich, fairy of the house, cordon bleu, shrink, educator for children, intelligent, that he does not like football …
Except it’s just impossible to meet someone perfect because there is no such thing as perfection! Even the purest of diamonds have their flaws.
In addition, we generally attract our opposite, because if we were identical, we would have difficulty being complementary. Necessarily.
Take a test, ask the couples around you, how many partners were found who corresponded in every way to their ideal ?! And yes. Very little.
In love we do not choose, we fall in love. Cupid pierces us before we have had time to realize what is going on and Basta!
We love the other for what he is, for what he gives off, for what he thinks, for his smell, for his way of smiling at us, looking at us, hugging us, making us laugh and forget everything. We cannot put it in any of the boxes of the masculine ideal because it is our perfectly imperfect, the one who makes us vibrate. He looks nothing like the image we had of him. Normal, it is the opposite !!!
How many girlfriends will tell you: “ if I had been told that…. I would never have believed it, we are so different! ”
All this to say that we must leave room for the unexpected …
- Let fate act
- Stop this useless quest for the ideal guy
- Let come what is offered to you
- Let the charm work
- Forget your principles and criteria
Keep in mind that we are neither in a casting nor in a recruitment campaign, we are talking about love, feeling, life project.
So let go, accept to literally fall in love with your literally opposite!