Getting out of a toxic relationship is quite possible, you can lift your head and make the right decisions, but to get there, you need to put in place the right actions. The life of a couple is not always rosy yet it is not inevitable, you can react and it starts now!
On the other hand, if you come across a manipulator or even a narcissistic pervert, flee as quickly as possible because it is particularly complex to change someone who has a toxic personality.
What is a toxic relationship?
A bad relationship is a love story that no longer brings you anything positive and on the contrary, makes you unhappy. You wake up every morning with a lump in your stomach because stress takes hold of you, for the reasons I just mentioned or for others that are more personal to you.
Despite your initiatives, you feel that nothing is improving and even that things get worse over time. Your partner does not really make an effort to help you get through these different trials and you, therefore, have the impression of getting out of breath and especially the most painful of wanting to fight alone. There is nothing more frustrating… Your other half does not feel your discomfort and/or that him and her.
In order to get out of a toxic relationship, it’s important to understand what it means. The fact that you occasionally argue with the person who shares your life should not come into question, it is normal not to always be on the same wavelength as the person who shares our life. You should therefore not immediately imagine a crisis when it is just a simple misunderstanding.
The toxic relationship is a real drama because it destroys you from the inside and often it has been around for a while. We do not get rid of it so easily, but there are still actions to take to overcome a harmful love story .
How to recognize a harmful relationship? Signs of a toxic relationship!
Not all romantic breakups are the result of a toxic relationship. Indeed, a simple argument, a big disagreement does not mean that your ex or your partner is someone who has a bad background who only seeks to harm you in order to have control over your state of mind…
To be in a toxic relationship you first have to find yourself with a partner who wants to hurt us and hurt us deep inside. I am not necessarily talking about physical violence because there is no need to be beaten for the couple to bring us bad luck, it is more about psychological abuse .
And that’s why it’s especially hard to rebuild yourself after a toxic relationship. It is something that we feel deep within ourselves and it is not visible so we do not always realize it.
If everything went well at the start, things change at some point. Whether quickly or after a few years, the behavior of the one who shared your life has not been the same at all.
There are insults, lies, manipulation, we start to feel belittled , we feel guilty for things that we have not done which obviously will lead to annoyance, permanent ill-being and to questions about oneself. This phenomenon causes a loss of self-confidence and we therefore question ourselves.
These are not simple ephemeral arguments simply because it lasts a long time, for weeks, months we are dealing with a man who is far from corresponding to us, who does not allow us to be happy. We alienate our family, friends, loved ones all that for him/her and we have regrets, we do not understand his behavior especially since we have made a huge effort for too long, but he is a one-sided effort and it is never enough …
At a given moment we must, therefore, make a radical decision when we realize that we are living with a person harmful to our development.
Toxic and difficult romantic relationship: Should we turn the page or save our relationship?
I am often asked whether it is in coaching or in comments: “Alexandre, should I draw a line on my toxic love story or persevere so that everything changes? “.
I understand that you ask me this question but in reality, you already have the answer! Indeed, whether it is the rupture or the second chance, deep inside you, you know what you want.
Simply, you can fear making that decision, whatever it is. In order to make sure you are making the right choice, you need to take the necessary step back, and ask yourself the right questions at that point. For example, you can take a blank sheet of paper, divide it in half, and list the things that might prompt you to stay or leave in order to be less confused. This work does not have to be done in a few minutes, it can be done over several days! No need to rush things.
Getting out of a difficult romantic relationship can also mean saving your relationship and finally blossoming. Nothing forces you to divorce or separate. However, you must be aware that to relaunch a love story, efforts must be shared.
How to stop living with a narcissistic pervert
It is not always easy to open your eyes and see the true nature of the one you love, especially if the latter has a manipulative personality.
You have come to truly realize that this relationship is not good for you. Rebuilding yourself after a toxic relationship is often the first step of putting aside your emotional dependence and being able to start to let go. Everything we do, what we say, what we want is based on it. That time is over! Indeed, you must now think of yourself as a priority because your partner does not care about you and your desires.
The first thing to do is to accept that this man is adopting a behavior that has nothing to do with love, and to stop seeing him as the person who is made for you, who is unique. From the moment you close down and absolutely want to retain the positive, you lose your chances of rebuilding yourself after a toxic relationship in love.
Distance is an important point when you want to give yourself a chance to move forward and no longer suffer, so you will have to change your habits and no longer be constantly behind him. It is not a radio silence in the sense that I explain it in love reconquest because the goal is not to recover his ex but only to rebuild himself. It is rather important to get out of the routine and always have the same actions towards him and to always give him a new chance.
The idea is therefore to cut contacts or else to break the phases during which the PN will want to re-seduce you to fall back into toxic relationships or toxic relationships.
Not only taking a psychological step back but also physical distance will help you no longer seem acquired, but in addition, you will give yourself time and space to gradually feel better about yourself. The first stages will necessarily be difficult to manage but you will go through phases during which you will gradually come out of the clutches of this manipulator. From there your reconstruction will be launched!
It is important, if we want to put all the chances on our side not to spend time with him because we will undoubtedly slow down and the risk of falling back into the trap set by the manipulator will be great.
Really change, the key to getting out of Toxic Love
It is essential not to act based on the past and repeat the same mistakes or let your partner act in the same way.
One of the keys to saving your marriage or to overcoming a romantic break-up and moving forward is to change your habits.
I will take the example of infidelity again. If you constantly forgive your partner and nothing changes on your side or his, if you do not put in place the necessary mechanisms to impose yourself and become irresistible again. Therefore you will never be able to get out of it this way and your discomfort will only increase. Not only because your other half will continue to be unfaithful, but also because you will exhaust yourself by having the impression that you are implementing actions that in reality will be ineffective because they are inappropriate.
No matter your decision, whether you choose the breakup or the second chance, it is crucial to have a radical change in your relationship but not in any way. It is imperative that you understand your partner’s expectations if you want to turn a toxic relationship into a balanced one.
However, this evolution should not be made for your partner but for you, it must be sincere if you want it to allow you to really find happiness, on the one hand personally and then in your sentimental life.
Rebuild yourself after a toxic relationship by targeting your happiness in love
For many women, happiness in love is simply finding someone who is right for you and living with them. But this reasoning is wrong or at least it is not the one I recommend because it has limits.
Choosing someone by default simply so as not to be alone is not the right thing to do because very quickly we find ourselves in a situation that does not allow us to flourish, we find ourselves in a harmful relationship because it does not t is not based on good foundations and above all, we forbid ourselves to be really happy.
Happiness in love consists in finding someone who really corresponds to us and with whom the affinities will be strong . That is to say a person who listens to us, who certainly has flaws but who still knows how to bring us well-being.
I am aware that for many people it is a little too optimistic view of love but I know it exists, I know it because thousands of people live it after discovering my philosophy.
Everyone has a different vision of love and life together, for some it will have to be a lot of communication, for others it will take a rather intense s**x life to stay with the same person, for ‘others it will be psychological osmosis … But the common point is choosing this toxic man or woman for the right reasons and to live intense moments with the online happiness of mir.
You have to share strong moments together, have friendly projects, and also accept that time is an element to take into consideration.
Your life is not going to be like Hollywood comedies you fall in love with in 2 days and one look.
It is going to be necessary to understand that our relationship may take longer to be totally solid. So do not break up after a week with someone you like simply because you have not fallen in love with or fall under the spell of a person who thinks only of her and that hurts you.
How to find love again after a painful relationship?
Loneliness is not the solution to rebuilding yourself after a toxic relationship. While you don’t necessarily have to get back together 3 days after the breakup, you can’t just wait and do nothing for your love life.
However, finding love again after a painful break-up is not always easy because we often stay focused on the past. Distance will also play a useful role in this step. Seeing your ex on Facebook, talking to him by text, accepting his date isn’t going to help you, far from it. When we have suffered in love, it is better to turn the page to better move forward.
We must also remember our mistakes and to stop committing, for example, we can put a little more barriers, be a little less present at least in the early stages, not to rush, not to move towards the same style of toxic men or harmful women in order to start from scratch and above all to ensure that the past is not too present because it is the thing that could prevent you from getting out of it.
