Should you run away or overcome your feelings? Running away from them for fear of being hurt or overcoming them to accept what life offers us, even if we don’t know for how long.
Difficulties are a part of life. They are not optional. But when we are faced with it, two options are always available: avoid or face. No matter how difficult we are, we always have a choice between seeing it as an impassable wall or approaching it as a challenge. Depending on the attitude we adopt, the results are different.
This question I asked myself yesterday, and many other times. But yesterday especially because a friend told me about her fears. In summary, it looks like this:
” I like him.
I think he likes me too.
But the situation is not simple.
Better to stop right away than to suffer ”.
Sarah feels completely helpless
because she doesn’t have the energy or the courage to
to overcome a wall which appears to him to be impassable.
Faced with this impasse, flight appears to him as a possible solution. She sees only one way to escape the difficulty: to avoid facing it.
But what is the price to pay for this leak? She will never know if this story could have worked. She will always ask herself this famous question: “What if I had tried it?” “.
I’ll be honest, the situation she described to me is not easy. But the feelings are there. And that’s all you need to remember.
So why wouldn’t she turn this difficulty into a challenge?
By approaching the difficulty as a challenge to be met,
she will be tempted to face it rather than avoid it.
Here is the answer I gave him:
“It’s too early to ask you these kinds of questions.
Enjoy the good times.
Stop thinking negative.
You have lived too long in suffering and in fear of it.
Unhappiness is your friend and you keep thinking about it as if you are more comfortable unhappy than happy.
So think positive: the more you think positive the more you attract the positive.
Don’t ask yourself a thousand questions.
Let go of a little ballast.
Give yourself time, give yourself time.
For you as for him.
Today you think he’s the man of your life. In a month this may no longer be the case. Nobody knows, especially not you. You will see.
We must take the events one by one
And finally: be patient. “
So obviously, making the choice to overcome your fears will go through several acceptances:
- Trading comfort for discomfort
- Swap the known for the unknown
- Become able to feel vulnerable
- Confront the fear of being rejected
But the payoff is great:
- An increase in confidence and self-esteem
- An increase in the feeling of internal security.
- The feeling of regaining power over one’s life
This result also comes from the fact that we face our difficulty,
that we accumulate an experience where we really are
able to face our problems.
So to come back to my friend Sarah:
I am well aware that it is very easy for me to give him advice that I do not necessarily take myself! But I deeply believe in the fact that we must give ourselves the chances of success. And for that, it takes the courage to face the situations without being afraid of defeat or suffering. Without thinking about all the eventualities.
“A certain confidence of character
helps win hearts “