I am going to tell you a secret, girls: I have the impression of systematically getting into stories condemned to cause suffering. Me or the other, your choice.
Each time, I tell myself very proudly and believing in it “I will not be taken back!” “. And yet … I start again!
Why change a winning team you will say ?!
Some fairly conclusive examples… Come on, have fun!
- The narcissistic p*rvert: so brilliant, so beautiful, so manipulative and so ambitious that we go for it… and with your eyes closed moreover;
- The handsome kid: the one everyone is tearing off, but who is none other than a professional womanizer. Race results: you are just one conquest among others, but like an idiot, you believed in it;
- The best friend: with whom you spend a night because you need a blanket. But unfortunately, from the next day your friendship will never be the same again;
- The guy you have absolutely nothing in common with: but he’s nice and you don’t have anyone else. So in summary: you use it;
- The dream teller: the one who has nothing to envy Cyrano, who gives you fine speeches and throws you like shit between two sweet words;
- The perfect man: you try because your girlfriends force you to do it, but it’s a waste of time… you don’t have the “little thing” that makes you vibrate;
- The married man with whom we absolutely do not see ourselves living: with whom we would never have tried anything if he had not had the ring on his finger. No risk, therefore. But we end up getting attached so the result is the same…;
- The married man, with whom we would project ourselves well: you see this little routine as a couple, well with him, we would be tempted … so we throw ourselves headlong into the story but the chance that it will end in something is close to nothing;
You know what? I think unfortunately love and pain go hand in hand. Two synonyms are yet antagonistic.
Love is born with a look, lives with a kiss and dies with a tear
Who wants to suffer on purpose? No one. Unless you are totally masochistic.
But yet, who wants to be loved? Everybody…
And that’s where it gets stuck! Are we doomed to cry?
We dream of love while fearing the suffering it will generate.
Are we all masochists after all? Yes, maybe a little … But above all, I believe that it is in the nature of man to love and be loved, no matter the sacrifice …
Because could we live without love? The answer is clear: NO.
To live is to love
To love is to suffer
To suffer is to die, so why live?
In fact, love hurts at all its stages.
- At the start: with all the anxieties of the beginning of a relationship, the insecurity of which is the most marked;
- In its cruising speed: with the fear of estrangement, the fear of adultery, the fear of no longer satisfying the other, the everyday crises which no one can escape, etc;
- At the end of the day: whether it is you or the other who leaves, to see a being that one has deeply loved move away is a real heartbreak;
So the solutions (if there are any):
- Accept to suffer in order to be able to love and therefore to live;
- Avoid emotional dependence at all costs. An example of emotional dependence is evident when one hears the saying “ When I fall in love with a man, I find it difficult to be interested in anything other than him, I need him to fill me and fills me. When he leaves me, even for a few hours, I feel empty ”. The more dependent you are, the more scary the smallest events in your life as a couple. Being addicted is like having no self-esteem. You shouldn’t sacrifice anything of your dreams, projects, or desires for “so-called love”. You have to stay yourself and continue to realize yourself fully;
- Do not appropriate the other: everyone must have their space of freedom;
- Avoid systematically choosing the one that will (no doubt) make you suffer. And for that you have to learn above all to know yourself to detect what is good for you;
Love hurts, that’s obvious.
But it’s also a huge source of happiness
which no one should deprive themselves of, even out of fear.
Especially not out of fear.
Good news, however, for you my dear celibate women :
We have therefore seen that love and the couple bring their sufferings. Love is never full.
The suffering of celibacy can be experienced in a hope capable of filling the anguish of loneliness. Hope in a greater, stronger, more beautiful love.
And even if love is not rosy every day, we dream about it!