A few days ago, aperitif between girls, the big debate on… Love of course. The main question: Is it possible to love the same person all their life? And if this were the case, how can we continue to love the other “well”? How to love her despite the years? How can we not let this love get caught up in routine, hardship, or even the birth of a child?
In summary: How to maintain the flame?
Well, personally I didn’t have the answer. Neither did my aperitif acolytes either. And now, between two mojitos, a young and handsome stranger advises us to read In the heart of the 5 languages of love, ensuring that we will find the answers to our questions there. I pay little attention to it at the time. But the next day when I wake up, curious (and yes, and if he held the key to my happiness, this handsome brunette? It would be stupid to miss it… we are not at 7 euros ready…), I hasten to buy. 2 clicks later, it is at home (not the handsome brown, the book! Must be continued even if I would not have been totally against let’s face it! In short … I’m getting away from the subject there, but I put myself a little reminder “Think about finding the beautiful brown”.
Swallowed in 1 hour (the book). Run to buy it! After Men come from Mars, Women come from Venus, it is ESSENTIAL! I will try to give you a quick summary.
The author assumes that we must learn the
language of our spouse to communicate well.
That it is not enough to be sincere and to try (in vain) for the other to understand how much we love them. The important thing is to speak the emotional language of the other, and to fill “the couple’s reservoir of love”.
Indeed the need for love of the other must be satisfied
so that he reveals the best of himself.
He identified 5 effective languages :
Language n ° 1: VALUING WORDS
Words of encouragement, kind words, humble words.
If this is the language of your spouse, remember words are important!
Language n ° 2: QUALITY MOMENTS
Being together, sharing quality dialogues, learning to speak, sharing quality activities.
Language n ° 3: GIFTS
It is not necessarily material. A gift can just be the physical presence of the other or even a bouquet of flowers.
Language n ° 4: SERVICES PROVIDED
List the other’s requests and respond to them as proof of love.
Language n ° 5: PHYSICAL TOUCH
Take the other’s hand, hug him, massage him …
Get down to discovering the other’s language to satisfy their emotional need, their need for security. And of course, make sure you know and identify your own language.
Love is a choice.
A choice we make every day.
Respond to each other’s needs by trying
to understand it is a choice.
Let’s learn to speak the language of the other,
whether it matches us or not.
To the question “Can Love be reborn despite the passage of time?” “, The author is categorical” Naturally. The secret is to learn the main language of love for the other and to decide to talk about it ”.
And he adds, to conclude….
“If I know the main language of love for the other and choose to speak it, his deepest emotional need will be met and he will feel secure in my love. If he does the same for me, my emotional needs will be met and we will both live with a full tank. Thanks to this emotional balance, we will devote our energy to enriching projects on the margins of our relationship, while we will continue to flourish together ”