How can we still believe in love? The love of a lifetime. True, sincere, and genuine. The one who shares the best and the worst, who goes through gales and storms.
All around me people are getting divorced, wrong, and torn apart.
The Great Love: a myth?
Cinderella, Snow White, Donkey Skin, and other little plagues have all made us believe that one day a prince charming would come and get us on his white horse …
As if two people were necessarily destined for each other: they meet, recognize each other (obviously!), Fall in love in the second…. And love each other all life long! Eternity. Love. Heart butterflies…. (ok I’m delusional!).
Editor’s note: Their charming princes do not make me dream… tall, blond, bland, honeyed voices, not very trendy costumes, all the time humming songs with totally silly lyrics… .And let’s add that it must not be very comfortable to ride non-stop on the rump of a horse clinging to its prince!
So, if this famous prince still makes you vibrate despite that (after all, it takes something for everyone), girls I have a scoop: believing that this is possible and real is harmful to healthy relationships in love! Because you are waiting for something that does not exist and therefore will not happen.
Of course, love, at first sight, is a possibility. But love at first sight = passion = drama. Can I remind you how Romeo and Juliet end or is it not worth it? (By the way according to Geekosystem – eminent professor of English literature – Romeo is a s**x addict who leads a 13-year-old girl to suicide. Not very glamorous glamor all that!)
Great love is at the root of all great tragedies!
Romy Schneider and Alain Delon, Sissi and Franz …. ok ok I’m off-topic survived).
SO MAKE YOUR MOURNING! Yes, love will knock on your door but not love which will be synonymous with suffering, violence, and even fewer illusions and disappointments.
Stop the mistaken image we have about love!
To believe in Great Love is to suppose that there is a chosen one and that we are, therefore, the chosen one of another. So you fall head over heels in love (so far so good), your relationship is passionate, inevitably degenerates… and you stay together for the simple reason that there is only one on earth ?! NO! STOOOOP!
I have another scoop girl: the toad which turns into Brad Pitt (or Di Caprio… yeah for me it would be more Di Caprio), that does not exist! So don’t kiss the toads, all it’ll get you is a terrible feeling of disgust
What if great love could be built?
You meet him, please, you try. But let’s be frank: this is not nirvana. But you hang on because he’s a good guy (I say that but I’m the first not to get there). And the feelings begin to blossom and become more and more powerful.
A solid romantic relationship breaks down into a regularly renewed seductive relationship and an empathetic relationship, which allows one to understand each other.
A lasting couple is built on adventures lived together which become the history of the couple, its founding myths, on the development of small intimate rituals.
The idea is to no longer see the great love
like absolute love
but like a relationship that exists in the real world,
with its strengths and weaknesses.
True love develops values that the state of love has not necessarily taken the time to explore: respect, tenderness, complicity, trust … but it also knows how to deal with disappointment, the exasperation of from time to time even at a distance.
Great love is the one who will be able to brave many trials, including that of time. It’s a mix of friendship, respect, esteem, and humor cemented with intimacy.
How to recognize his great love?
- After 3 years, you still vibrating
Before about 3 years, it’s easy to believe in great love: we idealize our partner, our heartbeats as soon as they approach… We are above all in love with the sensations we experience. You have to wait for the passion to pass to make room for love.
True love is born when the relationship has proven itself when we have really discovered the qualities of the other when the real questions have been asked when we have overcome several crises.
- Your relationship is a source of satisfaction
You are more serene since you are together, you are proud of what you have built together, your partner helps you to open up more to the outside world …
Of course, it probably does not satisfy you 100% – only your parents had this ability when you were a child – but your relationship brings you very concrete things, and not just the joy of living alongside them.
- You + Him = 2
The myth of great love wants us to be one, to understand each other without speaking.
Illusion! We each have changing feelings and needs.
The couple is the addition of two individuals in perpetual motion, hence the surprises, friction, and constant readjustments necessary …
Fusion couples are the most dysfunctional. To form a couple, you have to be two differentiated and autonomous people who give each other common projects.
I only have one choice to tell you:
Exit prince charming
Welcome in real life!