When we say to a person “I don’t need you, but I want you by my side,” it shows that we are sure about our feelings towards them, but that our happiness does not depend on them. We know exactly who we are and what path we are taking.
When we realize that we love our partner but that our happiness does not depend on them, the love we feel is deeply mature and healthy love. When there is no addiction in love, it is not intended to fill our voids and our needs.
I respect your need for space and independence, but I want you by my side
When there is mature love, we respect each other’s need for freedom. In addition, we value this freedom insofar as what matters is not to attach but to let the other fly so that he chooses us. With this way of approaching relationships, the two partners then have several freedoms in the relationship:
The freedom to fully experience their emotions:
Even though partners have a very deep relationship, they have their own emotions and respect each other. We all experience things differently, and the reality we create is unique to everyone.
The freedom to make choices:
Even if a person has a very deep relationship with someone, they are free to make their own choices and choose what is best for them.
The freedom to fully express their feelings:
Both partners are free to express their emotions and thoughts. They are influenced by culture, experiences, and education.
So when we approach relationships in this way, whether it is a friendship, romantic or family relationship, we realize that the freedom of the other person is essential and that we must respect their decisions for their personal development. and for the balance of the relationship.
Contrary to what some might think, love and freedom are not mutually exclusive. However, we deprive the other of his freedom when we demand that he change for us.
I know what I want in life, but I want you by my side
When we realize that we have our own opinions and points of view, it allows us not to depend on our partner in the relationship because:
We know that we can pursue our own projects and goals:
When we have a healthy, mature relationship, it does not prevent both partners from pursuing their own plans and goals. In this kind of relationship, we encourage and support each other to always go further.
We love who we are:
We know who we are and realize that we are as valuable as the other person, so we don’t need their validation.
When we know what we want in life, then we realize that affection is not synonymous with love addiction. The choices we make don’t depend on the ones we love.
I can live without you, but I want you by my side
When we say to the other person “I am able to live without you, but I want you by my side” it shows that we respect them and that we want them to be free to achieve all their dreams and plans.
We also understand that when there is mature love, we don’t need someone else to live, even though we do want to have that person by our side. This means that we do not deploy any strategy to manipulate the other, because we are aware that we each have our life, with our own dreams, our own desires.
Our world will not change if this person is no longer there because our fulfillment does not come from the outside, but from the inside. It is a way of life and a conscious choice. And to achieve happiness, it is essential that we are happy with ourselves.
So by doing this, we will also be happy with others because we will not develop any relationship out of necessity but because we will want them. These people will not be there to fill our voids and our needs, they will simply be there to accompany us on our journey.