Our brain processes rejection the same way we do physical pain; when we feel wronged, our brain releases a chemical pain reliever to try to inhibit our pain. Despite the natural opioid flowing through our veins, studies indicate that rejection can confuse our thoughts and affect our IQ.
We have all experienced the feeling of rejection before, and we know how it feels.
It is for this reason that we try to keep people with the utmost compassion in our heart. But sometimes we are in a situation where we realize that we need to be more understanding. We need healthy boundaries.
This is not a decision to be taken lightly. After all, we’re wired for the connection. Our primary fear of rejection and abandonment is what motivates us to do our best to avoid relationship breakdown, even when we know the relationship is no longer serving us.
But here are 5 people we should cut ties with:
1. People you can no longer trust.
To feel secure in a relationship, a person must have the freedom to truly express their deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences. For the relationship to work, there must be mutual trust. Trust is knowing that we will be accepted for who we are and that what we express will remain confidential.
A lack of trust is a real obstacle to authentic connection. When someone in my life revealed personal details about me to my employer, I decided to cut ties with anyone who violated my trust, because I believe I have the right to feel safe in my relationships.
2. People who don’t respect you as a human being.
We are all socialized in some ways. But as women, in particular, we are taught that men’s attention is our main goal and that we should always strive to be attractive and likable, even if that means accepting abuse and disrespect.
I had a lot of trouble with that, and still is. And it is for this reason that I decided to remove from my life all those who did not respect me as a human being.
If you give me inappropriate comments about myself or another woman, you have no place in my life. And if you want to be my friend, but deep down you just want to put me in your bed, there’s no room for you in my life.
If you cannot respect the fact that I am a human being with my own wants and needs, you have no place in my life. And if you can’t respect my ability to make my own choices, you don’t have your place in my life.
If you are a woman, and you always blame other women and disrespect them. You don’t belong in my life either.
These limits are very difficult to define. The way we interact with each other is strongly influenced by our culture. And sometimes we don’t even see the consequences of our own behavior. We all make mistakes. But if we work every day, we can set healthy boundaries that respect everyone involved.
3. People who try to make us feel guilty.
We all know these people, the ones who are constantly trying to make us feel guilty about something. When we are with these people, we feel uncomfortable. We feel that we need to explain and apologize all the time.
But we have to stop with this. These people think our job is to please them. Guilt can be a helpful emotion, it tells us when we’ve done something wrong, but when we have a relationship with someone who always makes us feel like we’re not good enough, it can drain our energy and degrade our self-esteem. self.
We can be nice, but it’s not up to us to make others always feel comfortable. Sometimes we have to cancel plans or turn things around for positive change, which means cutting ties with those who can’t take responsibility for their own emotions.
4. People who never change.
Sometimes everyone gets stuck in a rut. But when those around us have been stuck in the same rut for years, it indicates that something is wrong. Sometimes friends, family, or business partners find themselves in difficult situations and ask for our help. Reaching out when someone is in need is fine, but in some cases we need to know how to say no.
We can only help those who want to help themselves. Many people say they want to change, but their actions tell us otherwise. Maybe they always say how miserable they are, but instead of trying to fix it, they’d rather sit on the couch and watch shows all day.
No one has to be constantly happy and positive, and it’s important to honor and process our negative feelings and experiences. But some seem to blossom into the drama and at some point we have to recognize the importance of taking care of our own well-being above all else.
5. Wicked people.
It almost sounds ridiculous to say that we don’t need bad people in our life, but you might be surprised at how many people stay in a relationship with someone even if they’ve been rude or cruel in the past.
In high school, there were girls who ignored me, who quietly intimidated me, and who spoke behind my back. But because of my desire to belong, I tried anyway.
I also experienced this later in life. I noticed some of my friends were making mean comments to me in passing. When that happened, I tried not to talk about it and just keep going as if nothing had happened. But the comments piled up and it impacted my self-esteem.
Now if someone says something that hurts my feelings, I try to make it clear to them.
Cutting ties with those who are dear to us is a difficult process. Every relationship is unique, but we need to determine if it’s healthy enough to keep it.
In the end, you need to have compassion for yourself first. You deserve respect. You have the right to set your own limits, this will open the door to more positive and nurturing relationships.