To turn the page, we often hear that to forget someone, it takes half the time of the relationship.
So, for example, if you were together for two years, you would need a year.
You are also told to write the date on your calendar.
That you will eventually lose interest in that person. We recommend that you count the days you have left to get better.
“I have 72 days left and everything will be fine. “
” In three weeks I won’t miss you. “
” Tomorrow will be fine. “
Then one day, that long-awaited day arrives. The sun rises on this magical date when it’s exactly half the length of your relationship. That day, you must not miss him anymore, and you finally move on.
But it doesn’t ever happen like that.
You don’t feel better, you don’t feel “free” either. You still miss him and you still have pain. It’s been days, weeks, months, years. But the pain is still as palpable as the day of the breakup. For you, time has not healed anything. You have the impression that it was yesterday.
So you check your calculations on the calendar. Maybe you still have a week or another 24 hours to go. Tomorrow you might be better.
But in reality, nothing is different.
And the next day arrives, it’s always the same.
Countless tomorrows follow and the sun rises and sets and you feel stuck in an endless cycle where you are unable to move on. You look at yourself, you look at this endless vicious wound that you are stuck in. You wonder if this is just your new reality. If this is the world you are meant to be stuck in forever.
Now you are convinced that there is no tomorrow and that you will miss it forever.
But there is no way to move on, to beat the people. There is no recipe, no formula, no magical way to wake up one morning and turn the page.
You can do yoga, meditate, try to get to a quiet place. You can also pretend to smile by repeating “I’m fine” until your voice fades. Finally, you can set an end date by saying, “This is the last day I’ll be sad” and just believe it will work. But the reality is, none of these things really make you forget someone.
The truth is, if you can’t turn the page, it’s simply because you’re not ready to do it.
It means that you are not ready to face a world without this person. You are not ready to exist as me and no longer as us, nor as a single person. You also do not feel ready to move forward because you are focusing on your present and not on your future.
In reality, you are just still in mourning. And that’s not a shame.
You can feel what you are feeling even though you have been told that you should deal with it now. You have the right not to know when you will be able to get better and turn the page.
Because one day you will be better. There is no way to know when, but you will be grieved. You will wake up without thinking, “Maybe it will be better tomorrow.” One day you will say “I’m fine” and you will mean it.
That day, you will have turned the page. And who knows, maybe it will be tomorrow.
