I stopped asking myself all these toxic questions about my self-esteem, my appearance, or my character.
I also stopped being so hard on myself and highlighting all my flaws. I’m no longer trying to be perfect so that I can feel good enough for you. I will always be good enough for whoever loves me as I am.
I stopped comparing myself to your exes, wanting to have a certain skin color, a certain height, or a certain age. Instead, now I spend more time trying to be myself, to be a better person, to be the best person for the one who really deserves me.
I stopped putting you on a pedestal, thinking that you are perfect, faultless.
I stopped being the victim, I stopped letting you break my heart and calling it love.
Now, I no longer see unrequited love as a love affair. I stopped trying to go back to the first time we met and wonder what was wrong, to understand why you stopped calling me or why you didn’t keep your promises.
I no longer ask the opinion of others, hoping they tell me something that will make me happy, waiting for them to give me the assurance that you were unable to give me and waiting for them to tell me no not leave you.
I gave up on you. And I’m glad I did.
Because I tend to take you out of the equation and blame myself for everything. I tend to blame myself for not deserving your love or for not being the person you’re looking for.
I now understand how people can destroy themselves. I understand how they can ruin their lives just focusing on the person who couldn’t love them and trying at all costs to change that reality.
We don’t blame ourselves for loving the wrong person, we blame ourselves for why they didn’t love us back.
We trust with our heart even though we have just met the person.
And we wonder why she couldn’t take care of it. We let her convince us that her love will be our triumph, that it will be what we need for our own validation, all we need to complete us.
We let these individuals leave us feeling incomplete because we don’t stop to look at what they haven’t given us, what they haven’t been, and how incompatible we were.
I stopped letting you make me feel incomplete. I complete myself on my own.
I stopped waiting for you to reassure me. My heart would never have been safe with you.