You always felt like you were too good for him or him, with your fiery heart and vibrant laughter, thoughtful mind, and boundless emotions.
In contrast, he or she liked to keep things simple, uncomplicated. Nothing important, nothing deep, nothing complex. Nothing that can make her or him think or feel.
You were afraid to scare that person away, you did what you always do.
Piece by piece, you ripped out the parts of yourself that you thought he or she couldn’t handle. You put them by hand between the pages of the tattered book you keep, the one that hides all the parts of yourself that you were afraid to show the world.
You have become more manageable, more pleasant, easier to handle. Because if that’s what you had to do to get him or her to accept you, to want you or even love you someday, then you were ready to do it. You would have done anything for him.
You have long claimed that you were happy. Maybe sometimes you thought you were. But sometimes those torn parts would call to you, and your body was having a hard time finding them, to be whole again. You told them no. You were too afraid to scare him, so you squeezed the pages once more.
You tried to convince yourself that you could survive that way, like a figure – without substance, without soul. But you were empty, hollow. In weightlessness, you found it difficult to hold back any longer. You needed those parts of yourself that made you whole.
And so, one piece at a time, you started to recover. Slowly, quietly. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. Or maybe if he or she did, he or she would somehow learn to love those extra parts of you.
The more complete or complete you were, the harder he or she was to deny the truth about you. You started to share your opinions, to say what you thought. You started laughing with abandon, allowing the joy, sadness, anger, enthusiasm, fear, trust, love, to flow from you like water, like the tears he always told you not to let out. You have accepted your imagination, your passion, your creativity, your intellect, your complexity, your intuition, your wild spirit, and your fierce heart.
You have become what you always should have been.
Then he or she left.
You have just become too good.
You blamed yourself as if you had done something wrong. If only you had remained insignificant, less well. If only you had hidden these parts of yourself, like before. If only you hadn’t scared him.
You were just too good for him or her.
He or she was never good enough for you.
You need more than a man or woman who runs away easily. That a woman or a man only willing to dip his toes in shallow water for fear of the abyss.
You need a man or woman with the heart of a warrior or a warrior, brave and loyal and fearless and strong.
Maybe you will find him/her. Maybe not. Either way, it doesn’t matter.
Because she or he is not the hero of this story.
You are the hero or the h**roine.
Because you are good enough. And everything you need is within you.