Typical. You adore your boyfriend, but it’s not very natural for you to talk to him.
This can be due to a number of things.
Why can your boyfriend be silent?
Perhaps they are beginning to date and, although they burn with the desire to get to know each other, they are not very clear what things they should or can ask each other.
Maybe they’ve been dating for a while and feel like they’ve used up all the talking points. So they go from not stopping talking to spending hours in silence. Although it is not necessarily uncomfortable, it can leave you thinking that something is “not right”.
Maybe you or your boyfriend are just not very inclined to take the initiative to start a conversation.
As you can see, there are several reasons besides disinterest or problems that can make you feel that the flow of communication is not ideal.
Don’t worry, it actually happens to almost all couples, especially when they get into a rut.
Each couple is different and some will work much better for some than for others, but in general, you can use one of these 10 proposals to have a great topic of conversation with your boyfriend:
1. Questions to get to know you better
Sometimes, as obvious as it sounds, a list of curious questions can be the perfect solution to that conversational drought. You can be sure that there are a lot of things that you still do not know about your boyfriend.
Has it occurred to you to ask him who was his role model in childhood? or what was his worst moment in school? All these questions can be about personal experiences or tastes, and although they may seem banal, they are sometimes the gateway to very deep conversations.
Many times, they reveal milestones in your partner’s history that are very important and that you did not even know superficially.
2. Gossip from mutual friends
Yes, we admit it, it sounds bad, but… does a small weekly dose of gossip really hurt anyone?
It is not that they spend their time talking about which celebrity girl got married and went to the Bahamas, but they can be carried away for a while by the temptation to speculate the causes of your cousin’s divorce or the suspicious relationship between your boss and his secretary.
The possibilities for whispering are endless. And they not only have to do with the personal lives of your acquaintances or celebrities. Political gossip is also a great way to share ideological positions and do some catharsis.
Did gasoline go up? Did they uncover a scandal of a minister? Did they apply new state policies? You may not be able to do much about it, but you can always use these topics to have a conversation with your boyfriend that can even lead to the intellectual.
3. Ask him for advice
Let’s face it, men love feeling useful.
While women like to talk about their feelings and listen to others talk about what they feel, men are more likely to request and give practical solutions to problems.
We are not saying that you are not allowed to spend a lot of time talking exclusively about how you feel about a situation that bothers you or causes you problems, but always try to have the courtesy to ask for advice.
After all, he already listened to you and is sure he’s dying to give you a solution that he finds useful.
4. Ask him how his day was
We know. The “How was your day?” The scene, followed by “good, business as usual” and deathly silence is the most common for many couples, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
When we ask how the other person’s day was, out of courtesy or to get a social requirement, we will most likely get a courtesy answer, nothing more.
But if you really want to know how the person’s day was, show them by asking more specific questions like how was your mood this morning? What happened to the problem you had with your coworker? Could you go play squash? who won?
These types of questions show genuine interest and encourage your boyfriend to want to talk to you in detail about how his day was.
5. His hobbies and tastes
I remember having a boyfriend who was very passionate about history. At first, I, who am not clear about what happened yesterday, thought that this was going to be one of our most problematic differences.
What happened was that, when I dared to talk about history with him, not only did I learn a lot of things, but we could spend hours and hours talking about the French Revolution, the Mongols or the rise of the Roman Empire without me bore a second.
Also, he loved to share his knowledge with someone else. Do not despise the likes of your partner only because they do not attract your attention at first, because they can be a great source of entertainment for both of you.
6. His ambitions
And not just his obvious ambitions, like becoming independent, getting a raise, and maybe buying a house and starting a family. Which, incidentally, is also very important in deciding if you have common goals.
I mean short-term ambitions, like going on vacation, or those shameful dreams like having a heavy metal band.
Some of these ambitions will remain in the realm of fantasy, but who knows? maybe some are compatible with you and can even team up to achieve them.
7. Your friends
Are your boyfriend’s friends those abstract entities that you sometimes go out for drinks with? Well, it’s time for you to start being interested, even a little, in getting to know them.
Most of us have a best friend that we know everything about, so why not take on the task of asking your boyfriend a question about his?
After all, the personality and the relationship that we have with our friends is capable of saying a lot about ourselves.
8. Men’s things
And no, I don’t mean cars and beer, or video games. I mean, you ask what it means to your boyfriend to be a man.
Many times, we are very clear about what we like and what we dislike about being women, but we don’t really stop to think about how men experience their masculinity and how they feel about gender and role issues.
Sharing these positions can not only give you a healthy conversation time, it can also help you have a much more equal relationship.
9. Your perspectives
Remember that, just as it is important that you create a space for your partner to express what he thinks and how he feels, it is not about you staying silent.
Like him, you have very valuable opinions and points of view. So, if you want to express something, do it without fear because this is the basis of communication.
And remember that you don’t have to agree all the time. Maybe you like Japanese cinema and he considers it terrible. Is the world going to end because of that? Not.