Reasons for jealousy in relationships
At some point in your relationship, you will find yourself in a situation where you will feel jealous for something or someone. That is natural if it is occasional and mild, it becomes a problem when one of you begins to feel it in a pathological degree. That could have unpleasant consequences and could end your relationship.
Jealousy in a relationship (especially one that is irrational and not based on reality) is difficult to understand because it is a complex reaction that involves all kinds of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We would like to help you understand it, so that you can identify and combat it.
Jealousy is an emotion first of all, so it comes from within and is usually rooted in three main causes:
1. Insecurity
This is the most common source of jealousy and it has its roots in low self-esteem. Is it that feeling you have when you don’t feel confident that you are good enough or valuable enough to hold their interest in the long run? That’s the worst, right?
When you or he has low self-esteem, those unpleasant feelings of jealousy can be triggered by the most innocent situation, such as talking to someone of the opposite gender or simply looking at someone on the street.
2. Fear
Jealousy feelings can be triggered by fear of losing your partner. You need to do a reality check here. Are you sure this feeling of loss is due to taking each other for granted? So go ahead and work on it, it could strengthen your relationship.
The red flag arises when this feeling of loss becomes irrational or obsessive. You or he may begin to obsess over the idea that you are leaving for someone “better.”
3. Unhealthy competition
When you waste time and energy trying to be better than others, you definitely have feelings of jealousy. You’re jealous of what she’s accomplished, or her looks, and you’re in constant competition (that’s just from your side) because you see her as a potential threat. She’s going to steal it, so you have to be better.
Examples of jealousy in the relationship
Jealousy can be the worst, having a jealous partner or being jealous is not wonderful, as it can corrode a relationship and only give you misery. You have to know the difference between healthy worry and uncontrolled jealousy. The latter should be a red flag and you should be vigilant.
To help you identify unhealthy jealousy, we would like to provide you with some examples.
1. The constant “control”
It’s one thing to be genuinely concerned about their whereabouts, that’s normal and healthy. The red flag comes up when you ask him to “sign up” or constantly call or text him while out with friends. A healthy couple trusts others.
2. Look through the phone
If you are suffering from jealousy, you may feel the need to look through your partner’s phone just to make sure they are not texting or calling anyone who might pose a threat to your relationship (or this is how you do it). perceives).
3. The constant questions about his whereabouts
Demanding a detailed account of where you are or what you are doing (even if you are at work?) Is a sure sign of unhealthy jealousy.
4. Constantly accusing your partner of flirting
When he’s talking to someone else, you always suspect the worst of him, like he’s flirting with her even though you know her and nothing happens.
5. Stalking on social media
Always keeping an eye on your partner’s social media accounts (followers, likes, comments, friends) is a sign of jealousy.
10 tips on how to cope and how to overcome jealousy in relationships
As we said before, jealousy in certain cases is normal, it begins to be problematic when they make you act or wallow. If you start to feel this way, or your partner is misbehaving and making the relationship unbearable, then it’s time to do something about it.
You need to learn to handle them so that you will know how to deal with jealousy and overcome it. Here are 10 tips on how to do that, check them out, we hope they help you or someone you know.
1. Small doses of jealousy could be good for your relationship
If the relationship is important, a little jealousy is required and almost expected. It means that you care enough to make the relationship work. If you acknowledge and accept this as normal and move on, you will be able to overcome it. The opposite could happen if you deny that jealousy exists or never happens.
If you want a healthy relationship with regards to jealousy, then don’t deny that sometimes they make you jealous over the little things, just acknowledge them and don’t let them control you.
2. Give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him
Has he given you reason to doubt his fidelity? The most likely answer would be no, which is why those crazy thoughts only live in your head. You must trust him, otherwise the relationship has no future, because jealousy will always be your partner and he will eventually get tired of this.
3. Make an appointment with your jealous thoughts
That’s like a version of a “time out” when you feel overwhelmed by a person in your life (an attractive co-worker or an ex-girlfriend), you can do a mental exercise that could help you overcome jealousy and cope better. . with that.
Making a date with your jealous thoughts works like this: Observe the moment when the jealous thought appears, then spend 20 minutes concentrating on it, and then move on. After a while, if it’s the same thought, you will get bored or you won’t care anymore.
4. Ditch your toxic habits
Facing jealousy by constantly questioning him or checking his phone or stalking his ex-girlfriend on social media will actually make you feel more anxious (especially if you don’t find anything incriminating). So if you have any of these toxic habits, reevaluate them and if nothing good comes out of there, throw them out.
5. Give him the freedom he needs and deserves
A solid relationship is based on giving each other the freedom they deserve and need. You cannot impose freedom on your partner, so to overcome jealousy you will have to avoid too many restrictions.
6. Make sure your communication with him is strong.
Jealousy can arise from lack of communication and misunderstandings. Don’t let your mind run wild with irrational thoughts, it’s better to clear things up so you can be calm. Ask him about something that is bothering him, just don’t question him, ask in a way that leads to rational conversation.
7. “Glide” using the rubber band technique
If you are looking for a tactical way to deal with jealousy, this could be the solution. It hurts a bit but it could be effective. Put an elastic band around your wrist and when a feeling of jealousy begins to creep into your brain, break the elastic band. This snap could help you break out of the jealousy before they get over you.
8. Your imagination is powerful, but don’t let it dominate reality.
Jealousy is based on unfounded irrational thoughts that only live in your head. You need to let your rational mind dominate them. This is a fundamental point when it comes to overcoming jealousy. You may think that he is interested in another person, but that does not mean that he is, thought and reality are very different, learn to differentiate them.
9. Talk about your jealousy problems with a friend.
You need someone who can give you an outside perspective on your jealousy issues, and that’s where a good friend comes in handy. Talk to your friend or friends about what is happening, they can help.
10. If your jealousy occurs for a valid reason, take action
If it happens that he is really cheating on you and cheating on you, if you really have proof, do something about it. Your focus here should be on what to do: break away from it or work beyond it.
Conclution
Anger, suspicion, humiliation, possessiveness, low self-esteem, all of this is mixed with equal jealousy. That’s an ugly mix and if you let it it can threaten your personality, take over your mind, and destroy your relationship.
That is why attacking him before it is too late is crucial for you to have a healthy and happy relationship. Now you know what it is, what causes it, and how to deal with it, so attack it and don’t let it take over you or your relationship.