There is no quick and easy definition of an unhealthy relationship, so it can be difficult to know if you are in one. There are many types of unhealthy relationships. An unhealthy relationship can be abusive, or it can be a relationship in which one person is gaining something while the other loses something. An unhealthy relationship can also mean that the two people’s personalities collide catastrophically. The signs of an unhealthy relationship can seem healthy to strangers and even to the people in the relationship. You have to take a step back and evaluate your relationship to see if it is unhealthy. These 25 Characteristics of Unhealthy Relationships can help you determine if you are in an unhealthy relationship and give you some tips on how to fix it or get out.
Physical abuse
One of the signs of an unhealthy relationship is physical abuse. Some characteristics of a physically abusive relationship are: 1. Your partner uses physical punishment when angry, such as slapping, hitting, shoving, or scratching. 2. Your partner grabs you hard enough to leave marks. 3. Your partner throws things in your direction during discussions with the intention of hitting you, regardless of whether the object hits its target. 4. Your partner uses force to get your attention, such as slapping or grabbing. 5. You or someone else has called the authorities because of your partner’s physical abuse. If a relationship is physically abusive, there is no way to fix it. Their relationship is not healthy beyond the point of healing. There are no types of physical abuse that are acceptable in a relationship,
Emotional/mental abuse
Another type of characteristics that can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship is emotional or mental abuse. The definition of emotional / mental abuse is harmful words or actions intended to harm a person mentally rather than physically. Some signs of this type of abuse that would mean that the relationship is not healthy are: 6. Using silent treatment to show power and make the other person feel inferior. 7. Your partner calls you and insults you. 8. Your partner uses condescending language toward you to make you feel small and insignificant. 9. Your partner tells you that you are worthless and that you are not loved. 10. Your partner constantly insults your physical appearance. Like physical abuse, mentally abusive relationships are extremely unhealthy. If you feel like you want to try to fix this type of relationship, discuss with your partner how to end the hurtful comments and behavior. You may need a third party to help with this, such as seeing a counselor or therapist. However, if you identify with any of the above characteristics, it may be better to find a relationship in which emotional abuse has never been present, and you don’t have to worry about your partner relapsing into this unhealthy behavior.
Outside vs inside the house
Behavior that changes depending on whether you are alone or not is another sign that the relationship is not healthy. The characteristics of this type of behavior are: 11. Your partner holds your hand in public when there are people to see, but will not do it in private / without an audience. 12. Your partner only kisses you in public. 13. Physical affection of any kind, including touching, hugging, and snuggling, is limited to public places. 14. Your partner uses pet names for you in public, but only calls you by your name, or a bad word, in private. 15. Your partner will act accommodating and understanding in public, but will be argumentative in private. 16. You feel that your public personality with your partner is false or manufactured to please people. 18. Your partner expects you to be fully armed when you are in public and gets angry if you wear comfortable clothing that must remain indoors. 19. Your partner only wants to see you in public and never wants to spend time at your home (or home), so your relationship seems to exist just to keep up appearances. 20. Or, your partner only wants to see you in private and never in public, so it seems that your partner is ashamed of you.
Confronting personalities
The definition of a healthy relationship is one in which two people happily and peacefully coexist and can rationally discuss and conclude arguments. An unhealthy relationship can happen when two people don’t fit in well with each other. Two different types of personalities coming together can work in some way, but it can often lead to an explosive and unhealthy relationship. The characteristics of the confronting personalities are: 21. A small argument, like where to have dinner, turns into a great disaster in which both go over old arguments and join with accumulated problems that they did not discuss before. 22. You don’t want to spend time together because you are not interested in the same things. 23. You cannot have important arguments because your partner refuses to pay attention to the conversation. 24. They are happier when they are not together. Your relationship feels like a burden because it has to be “on” all the time. 25. Your partner makes you feel guilty for not enjoying the things he does, but neither of you is trying to find mutual interests.
Characteristics of a healthy relationship
A healthy relationship is the opposite of an unhealthy relationship. You should never feel like you have to fix your relationship, even though healthy relationships take work. The job should be easy because they care about each other and the success of their relationship, so they are willing to compromise and consider each other’s feelings when discussing how to continue with their relationship. You and your partner must have mutual interests and being apart must be difficult. Still, both of you should have your interests and hobbies so you don’t depend on each other for entertainment and happiness. A healthy relationship may have some of the above characteristics, but it shouldn’t have many of them. The characteristics that are present from above in a healthy relationship must be worked on by both people in the relationship. A relationship is a partnership and part of what makes relationships unhealthy is that only one person is working. An unbalanced relationship is an unhealthy relationship.
Can I fix my unhealthy relationship?
If your unhealthy relationship shows characteristics of physical abuse, it is irredeemable. Physical abuse is unacceptable and you will never feel completely safe if these characteristics are present. As mentioned above, if your unhealthy relationship has characteristics of mental abuse, professional help and discussions about how to prevent this type of behavior can help fix the problem. Otherwise, abusive relationships, in general, must be left behind. This is not an easy decision to make and leaving an abusive relationship can be very difficult, but it is important to both of you that this type of unhealthy relationship ends as soon as possible. The other characteristics listed above may be reversible if only a few are present in the unhealthy relationship. Many of the personality problems you can solve by sitting down and talking about the things you are looking for in a relationship and the things you like to do. Often times, even people with conflicting personalities can find common ground. If love is there, it’s worth giving it a try to turn your unhealthy relationship into a healthy one. Problems involving a public person versus a private person are a bit more difficult to deal with. However, it is not impossible. Talking about physical things, like why your partner will only kiss or touch you in public, can help. Maybe being around people makes your partner less shy? Maybe he or she is worried about how you will react when you are in private? Open communication is extremely important in relationships, and good seated conversation can reverse many of these unhealthy characteristics.
Ending an unhealthy relationship
If an unhealthy relationship is not fixable, ending it is the best option for both of you. It’s never easy to break up with a partner, especially one you’ve been with for a while. However, if you’ve started to notice unhealthy features that have always been there under the surface and you’re not sure it’s worth fixing, or can even fix, what you need to do is break down. The first step is to have a conversation. Excluding physically abusive relationships where this could be dangerous, asking your partner to sit down with you to discuss the unhealthy parts of your relationship will help facilitate the breakup. Once you have voiced your complaints, you and your partner are likely to feel a lot of emotions. Anger, fear, sadness. Their relationship was probably important to both of them. However, you must be strong and try to make your partner understand that this is the best. Both of you will be happier in healthy relationships that don’t require a complete overhaul. After the breakup, cut ties with your ex. Being friends can be tempting, but it will only lead to trouble. If both of you are single again in the future, you risk falling back into the unhealthy relationship you just escaped from. A clean breakup with no friendship between you is the best way to go. You risk falling back into the unhealthy relationship you just escaped from. A clean breakup with no friendship between you is the best way to go. You risk falling back into the unhealthy relationship you just escaped from. A clean breakup with no friendship between you is the best way to go.
Is my relationship unhealthy?
If only one or two of the above features apply to you, you’re probably fine. You may want to start one of the discussions mentioned above, but your relationship is still pretty healthy. However, if many (or all) of the above characteristics ring true for your current relationship, it is the definition of an unhealthy relationship, and you need to figure out how to fix it or end things once and for all.