The timeline and stages of recovery from an emotional affair
Once you realize that your spouse is having an affair, you feel frustrated, upset, sad, and angry. You can choose to terminate the commitment or repair it. Whichever way you choose, you will undergo several phases of recovery that include the following:
1. Phase one (1 to 6 months)
During this phase, you are excited, in shock, and stressed. You often ask a lot of questions and try to figure out what you were not doing right so that your spouse will cheat on you.
At this point, your sense of judgment diminishes and you are unable to make rational decisions. You lose your appetite and may lose weight or gain a lot of weight if you are the type who eats a lot when stressed.
It is essential to keep your close friends close to help you with your decision-making at this time. They are the people who allow you to cry and listen to yourself without judging yourself.
The cheating spouse is also adjusting and trying to make you forgive. Guilt and shame are written on their faces and they can’t look at you or your friends.
2. Phase two (6 months to 1 year)
You have shaken off most of the anger and are now ready to begin healing. During this time, you will try to understand why your spouse had an affair. You will find a starting point if your goal is to save your marriage.
At this point, if you’ve had enough pain during your first phase, you can make decisions on your own. People will give you different opinions on what to do, but you decide.
It is not an easy phase since most of the time, you will want to stop trying every time you remember the adventure. You keep feeling like your spouse will do it again, but don’t stop trying.
When the burden is too much for you, don’t hesitate to seek help from professional trainers. However, be careful who you give your heart to, lest you become the topic of discussion in people’s mouths.
3. Phase three (1 to 2 years)
It is the final and longest phase of recovery. Despite being the last, it could take longer as trust takes time to recover. Things may start to get better, but they will never go back to normal. There will always be that feeling of betrayal.
During this phase, it is critical that both of you establish the vision for your relationship. It will help you regain trust and find out if you both share the same commitment to saving your union.
Recovery retreats for matters that are worth your time
4. Marriage retreat
They are the kind that you and your spouse plan and attend to. They are usually intensive and help you connect emotionally. There are two types of marriage retreats. Religious and non-religious retreats. These retreats are more practical and go beyond communication skills.
Religious ministers are there to serve religious couples. Since these retreats are intensive, they require couples to put aside other activities for a while and dedicate their time to the retreat.
Therapists who participate in such retreats understand that recovering from such pain is not easy. Therefore, they offer you realistic solutions that go beyond the theories of an unfaithful spouse.
5. Weekend retreat
This type of retreat, as the name suggests, happens on weekends. It is not as long as a marriage retreat, but it is effective.
During this time, the couple goes to a private place away from family chores and children to be alone. They meet with coaches and other couples who are in the process of recovery. It is by sharing similar experiences with other couples that help speed recovery. Since the couple will find others who are about to get over their ordeal, they are likely to learn quickly and let go.
The weekend retreat includes vigorous activities during the day. These activities keep couples busy and prevent them from thinking. After a busy day, they can rest quietly for the night. Since weekend retreats don’t take much time, they make sure to maximize every minute.
6. Retreat for couples
The couples retreat involves couples who are married and those who have not yet married. It helps create a rich environment in which married people learn from singles and vice versa.
Unmarried couples act as a reminder of who the married one was when they were madly in love. On the other hand, married people serve as an example to singles and learn from their mistakes. Therefore, after marriage, they are not likely to make the same mistakes that their partners did.
The couples retreat takes place from time to time and they usually have a lot to offer. If you don’t have an idea of where to go for your retirement, this may be a good option for you to recover and heal.
7. Private retreats
It occurs in an eye-catching setting, with the presence of a counselor. During these retreats, couples participate in timed sessions, which generally occur weekly.
The length of each retreat depends on how quickly the couple is getting through the affair.
8. Adventure recovery workshops and retreats
They are planned retreats that take place over a few weeks. Couples go through several phases. At the end of each stage, they report on the important lessons and how they are practicing them.
By the end of these workshops, most couples are usually ready to rebuild what they lost in the adventure.
Recovering from an adventure takes a lot of effort, a willingness to heal, and help. If they are unwilling to heal, all help becomes a waste of time for others. With the tips here, along with the recommended books, you can recover from pain over time and learn to trust your partner again. Also, during this time, your partner is going through a period of regret and it would be helpful if both of you began the healing process together.