Why does he always reply to me but never text me first?

Bewildered and don’t like being the one to start all the time?

You don’t have to feel that way because you have an ego problem. It’s really annoying when guys instantly reply when you text them, but they’re never the first to do it. The height of frustration when he can go hours or days without texting or asking about you, but the moment you start the conversation, he acts like everything is normal. Could you question that he is only interested if you are?

How this affects your heart

There is no way a guy can start acting like this and you totally agree with that. A relationship is always two-way and when this balance is disrupted, here is how it can affect it:

Your expectations are crushed

Girls are obviously more emotional when it comes to expectations. It is because they put a lot of heart in relationship and are really more loving as well. Many of these cares often exceed extreme limits, which becomes a problem for themselves.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, because he will never be disappointed.” – Alexander Pope

You become indecisive

It is quite normal for someone to start thinking about taking a step back when a man starts acting like this. You think that every time you send a text message, you could hurt your ego or feel ignored and insecure.


This single word has turned into a pain without even realizing it. Even if nothing is really the problem, you keep repeating the same thing that bothers you, over and over again in your head. So even small things turn into big disasters and you just turn into collateral damage.

That’s an important conclusion to jump to, especially if you’ve already made a lot of progress in your relationship. When everything is going well and you suddenly stop texting first, this could mean a red flag. But you can’t just end your relationship based on this one change in behavior. You should also look at other signs before excluding it from your life. Maybe there’s a lot more to it than you already know, so labeling it ‘not worth it’ won’t help.

10 reasons why you respond quickly but don’t initiate messages

The struggle is real, dealing with all those thoughts of why he doesn’t text you first. Are you mad at me? Is something bothering you? Does this mean it’s over? Oh, the disappointment. But let’s clear up this maze with these 10 reasons why it acts that way:

1. You are worried at the moment

If you are a considerate person, this reason is enough to reassure you that he is interested in you, but is simply busy right now. He will continue to respond to you because he does not want to lose contact, but other priorities such as work, family, pets, etc. They pull him over a bit and can’t find a window to sit back, relax, and text you first. .

2. You just don’t like texting

It would be very unfair to judge a guy who is not a general text person. Yes, that’s possible because guys often just text to plan meetings and say something important. There’s no other way around it if a guy says he doesn’t text, believe it. If you try to force him to change, things will probably end badly.

3. You are afraid of embarrassing yourself.

It really takes a bad experience for a man to lose self-confidence. You may think he’s not texting because he’s arrogant, but the reason could be that he’s too shy. These guys especially respond immediately because they really want to talk to you, but don’t know how to get started. Rather than waiting to text you first, you can understand your situation and help you get past your worries.

4. He is an introvert

Introverts live their life in fear of being judged literally for anything they do. One second is all it takes to get them out of your head. So blaming someone like that is not going to work. All they need is a comfortable environment, it will take them some time to completely trust you and open up to you. If you start misbehaving and hit him for not texting first, he will only push him away.

5. Has mixed feelings

Boys don’t understand what girls want and they don’t realize what they want themselves. As girls, you can also start to overthink a simple topic like, What if I text first and seem needy? Would it be too sticky if I texted him first? Do you need your space? Would she sound desperate if I keep texting her? What if he gets angry? Surprising, right? But men have these little emotions too, keep them in mind.

6. You may be too harsh

If it’s a relationship, of course it could be because of something you did. Girls tend to have outbursts of anger, and constant complaints can upset almost anyone. If this is persistent, then there is a chance that a guy will start avoiding you because you probably have something to fight for. Why would anyone want to speak up in the first place when that will bother them?

7. He doesn’t do it because you do.

In love, you always want to keep talking to that person, especially in the beginning. You want to know where he is, what he is doing, what he had for lunch, etc. But in doing so, you get him used to getting these messages that he doesn’t feel the need to ask you these questions first. This is innocence on both sides, but there comes a time when you realize that you are the only person who cares enough to send a text message first. That is not the case. He cares, but he’s not used to this.

8. He’s playing hard to get

Now this is something you may be angry about but also a little worried. Some guys like girls who chase them and want them to be worth coming true. There could be two explanations behind this, or he wants more efforts on your part to be serious and grumpy, so the quotes are based on a strong bond. Or is he just a normal playboy who has a long list of ex-boyfriends. If it’s the last one, run away.

9. He doesn’t like you that much

Hard to accept, but this bitter reality could help you save your heart and dignity one day. This shouldn’t be your first thought, but clinging to the idea that constantly texting her is enough to make her like you is dangerous. Maybe they don’t realize you’re there and only remind them when you text them. He will respond instantly because he likes the attention and doesn’t want to get into all that drama of letting go.

10. You are interested but not ready to commit

The ‘C’ word that all guys fear, compromise. The reason he keeps responding is that he likes you. But why not text first? Because you probably think it is a step towards a very serious relationship with no escape routes. You might also be interested in someone else, maybe you’re spending time texting him first. Don’t jump into this, but it is a possibility.

What’s next for you?

Ladies, there is always advice when it comes to men. Never lose your dignity. Even if you are madly in love with him, don’t spoil him. Do your worth and be confident. Let him come to you, be patient. In a relationship, you can be politely open about all of this. Communicate with him, you deserve to know all the reasons for his actions that hurt you.

If you’re in a bad situation, that’s okay. We are humans. You deserve someone who knows how to respect you and treat you well. But don’t be rude when finishing things, maybe he’s the one, but you couldn’t see through him.


So yeah, dealing with men and their enigmatic brains is tough, but when you put a little time into it and think about it, it can be a lot. So don’t get sad too soon, just talk to him, tell him how you feel and both of you can work things out rationally, for better or for worse.