Have you been disappointed before by something you expected but fell short?
Men are peculiar creatures. They can be loyal, intelligent, emotional, loving, but goofy, carefree, derpy, and can be insensitive at times. One thing about men is that they can’t seem to pick up clues. You would think that your clues are obvious enough that no one could miss them.
Believe it when I say that a guy just doesn’t get the clues. It must have happened to you too. Passing by a traditional gift shop and hinting that it would be nice to have a dream catcher for your birthday present, he ended up gifting you a fluffy Zara scarf.
You couldn’t tell what went wrong, your tracks were perfect. They are men. Most of the time, men wish you could tell them what you want instead of wanting them to guess. Being honest doesn’t reveal the surprise or spoil the fun. It just makes life easier.
Why Men Just Can’t Get Clues (Even The Obvious)
The defense mechanism works strongly in a man. There are times when you probably guessed what you wanted and couldn’t be more wrong and got scolded to the face. Men choose to ignore clues because they don’t know how to guess. If you say curry smells good, does that mean you want me to make you curry tonight, or is that just a statement?
Men get confused when girls seemingly drop 100 hints a day. They don’t know which one to choose and when they do, it’s probably the wrong one, and the girls will think they suck at picking up clues. Men then simply choose not to accept suggestions to protect themselves from making more mistakes. After all, you can’t do anything wrong if you don’t do it at all, right?
For the most obvious, men understand your clues but choose to ignore them because it’s not something they want to do. You keep giving clues about wanting a puppy, your man pretending not to understand that clue even though it is so obvious because he never wants a puppy. Your man might not be stupid for not getting hints, he’s probably ignoring them on purpose.
15 things men want you to tell them
Stop saying it would be nice to go to a Beyonce concert or stay at a beachside hotel. Approach him and make it clear. In a man’s mind, if you don’t say something clearly, there is still a chance for him. He is planning something that he thinks is a surprise without knowing that you already have a scenario in mind.
Every time he asks you how to celebrate your anniversary and you say you don’t know, you are not hinting at him, you are giving him permission to be creative and he will be as creative as you hate.
2. Birthday celebration
“Awww, I don’t need anything for my birthday other than you.”
Trust me, this is all you will get, period. Don’t say things you don’t want to. Do you want a great celebration with friends and family? Tell him so he can fix it. Don’t trust a guy to plan your surprise birthday celebration when you told him you didn’t want one.
Guys rarely say things they don’t mean, so it is difficult for them to understand a girl who always says things they don’t mean.
3. Date night
Date night is the second closest thing to makeup for girls. You want a date night and guys don’t mind giving it to you, they just don’t know you’ve been longing for it. Suggestions like “we haven’t spent much time together” or “it would be nice to have a night to ourselves” will only get you a date at McDonald’s.
For him, it’s just you, snuggling with him. You wouldn’t take it seriously and think it’s time for a real date. It’s frustrating, but if you don’t want to be disappointed, you’d better write a guidebook for him to follow.
The argument of the century.
“What do you want for dinner?”
“I don’t care baby. Your choice.”
“Let’s do Thai.”
“I don’t feel like eating Thai. It’s too oily. ”
“Let’s do Italian.”
“No, we had it yesterday. Maybe something new. ”
“… how … Chinese?”
“Nope. Your choice babe. What other thing?”
Sounds familiar. This has happened to every couple on the planet. In their defense, it’s not a great clue to tell the other person to choose when you obviously have a preference. He cannot automatically know what you prefer for dinner tonight. That is a common thing with girls. We tell the other person that we don’t care when we really do.
You are on a diet and you want to stay away from sweets. However, you are craving ice cream in a low-key way, so when your man goes shopping, you pretended you didn’t want any ice cream, but the truth is, you want him to bring you ice cream. So you are disappointed when he came back without ice cream.
Yes, that is something that also happens often. And your man doesn’t know why you’re so upset. You said you didn’t want it to begin with. No backs. You said no yourself.
6. Household chores
Some girls tend to do all the housework when their boyfriend is around, hoping that their boyfriend will stop them and do it for them. That is something that will happen in Hollywood movies, never in real life. Your boyfriend will only appreciate the fact that you are doing housework. But they won’t help you unless you ask.
7. Take care of the baby
You want your man to help you change the diaper and everything. For him, he’s had a long day at work so naturally that he would think it’s your job to do it. Most of them will be happy to help, but only if you tell them you need help. Otherwise, they are also tired. Don’t blame your man for not helping when you never asked for help.
If you are the housewife and he is the worker, understand also that he does not come to you to solve his tasks, so it may happen that he does not realize that he should be helping you. Just ask him to help you instead of getting angry.
8. Clean up at family gatherings
You want him to be presentable and he thinks it’s just family, he doesn’t have to look fancy. There is literally no point in leaving clues in this situation. Just tell him you want him to wear the suit because it’s a fancy restaurant, even if it’s “just for the family.”
9. You don’t want to go out tonight
It doesn’t matter if it’s with your friends. You are tired and you don’t want to go, stop trying to imply that you are tired. Lie down on the bed and say that you don’t feel like going and that if he wants to go, he can. Don’t make it sound like he’s unsympathetic and forces you to go when you never fully let him know that you don’t feel like going out tonight.
10. You don’t like the way he raises children
Role models are a thing, for boys, not for grown men. You can’t just show your man how you want children to be raised and expect him to imitate you. He will do it his way. Talk to him if you have a problem with his parenting and make a list of the changes you want to make. Pouting alone is not good for you.
11. Come straight home after work
Sometimes your man has to socialize with colleagues and he can’t go straight home or take you with him. It can be frustrating. Ask him about his day and tell him that you want to be there for him or that if he can find time to come home earlier more often.
12. Make a choice
When you want your man to choose your outfit and he tells you that you look equally impressive in both, it’s because he’s afraid of offending you. He won’t get mad even if you say he looks ugly in an outfit because he really needs your opinion on this. This is not a trick question.
13. You don’t want to do something
Whether you’re planning a trip, meeting your family this weekend, or partying, no one should be making you do anything you don’t want to. Let him know that you are not feeling well. Letting him guess how you feel will only make you feel like he’s numb because chances are he won’t pick up the clues and the plan will move on.
14. Stop talking so much
It’s cool and all he wants to share is his past with you, but you don’t really need to know how sweet he was to his ex. That part can be left out.
15. Be honest!
Guys always think they have to guess what we want and are afraid to be honest because they don’t want to bother us. All you need to know is that with all the guesswork, it’s good to let the truth out. If you have something to say, say it. No one should guess what the other person thinks. It goes both ways.
Men are always confused about what we want. You just have to tell them instead of letting them guess. Are you more comfortable and relieved now that you know that men are simple creatures who prefer honesty? Your mind doesn’t work the same way we do. They never intended to hurt anyone, they didn’t even think it would be painful. Don’t blame them. Now that you know, you can be honest with them and everything will work out just as well as it should have been.