Narcissism is a toxic personality type that is based on the idea that nothing is bigger and better than oneself. Narcissists tend to undermine everyone around them to ensure that their delusions that they themselves are the highest and most powerful that even their own family and friends are not shown to be wrong. These people rarely form a bond of friendship and affection and are more focused on emerging as the winner in a power struggle and self-made competition. Being in a relationship with such toxic people can be detrimental to your well-being, especially if they continue to deceive their partners into believing that they are not valuable and insignificant. The company of narcissists can leave you very emotionally drained, which can have a negative impact on your mental health.
10 sure signs you have narcissistic people in your relationships
1. They always talk about themselves
A narcissist’s favorite topic of discussion is themselves. Whether they’re at a family gathering or at a bar, they make sure to show off how kind or rich they are, how wonderful they are in bed or with those around them, and how they stand out in everything they do. They imply that they are unparalleled in whatever their field of work, even when this is all a hoax and unhealthy exaggeration. The purpose of going this far in self-admiration is to attract unwavering attention and belittle everyone around them, without having a shred of remorse.
2. They are always competing
If they drive on a busy road, they will turn the whole thing into a race to outrun anyone who tries to pass them or stay ahead of them in the lane. If a nearby car plays loud music, they will risk the health of their own speakers and the safety of their driving to blast their songs at the loudest volume to taunt the other passengers. They hate waiting their turn in line and tend to overestimate their importance by showing their privileges to strangers only to present themselves as the best in a non-existent competition.
3. They act differently when they are alone than when they are in public.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is toxic because of how different they show themselves to other people, while in their personal space they treat their partners in the worst possible way. The spouses of such vile people are afraid to open up about their problems to other people because their narcissistic partners have spoken and acted in front of them in a way that suggests they are the epitome of kindness. Their affection also increases suddenly when they realize that there are people watching them with their partners, even if they are physically and emotionally abusive in their rooms.
4. They make fun of you for who you are
It doesn’t matter if it’s your career or your home life, they always find fault with the way you run things. They may even stoop so low that they make fun of your appearance, the way you speak, and the way you walk, making you feel unloved. Even if you try to make amends and go crazy to fit their definition of perfection, they won’t be satisfied or find a way to point out your flaws. They are simply insatiable because anyone other than them is not worthy of any appreciation and they feel that there is no one who is like them in the entire universe, so nothing can be done to appease them.
5. They make you feel helpless
If you try to take control of something, even in your own life, they will always look for a way to show you how you are not capable of doing certain things for yourself and for them. You can put the whole world at their feet and fulfill each of their wishes to make them happy; They will still make sure you don’t get the recognition you are trying so hard to achieve. No matter how much effort you put into the relationship and environment between you and a perfected narcissist, the chances of you making them happy are very bleak.
6. They invalidate your feelings every time they get the chance.
Whenever you express some kind of emotion, they don’t give you the validation and attention that you deserve. They make your depression seem very normal and routine; They may find fault with your joy and even not pay attention to a physical ailment, exhibiting very dismissive behavior because they are incapable of feeling anything but their own false greatness. In fact, many narcissists believe that emotional expression is anathema and a sign of potential weakness, making them immune to experiencing and acknowledging the full spectrum of human feelings.
7. They make you question your decisions
Regardless of whether you seek their advice on an issue or not, they will always step in to give their own opinion on a decision you may be making, guaranteeing that they will spoil it for you. They will continue to dish out the worst possible results of your actions and plans, causing you to hesitate. Basically, they want to be the person you trust to a great extent for even the most nominal matters. So if you ever have the guts to decide something on your own, they will see it as a challenge and leave no stone unturned for you to do things the way they want them done, regardless of the degree to which they affect them. and how they will affect you.
8. They play the victim when the evidence goes against them.
When you finally have all the arguments and evidence that go against narcissists, they will emotionally blackmail you until you give up and walk away. They hate being called and there is nothing worse than being insulted so blatantly. Whenever they get caught red-handed, they use their weaknesses to manipulate it through their emotions and their understanding of how it operates. If they realize that you are a very sensitive person, they will play the most credible role of a regretful and sad person. They know which buttons to push to make you forgive them over and over again.
9. They light you up with gas
During a fight, they will bring up points that are irrelevant but are very helpful in diverting your attention from the problem at hand and focusing on your own fouls. If the problem is something that happened recently, they will expose some wrong that you could have done years ago in order to paint yourself as the criminal. This effect will eventually make you kneel in front of a narcissistic teacher who does not respect you.
10. They have no respect for the limits you may have set.
If they know that there are certain limits that you hate being transgressed, they will make sure they do it in a very visible way to make you feel bad and depressed. They get pleasure from violating their principles and limits. This is a more troublesome act in public, where they make all the jokes and point out all the things that you feel insecure about in front of other people because they know you won’t put on a show in front of other people. Things like this can be very painful and break it.
Tips on how to deal with them
- Make it clear how they treat you so they know that you are not someone who would tolerate abuse in silence.
- Take them to a psychiatrist to help them deal with their flaws if they really want to be with you.
- Call them in public the moment you feel like they are changing their personality to hide the toxic person they really are, so that your loved ones can recognize the pattern to support you when needed.
- Keep a journal to clear the fog they create to cloud your mind. Writing things down will help you stay in touch with yourself in case they do manipulate you until you can find the means to quit.
- Leave without thinking twice. Remember that no person is self-reliant. Sometimes what you call love is just a mere act of sympathy that you are enduring because a narcissist makes you believe that they will not prosper without you.
Living with a narcissist can be a self-made hell and the longer you stay there, the harder it will be to come out as the same person you were when you first walked in. It is okay to have misread the signs and not realize what is happening to someone until you are too involved with them; Narcissism has a facade of pretty two shoes that takes a while to come off to reveal the ugly reality of people with this personality disorder.
Make the right decisions and don’t be a slave to someone else’s ego. Sometimes breaking up with certain people actually means breaking free from a vicious cycle of abuse and self-deprecation, but it’s never too late to take a step in the right direction.