Do couples with a large age difference usually work?

We can fall in love at any stage of life, but there are concerns as long as the age difference between the participants in the relationship is noticeable. Everything concerning relationships is full of romanticism and concepts full of idealism.

In reality, for a relationship to work many factors intervene, which sometimes go beyond the people who make it up. If one of the most important aspects is age, can couples with a large age difference function well?

If couples are many years apart, are they doomed to failure?

The popular belief is that couples with a marked age difference simply don’t work out. And this could be very true if you consider that in reality, the viability of a stable partner responds to a number of factors, including age.

However, by itself, age is not a determining factor for a love relationship to work or to fail, although there are considerations about continuing to live with someone that takes us many years. We explain what factors exist and can play a relevant role in this type of relationship.

How much is a big age difference?

The first point to analyze is what they refer to with a wide age difference. For some people, the ideal relationship occurs when the man is 3-5 years ahead of the woman. Others consider that they should be carried no more than two years.

In the West, it is said that it is not a good idea to be with someone who is less than half our age plus seven years. For example, if we are 38 years old, we should not be with someone under 26. This could be a valid (albeit arbitrary) parameter to determine if a couple has spent many years with each other.

If a couple has been together for more than 10 years, is it possible that they can have a successful relationship? Do they have a chance to prosper? Can they last for many years together or does it only function as something temporary? We comment here on the general expectation of this type of relationship.

1. Social judgments

One obstacle faced by couples with great age differences in social judgments. It is a subject that continues to be complex and taboo, so that couples are exposed to mistrust, especially on the part of their respective family and friends.

This is even more noticeable if the woman is older than the man. Despite growing gender equity, this is an issue where women are not judged in the same way as men. The most well-known recent case is that of 41-year-old President Emmanuel Macron and his 66-year-old Brigitte Trogneux wife.

2. Different objectives

The goals we have to vary according to the decade in which we find ourselves. This is very common because during our 20’s we yearn for very different things than when we are already in our 40’s or more.

This can cause conflicts if there is not correct communication and adequate empathy. The goals of both are just as important and even if the older one has already been there and might downplay it, if they want everything to work out, they must empathize and understand the plans of those who are younger.

3. Living with their offspring

If one or both have children, age can make the matter more complex. Especially when the children are roughly the same age range as that of the younger couple, this creates conflict for everyone involved.

It is undoubtedly a delicate issue because when children feel invaded by a new relationship with their father or mother and this is also their age, it usually generates confusion and conflict in the case of a stage that is sometimes complex to overcome.

4. Energy

In the youth stage, you have a lot of energy to carry out many plans and activities. It is undoubtedly one of the best characteristics of young people. They have the drive and energy to do many things and they never seem to tire.

But as the years go by, the energy is no longer the same. Hardly someone over 40 could keep up with a person over 20. Working, partying, exercising, studying, and traveling are activities that could be limited by not combining the rhythms of both.

5. Health

In general, people tend to get sicker the older they get. Although this is not a decisive rule, there are certain conditions that statistically appear more frequently after the age of 30.

While many young people are in very good health that allows them to do everything without stopping. But if your partner continually has aches or pains, this could be a deterrent. As long as there is understanding on both sides, this is something that could be overcome.

6. Having children

If one does not have children and is of childbearing age while the other does not, the issue can complicate the relationship. This occurs when one partner is very young, while the other party is nearing the end of their reproductive life.

Although men can have children even though they are older, it may be that they are simply not willing to have more children. Although at first, it seems that it can be overcome, on many occasions over time it becomes an insurmountable border for the relationship.