How to improve communication as a couple: 10 keys to success

Communication is essential for our relationship to function, however, it does not always go completely well; There are things that we do not dare to say or that we prefer to omit to maintain harmony, without taking into account that this can drive us away and even damage our relationship.

The truth is that many times we do not know how to improve communication as a couple, how to dare to speak and say what we think freely so that our relationship goes better. But do not worry, there are certain tricks that we are going to teach you so that communication with your partner is better and better.

Why is communication important in the couple

Communication as a couple is key so that the two people involved in the relationship are clear so that each one knows what the other likes, what they need and what they don’t, what they expect in certain situations, what they are willing to give or in what is willing to happen because, if many times it is difficult for us to understand ourselves, imagine what happens when there is another involved.

The important thing that we know how to communicate with our partner is that there is no room for assumptions; to wait for the other to “do” or “know” or “say”, which become a ball of demands that in the end, not even we are clear about what we ask of our partner.

When this happens, the annoyances start the endless discussions because they do not know clearly why they argue. If we cannot communicate, these are communication problems that can harm our relationship and ourselves.

10 keys to improve communication as a couple

Now, if you are reading this article, it is because surely you have things to say to your partner that you have known us how to say, or on the contrary, you have not known how to listen.

The good thing is that they have detected that there is a failure in their communication and with these tricks we teach you how to improve communication as a couple so that they live a much healthier relationship.

1. Be clear with yourself

If you want to know how to improve your communication as a couple, you should know that the first step is with you. Before talking and communicating something, take some time for yourself, to really think about what it is that you want from your relationship, what you expect, what you need, or what you don’t. You need to be clear with yourself about all aspects of your relationship, and one of those aspects is you.

This taking time to think, you should practice it whenever there are things to talk about, but especially now that your mission is to improve communication as a couple. Have a moment of introspection to think about everything that is part of your relationship, including your partner.

2. Listen to your partner

The most assertive communication occurs when we really learn to listen, and it happens many times that we believe that we are listening to who is speaking.

But the truth is that while we listen we already have a lot of answers and arguments for when it is our turn to speak. What happens at this point is that you are not really listening to the message and that your partner may probably feel little understood or validated by you.

Take time to really listen to your partner and reflect on their words, without giving a quick response and without thinking about the usual arguments. If necessary, take some time to reflect (and if you want, tell your partner), especially when you are talking about critical issues for you.

3. Out with the interpretations

In line with the above, the secret to improving communication as a couple is to put aside the interpretations. If you have doubts about what he said, ask him so that the two are located on the same page.

At the same time, make sure that your partner has understood the message you gave him and that there is no room for interpretation, because from there, from the interpretation that is subjective, is where many of the problems come from.

4. Understand that your partner doesn’t have to guess everything

It also happens, especially when time has passed in the relationship, that we trust the other to know, or simply guess, what we are thinking, feeling, or wanting. Well, nothing is further from reality: perhaps with the drink you are going to order or with dinner, but certainly not with your emotions and not with your thoughts.

This does not mean that they do not know each other, but keep in mind that people are constantly evolving, that our way of thinking sometimes changes, that what we like today maybe not tomorrow, so you have to let your partner know from love.

5. Zero aggressiveness

If the situation is difficult and there is no understanding, it is better to leave the conversation for another day, because anger, irritability, rage, and aggressiveness do not allow us to think consciously, much less listen.

We can say things that we can regret and hurt each other, making things even worse. Aggression will never be a way to improve communication as a couple.

6. Speak from love and empathy

Sometimes in the most difficult moments, we forget that if we are together it is because love unites us. In communication that should also be the feeling that guides our words, love for ourselves and for our partner, to say the right things and listen carefully to the other.

But also, to improve communication as a couple, it is essential that we have empathy at all costs. Feeling empathy means that we are capable of feeling what the other feels, of understanding and putting ourselves in their place. When we have a conversation from empathy, situations are resolved faster because we are able to understand from where the other person is speaking to us.

7. Couples can disagree

A mistake that is quite common is to think that communication is adequate only when we agree, but the truth is that couples are made up of two independent people with different points of view that may coincide at times and not at other times.

How to improve communication as a couple? It begins by accepting the other person’s point of view, as well as accepting that couples may disagree and yet come up with solutions that both feel comfortable and listened to.

8. Talking is not demanding

Returning to the importance of active listening, when we start a conversation with our partner, we must take the other into account, so speaking is not demanding or demanding what we consider to be appropriate or what only we need. The relationships are of two and therefore the situations and solutions must be of two and for two.

9. Choose the right time and place to communicate

It can happen that a conversation that is rather important starts at the wrong time, either when they are on their way to see friends or in the middle of another situation that does not allow them to express themselves well.

This can leave everything in the middle and free the other to interpret what we are saying (remember the third key on how to improve communication as a couple). When these moments present themselves, it is best to take a step back and leave the subject for the right time and place.

10. Good communication is also knowing what to communicate and what not

To finish with our keys to improving communication as a couple, a clarification: putting everything on the table at the moment of speaking does not mean that we have to communicate absolutely everything.

People, no matter how much we are in a relationship, we have our privacy and there are things that are not bad that are only ours, or that we keep certain things that have no relevance but that can make the situation worse.