“Because I hate my ex” is the most common thing to hear when you ask someone the reason for the distance between them . Phrases of hate to my ex, and other expressions, are the daily bread in interpersonal relationships. It is not that you are different, in fact you are just inside the usual.
Hate tends to grow when you are the most affected in the love breakup and everything worsens if your ex meets a new person or if he wants to return when you are already calm. Many feelings turn in our stomach and that is why it is normal to hate it.
I feel disgusted by my ex it is also common to hear it, but where does it come from? What pushes us so much to continue on that route? We need to stop it as soon as possible for your sake.
In general, hatred comes from disenchantment, from feeling betrayed, or from being very dependent on these people, emotional attachment will always be the main cause of ” I feel anger towards my ex “, because you still depend emotionally a lot on him and you must change him.
Is it normal to feel hatred or disgust towards my ex?
Yes, it is normal; the abnormal happens when this feeling lasts for a long time . After a breakup, a grieving process begins, the second stage of which is that of anger. In this stage, very dense emotions arise that make you hate the whole situation you are experiencing.
The normal thing is that this feeling is experienced and then let go to successfully overcome the stage. At first you can hate how everything happened and even hate and feel repulsion towards your ex partner but this emotion should not last over time because otherwise it will become pathological and you will not be able to close the cycle of your relationship.
What to do if I feel anger towards my ex or disgust for my ex?
My ex resents me, it is the excuse for not admitting that many times we are the ones who hate him . We assume that their indifference and remoteness are grounds for hatred.
But not everything is always so radical, it may be that deep down if he wants to be with you and loves you, but there are things in the relationship that hurt and he runs away from that, but not from you. You must be ready to analyze all the possibilities.
So why does my ex hate me if he left me? If he left you then you must give him his space, let him realize by himself what he loses by being without you, but I present to you that if he is the love of your life and the breakup was due to a banality, then it is not that My partner resents me, it’s because the situations led to that mess and you can untangle it and make it come back .
But you must always give yourself time to think with a cool head, if all the hatred you think you feel is real, for something terrible that he did, then you must stop the bleeding in those wounds to be able to seek new horizons, staying engulfed in pain will only bring unnecessary suffering .
Reasons why I can’t stop hating my ex.
Perhaps the hatred and resentment you feel for your partner already seems strange to you and you can ask yourself; What is happening that I feel so much resentment? Well, there are several reasons to explain it and they all generate a different sensation but in the end they reach the same point, the pain . Feeling that pain fills anyone with helplessness and then anger is born.
You have not been able to forgive and get over the relationship
This becomes one of the main reasons. When a relationship has already been overcome, emotions do not appear and if they do they are not so strong, in any case from time to time only nostalgia could appear.
But when you still think that the relationship can continue and your partner does not think the same; the normal thing is that you fill with rage towards him.
You’re afraid to let your anger go
When a relationship is not profitable for our life and it becomes toxic, we cling to rage and anger to avoid relapsing into that relationship .
It is often thought that if we let all hatred go, our ex-partner will come to look for us and we will forgive him because love arises and the annoyance will be gone . This many times is what happens, but the problem is not because the anger goes away but because of the lack of courage to close that relationship once and for all.
You may be envious of their new relationship.
If it turns out that your ex partner has found a new partner and you are still in the healing process, you may feel some anger and envy. This makes you stay on the side of hatred towards your ex partner.
The best way to verify this is when your ex is single again and you inexplicably no longer feel that anger and hatred for him that you previously felt.
What to do if my partner resents me?
Do not fall into the absurd statement that if he hates me it is because he loves me , whoever loves you cannot hate you. Nobody can be hot and cold in unison, or is white or is black, but do not look for intermediate things, at least from the sentimental field.
Because you end up really hating your ex , and that does not leave you anything good, it consumes your spirit, it leaves your spirit dry. You cannot lose your essence for anyone, and much less for anything that flagellates you.
Because I hate my ex-husband, much less can be present in your mind, detesting an ex-husband is worse than an ex-boyfriend because if they were married, it means that you not only regret him.
You regret everything you experienced, the past is past and you cannot regret the things that happened. If you do, you are doubly hurt, by the memory and by the guilt. If your mind is at peace nothing else matters.
Do not be your own executioner, it was not enough, what the world throws at you is not enough, you too are going to be throwing blows, who does not want to be in your life, then let him go, do nothing, let him go then. If it is real love, it will return without a doubt. Now if he does not return, you must meditate on the positive of everything that happened.
Keys that will help you stop hating your ex-partner
Because I hate my ex-husband and because I hate my ex-partner are the positions that keep us imprisoned in our own minds. Think that hatred is a cage and you keep yourself there. With great insistence and without wanting to open the bars.
Now if you have already decided to open the gates of that internal cloister that calms your senses, the initial step is simple, forgiveness. You must forgive yourself first of all, forgive yourself for letting others hurt you, but forgive him, if you do not forgive you cannot heal . To forgive is not to return or look for the other, it is only to stop allowing their memory to take away our sleep.
These guidelines will help you live the whole process in a better way and overcome all that resentment and hatred that far from giving you peace only fills you with resentment.
Vent your frustrations
Speak up, drain what you feel, don’t keep anything to yourself, express why you feel all that anger and you will see how it will go away little by little. You can seek an outlet in your friendships, talk to God, seek the help of a psychologist or just being at home talking to yourself.
The good thing about speaking and saying what you feel is that you become aware of everything you have hidden, that you try to leave in your unconscious and even many times pretend it doesn’t matter, something that will only burden you more and more.
Accept mistakes and what happened
Avoid looking to blame in everything that happened. Each person acts based on their feelings , hurts, emotions and way of seeing things. We all act for the good of ourselves, therefore there are no guilty of anything but responsible in every circumstance of life.
Both you and your ex partner are responsible for many things within the relationship, for better or for worse. Then analyze everything that happened , accept the mistakes made on your part and understand that he could also make his mistakes but do not judge him for that, just as you should not judge yourself either.
Take responsibility for your actions
When you analyze and realize the mistakes you have made, the next step is to take responsibility for them. Holding ourselves accountable means understanding why things were done and accepting that we acted due to the circumstances of the moment, regardless of whether the result was good or bad.
When you take responsibility for your actions you can release a little anger and hatred that is generated against your ex partner. All this happens thanks to the fact that you will not see him as the culprit of everything.
Do not stay with the bad of the relationship
Remembering only the bad is going to make you live in constant pain . It is not something healthy or productive, it is better that you keep the good things that you got from the relationship, maybe you can feel some nostalgia but it is better to feel that instead of hatred and resentment.
Ask for forgiveness or forgive
This is one of the most difficult steps to take. And if your ex partner has not apologized to you, it is even more difficult to do so. However, thinking about all the above keys you can reach a level of consciousness where you will simply decide to let go and forgiveness will come by itself.
During this entire process, if you feel the need to ask your ex partner for forgiveness then do it without thinking about what they will say or in a trial , we assure you that you will be liberated in an inexplicable way.
Learn to make amends
Reconciling with your ex partner does not mean getting back with him . It means offering a helping hand in order to close the cycle of the relationship and remain as 2 people who at some point in life shared wonderful things and grew up in company.
This attitude can lead to both being happier and in any need they can get support from the other, in the name of the love they once had.
What is Rebecca syndrome and why does it arise?
Rebecca Syndrome is defined as the psychological pathology in which a person feels obsessive jealousy for the ex-partner of his current partner . This jealousy puts the self-esteem of the person who suffers them at risk, which in their mind starts a kind of senseless competition to try to be better than their former partner and to please their current partner as much as possible.
This syndrome not only generates a problem at the psychological level of the person but also seriously affects the sentimental relationship due to the fact that fights and discussions are generated which sometimes can be based and other times not.
This syndrome arises when the person feels an irrational fear when he thinks that his partner is going to abandon him because he is not enough compared to his former partner, as well as the feeling that the love he had or has for that person is greater than he has her. All these doubts and thoughts cause the Rebeca syndrome to arise