In the world of dating, especially in the early stages of a relationship, when you’re just getting to know someone, it’s important to allow room for intrigue and seduction.
If everything is too easy, and too fast, the man (and the woman too) feels that there is not much to discover, and without the challenge, he could lose interest very quickly.
He does not feel his hero instinct activated and therefore does not develop a true commitment to you.
If you are a very infatuated and romantic woman, you run the risk of letting yourself be carried away by impulses and showing her too much, too soon.
But you could even be very carefree, and not particularly looking for a commitment, but still have attitudes that make him think he has you safe.
At that moment, the man, whether or not he is fully emotionally mature, could feel fear and even panic that you fall in love with him.
The idea is simple, when he perceives that the risk of a breakup is low, his romantic feelings can also be lower.
On the other hand, when a boy is afraid of losing you, he will be aware of you. He will be quite obvious by his attitude towards you.
That fear of losing you also means that he is really interested in you and probably even in love.
There are things you can do to get that feeling out of him and make him do as much for you as you do for him. He will want to avoid losing you. He continues reading to find out more.
The 7 things you must do so that a man does not feel that he has you safe
1) Do not be so available, do a self-reflection
Sometimes, you may not realize how aware you are of your guy. Think about it for a minute.
Here are some warning signs you should check:
- When you receive a message from him, do you respond instantly and wait for his response?
- Do you always say yes when he asks you out?
- Do you even change your plans when he tells you to meet?
- Do you do everything to please him?
- Do you write to him every day to hear from him?
- Don’t you have a social life apart from him?
- Do you not put any limits on what he wants and forget what you want?
These are some attitudes that will generate in him the feeling that he should not make an effort to have you.
He will feel that no matter what he does when he wants, you will be available.
And I’m not talking about playing games or playing hard to get. I would never recommend something like this (although there are many blogs that do).
Here the most important thing is that you understand that your time is worth as much as his.
That you can have good times even if they are not by his side and that you are with him because you choose him. Not because you need it.
When you have this clear, your bond with him will be transformed, I assure you.
2) Reevaluate the relationship
Now, it’s time to take the time to reflect on him and your relationship.
Do you think he is a person who is really worth fighting for? Or have they reached a point of no return?
Beyond the fact that he feels that he has you safe, is he a gentleman, who has the characteristics that you want in a partner?
It seems elementary, but sometimes you could get lost in your ego. And only want him because you feel like he ignores you and that you’re losing him.
He might not seem very interested, but is he really a person that interests you?
If he ran after you, would you like him the same?
Just like women dating married men, if they were to break up and be 100% for them, the attraction…would it be the same?
3) Find a life
Have fun on your own!
Remember all the things you did in the time you now spend with him.
I’m sure you didn’t stay home all day.
So, take up those activities that you are passionate about. The art course, the dance classes, the yoga in the park on the weekends.
There are so many activities you can do that will surely make you feel good.
In addition to making him see that he is not the only thing in your life, he will make you understand that there are many things you can enjoy without him by your side.
Independent time is essential for couples.
That each one enjoys their individual space with friends and outside the couple is key to a healthy and lasting relationship.
Also, when you don’t have as much time available, you’ll just stop thinking about everything so much.
Boredom can be a great destroyer of couples, don’t be the one to suffer!
You’ll stop asking him where he is all the time, and trust me he’ll notice.
4) Put yourself first and set limits
If you’re here, it’s probably because you tend to put others before yourself. You want to please everyone, even if that means giving up what you want.
So, something that will not be easy, but that you must do, is to start putting yourself first.
If you don’t mind going out to eat or staying home, tell him you want to have a different night. You do not have to impose yourself, just express what you want and maintain a certain firmness.
Don’t give in so easily to pressure, you have as much right as he does to want things you don’t agree on.
And the fair thing is that the two commit and give in from time to time to please each other.
You shouldn’t be the one always trying to do what he wants.
And contrary to what you might think, (and probably what he will tell you), it is surely something that he likes.
He will know what the rules of the game are and that will make him feel more comfortable with you.
If he is not clear about those rules, because you have not taken care to manifest them, he will feel confused and will never give you his best.
When you value yourself and are clear about what you want and what your limits are, you help your man feel the same way about you.
5) If necessary, take distance
The distance in the couple is something sometimes feared, but at the same time, it can result in something strengthening for both.
It doesn’t have to be something very serious and formal.
Perhaps there is a trip that you have wanted to do for a long time alone, but since you are in a relationship, you have suspended it.
This might be a good time to pick it up again.
Having time to miss each other and reconnect with yourselves can be very nourishing for the couple.
This way you will also give him the opportunity to notice all those little details of yours that he is used to and that perhaps he no longer values.
They say for a reason that you don’t value what you have until you lose it. Maybe you don’t have to go that far.
6) If all else fails, ignore him
If you have tried everything so that he notices that something is wrong and that you do not feel valued, but he does not acknowledge receipt, then it is time to be more radical.
Stop answering him and taking his calls for a while. He may get upset and ask you what the hell is wrong with you. But at least he will know that something has to change if he wants to stay with you.
I’m sure you don’t like putting yourself in a place of constant claim either. And let’s be honest, it doesn’t work if you have to be asking for the other’s attention all the time.
Men respond better to action, so if you stop replying to him, delay your responses, and send him a couple of monosyllables, he’ll know something’s up.
Maybe then he’ll decide to listen to what you’re feeling.
7) Let him take the lead
I know this will be difficult, surely you like this boy a lot and what you want is to spend all the time with him.
But if you feel like everything will fall apart the first moment you stop talking to him, then it’s no use.
Leave him the space to go in your search. Men need to feel challenged and that they have something to accomplish.
If he’s treating you like his option B, show him how it feels. Start making plans on your own and saying “no” more.
I know this scares you because you feel like you’re going to lose him, but trust me, if that happens it has nothing to do with your attitude but rather his lack of interest.
The sooner you understand it the better, you won’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t value you. And if he really cares about you, he will react.
3 Tools to not take you for granted
1) Write the reasons why you feel that he is not afraid of losing you
This is helpful if you’re the impulsive type, who finds it hard to articulate your thoughts.
It gives you time to think and re-evaluate your thoughts and attitudes.
Review them the next day and then the next and think about how to transform them.
2) Focus on yourself
Since you already suspect that he is not afraid of losing you, make a vision of what you want from your relationship. Think about how you would like to be treated by the man next to you.
Make a vision of what you want your life to be.
3) Talk to him
Most of the great challenges in relationships can be resolved with good communication.
Tell him what you really feel and what you want in a relationship. Establish your limits with him and tell him that you will not be there whenever he wants you.
If he doesn’t want to lose you, ask him if he’s willing to do the job. If he wants to get away, don’t stop him or chase him.
It hurts when you know that a man is not afraid of losing you, but don’t hurt yourself anymore by chasing him or waiting for him to come. It probably won’t happen.
Something has to change. And if he can’t make changes for you to make you feel loved, then he changes you.
You deserve the kind of love that makes you feel like you are irreplaceable.
Let’s continue with the reasons why someone could take you for granted, I leave you with 10 things that could be happening that you may not have recognized.
10 Very Obvious Signs That A Guy Is Not Afraid Of Losing You And Doesn’t Love You Anymore
You might have doubts about his feelings for you, but maybe you hadn’t realized that the problem was that he’s taking you for granted.
Sometimes you can do something to change the situation, but in others, it will be better to see reality in order to step aside and continue with your life.
Here are several signs that could confirm if this is what is happening with your guy.
1) You are doing most of the work from scratch
It takes two to tango.
For their relationship to work, both of them must put in the same effort, or at least almost the same, to maintain it.
Maybe you are the one who always takes the initiative because otherwise, he will never try to talk to you.
You are the one planning dates, giving gifts, and cooking meals.
Deep down you feel that if you stopped trying, your relationship would slowly die.
There’s a chance he’s just a lazy guy (and he’s actually afraid of losing you), but if he’s not doing his best, then he’s probably just not that interested in your relationship.
2) He is not afraid of hurting you
When you love someone and you are afraid of losing them, you will do everything you can to avoid hurting them.
In any case, seeing your loved one suffer in any way would hurt you twice as much.
If you are not afraid of hurting yourself, either physically or emotionally, then you need to step back and think.
Let go of any emotion you may have for him because it’s a sign that you might be in an abusive relationship.
If he keeps hurting you and you don’t see him trying to change his ways, he just doesn’t love you, even if he says he does.
Here you will find very good advice to forget someone who does not suit you.
3) He plays with your heart
He will ignore you if you do something he doesn’t like, or try to make you jealous if he ever sees you with another guy… even if that guy is just your cousin.
If he has ever played mind games with you, beware.
He knows that he is manipulating you and no man who really loves you would do that.
When a guy plays tricks and manipulative techniques on you, not only is he aware that he could hurt you, but he also knows that there’s a chance you’ll break up with him.
Maybe he’s sure you won’t leave him because he thinks you’re too in love with him, or maybe he doesn’t care about you that much so he’s willing to take the risk.
4) He is not consistent
He tells you that he loves you, but sometimes his actions and decisions say otherwise.
He says he likes to see you happy, but he doesn’t even give you gifts on special days when you tell him over and over again that it means a lot to you.
If you ever notice a disconnect between what he says and what he actually does, then chances are good that he’s just saying the right things, to keep you on his toes.
You could try to talk about it, but you are likely to find yourself with more of the same. He would deny it or make all kinds of big promises that he will break again.
5) He doesn’t really care about your needs
He doesn’t care if you felt abandoned, lonely, or sad.
She could give you a quick hug and then go about her business without a second thought.
Ask yourself this: If he cares about you, why would he neglect your needs?
Let’s say you have a car. Can you really say that you love that care and are afraid that it will break if you don’t even bother to maintain it or ignore the fact that it is falling apart due to rust?
If you really love someone, you’ll find ways to make them feel loved, whether it’s something obvious like having food delivered to your office on a busy day or something more basic like asking you about your day.
6) Does not want to go deeper
It doesn’t bother trying to understand the things you like and what gives meaning to your life.
Ask him if he knows your favorite color or your favorite food and he probably won’t be able to get it right.
If he was really interested in you and worried about keeping you by his side, he would seek to know you deeply and understand you.
I’d like to know about your childhood, your exes, how you see your future, and even why you dip your fries in ice cream.
If you notice that he isn’t curious, or doesn’t know you at all after dating for months, it’s probably because he really isn’t interested in you.
7) You are clearly not his priority
When you try to set up a date with him, he turns you down because it’s his game night with friends.
You try to suggest another day, but he tells you that he is too tired to go out, that he doesn’t know what his week will be like.
Of course, this is fine because we like independent men. (we don’t want our men to be too needy, do we?)
But he doesn’t even show any intention of arranging a time to meet. It seems like it will never happen. He just says “sorry I can’t” and then crickets!
You’re just not as high on his priority list, and he won’t be as devastated as you’d like if you let him.
8) He is not afraid to flirt with other girls
He can excuse himself by saying that it’s just “his personality” or that he’s just friendly, but if he really cares about your relationship, he would try to break that bad habit, for your sake.
I would be more considerate and think about the possibility of losing you out of jealousy.
If he does it anyway despite that risk, it means he just doesn’t care if you stay or go.
He probably has another girl in mind if you ever give up on him.
If he doesn’t care about your boundaries at all and instead says “take me or leave me,” he’s clearly okay with you leaving him.
9) Avoid talking about the future
He never talks about future plans and when you try to bring it up he will either try to ignore it or try to change the subject. You will also be able to notice how uncomfortable it gets.
Context matters, of course.
If you just started dating, then it might be rash for you to start talking about the future.
But if you’ve been together for months or even years, it would be strange if he kept avoiding talking about the future.
Maybe you just don’t want to commit, much less get married or have children. Or maybe you see the relationship as temporary.
10) He is “blind” to your emotions
It could be that you just aren’t dating a very sensitive person and he can’t really empathize with how you feel.
But if you have been together for quite some time, he should be able to detect if there is something wrong with you.
He recognizes them, but he doesn’t want to deal with your emotions.
Even if you feel sad all day, he can’t bring it up because he doesn’t want to go deeper.
Or if you’re scared of something or frustrated with work, he seems “not to notice.”
He just doesn’t want to deal with your emotions because he doesn’t want this burden in his life.
Maybe you’re at a point in your life where you can’t commit to a relationship or just aren’t capable of deep connection.
In both cases, he is not afraid of losing you.
Each of the signs listed above is individual telltale signs of his lack of interest, but if you see five or more of these in him, then you can be sure he really isn’t afraid of losing you. And in cases like this, there is probably not much you can do other than move on and find someone who really values you.