It is a question that no woman wants to ask.
But it happens, and if you’re suspecting something, you don’t want to be caught off guard.
If you are worried that your husband is heading for the exit door, this article is for you.
I can’t make any promises about how to prevent it from happening, but I can tell you what worked for me and the warning signs that I noticed and alerted me to before we passed the point of no return.
Many men also have regrets after breaking up, so working on the couple before a breakup happens could be best for both of you.
I cannot fail to mention that the appearance of the children has a great impact on the couple and that it presents many and more challenges.
In this article, we will focus primarily on the unique bonding aspects and the signs you will notice when there is a problem.
Later we will delve into effective ways to avoid the worst.
The 12 most important signs and symptoms of why a man leaves his family for another woman
1) He is bored with the marriage and tired of it
Many times we are so busy that we don’t see the obvious signs that our husband is bored and unhappy with the marriage.
In my case, I was shocked after 12 years of marriage when my husband finally told me outright that we were over and that he was experiencing severe depression over our marriage.
In fact, I was shocked and it was the last thing I expected.
Not everyone is as lucky as I was, I know. Many husbands will start out with other women before they open up to you.
If he never initiates conversations with you, is absent, seems glued to his phone, and basically attacks you when you speak, then these are all good signs that he’s out of touch with the marriage.
More subtle indicators that he is about to leave you include:
- never think about you
- stop helping at home or outside
- and he simply treats you more like a roommate than his romantic partner.
2) Communication has disappeared
I will never forget the phrase of the judge who officiated at my sister’s wedding:
“Communication, communication, communication. This is the basis for any marriage.”
So if they don’t talk about their emotions, their individual problems, and pretty much nothing, this is a huge red flag for your marriage.
Men in general are not characterized by wanting to discuss their emotions, but it is important that they create a space for dialogue if they want to work on their relationship as a couple.
3) You have become part of the backdrop for him
This one is hard for many wives to take, even when they notice it.
But I want you to know that it’s not necessarily your fault.
If your husband is looking right through you when he comes home, or treating you like part of the landscape, it’s most likely due to his own issues.
Unfortunately, however, his behavior and indifference have an obvious impact on you and it hurts.
If he only seems to think of you when he needs something or when he’s checking something, like if you paid the electric bill, then you’re getting into shaky ground.
4) You irritate him
A big part of what makes a man leave his family for another woman is when his wife irritates him.
He may tell you directly, but most of the time he will start looking at other women. Without you realizing it, he will classify you as a past partner instead of his future.
The worst part of this sign is that sometimes what bothers him is something that you do and that is totally justified.
I mean things like:
- Ask you to drink less;
- Ask him to clean some more;
- Or just generally speaking your mind on issues you disagree with him about
Sometimes this will be an obstacle that you will not overcome and that will cause him to leave you for another woman. Other times it can be fixed.
5) You are emotionally disconnected
There can be many reasons for this, personal or health problems.
It can often be a sign that he doesn’t feel validated or comfortable with you.
Every couple is different, but if you can like they joked and talked like intimate partners and now he’s barely growling at you, looking hurt and sad around you, then something is up.
Whether it has to do with you or not, his emotional disconnection from you can be a big reason why he begins to seek connection and comfort in the arms of another woman.
6) You feel unwanted
Whether or not it really is, when a man feels unwanted it can be the motivation that throws him into another woman’s bed.
Many times you did not even suspect that you would feel this way and you thought that everything was normal.
But he was getting further and further away from you.
There is something that men need more than anything in a relationship and that is to feel needed and vital for their woman. He needs to protect her and be there for her. It is a concept called the “hero instinct” and you can activate it in him so that he feels essential in your life.
If for years he felt his hero instinct wither, it is likely that he seeks to satisfy that need with another woman.
At the same time he begins to feel that you do not excite him, he stops looking at you and desiring you and is increasingly distant.
7) You feel you have to hide your true self
Here the only way to read this is to honestly observe your own behavior.
Do you yell at him sometimes or tell him to shut up for anything?
Do you dismiss their interests, opinions, and concerns with a shrug or laugh?
Do you talk badly about his friends and basically make it clear that you find his life and social circle kind of stupid?
Maybe he responds with an apologetic murmur and walks away instead of looking you in the eye and having a real conversation.
All of this can make a man feel like he has to hide who he really is and think he’s not “good enough” for you.
And as you can imagine, this will cause him to look for a woman who does find him good enough.
8) You don’t treat him very well
There is a tendency to blame and criticize men a lot.
And let’s be fair, sometimes they deserve it.
But in our new world of girl power, it’s also fair to admit that sometimes women fail too.
Think about whether your own behavior hasn’t always been of the highest order and if, frankly, there haven’t been times when you’ve treated him like crap.
Admitting this to yourself, and to him, can be a great tool in avoiding a nasty divorce.
9) You make all the decisions
Many men are attracted to a strong and confident woman.
So if that’s you, congratulations.
But if he’s gotten to the point where you’re basically making all the decisions and determining how it’s all going to turn out, this may be too much for him.
Perhaps you are passing to the side of the “controllers”. Admit it, it’s not pretty.
He needs to have a say in the important and vital issues of the couple.
But if you always push him away or are never willing to give in, then your husband will get angry and lose attraction.
He will try to find a relationship in which he can have a say.
Being too dominant in a relationship is bad when done by a man, but it’s also bad when done by a woman.
10) One or both have changed
People and situations change. It is a key factor when a man leaves his family for another woman.
These are things out of your control:
- Maybe one of you lost your job or had to move,
- They could be going through a scary health challenge,
- Perhaps one of you has been dealing with a mental health crisis.
The list of what you can change is endless.
Your interests may even have drifted so far apart that it’s hard to hold a decent conversation or understand each other’s sense of humor.
If they are bored or disconnected, he will naturally be attracted to a woman who makes him feel connected and engaged.
11) Feel like you are a burden
Many times a man will walk out the door in search of greener pastures when their relationship has simply gotten too nasty and too much work for him.
It sucks to say, but there are so many options these days, even more so with dating apps.
Especially if you don’t have children, he may feel like he has one last chance to escape what has become a boring and painful relationship.
Rest assured that he will withdraw if he feels that the relationship is taking energy and time from his life, to the point that he doesn’t even feel good or happy to be around you anymore.
12) It never really felt right to you
This may sound heartbreaking, but if it is the case, sooner or later you will have to face it.
Many people enter into relationships, and sadly even marriages, that are simply not good for them or their partner.
There are many cases of codependency.
When one of the two leans on the other to complete them or hope to save someone else who is “broken” or desperate inside.
Here are some suggestions on what you could do to avoid disaster if your relationship is headed for the abyss.
7 ways to prevent your marriage from ending
1) Show him that you love him
This doesn’t have to be over the top or anything like that, but showing him that you love him is crucial.
Men like to feel needed and appreciated.
He will know that you want him around and you really value him.
And you are much more likely to respond in kind.
One of the downsides of marriage is that we take our partner for granted.
But if you’ve been doing that, or he has, it’s going to take one of you to come out of “trance” to shake things up.
2) Awaken his hero instinct
As we said earlier, activating the hero instinct is a core component to many healthy relationships.
Make your guy feel needed, whether it’s something as simple as asking if you can go out and buy some groceries when you’re not feeling well. Or ask him to look at the leaky kitchen sink.
Even if his plumbing skills aren’t up to par, he’ll certainly enjoy going out of his way for you.
He just needs a little push and some validation from time to time.
This can mean a lot to him and make the difference between a great marriage and a breakup.
3) Innovate
Another great way to bring your marriage back is to spice things up a bit.
Try new restaurants, take painting classes after work on Friday nights, surprise him wearing something he likes.
Whatever it is, even just one or two new things, give it a try!
Maybe even take a vacation to a place you never imagined going. This can bring out a side of your partner that you never knew existed.
4) Be open and honest
Communication has to happen, no matter how painful it is.
Maybe you realized your marriage was in big trouble after years of getting used to a non-communicative pattern.
One day you wake up and realize:
“Gee, I haven’t had a deep, real conversation with my husband in years.”
But noticing that there is a breakdown in communication makes you start to rectify it.
Sooner or later it will have to happen, and if it doesn’t, the alternative is usually divorce.
5) Be vulnerable
Repressing your emotions is one of the worst things you can do, physically and mentally.
It leads to stress, depression, anxiety and all sorts of other ailments.
When you deny your emotions, they well up like springs and eventually shoot up and create a mess.
It is very important not to be impulsive and reactive.
But at the same time, you must fully accept your emotions and be honest about how you feel and why.
He won’t be able to say that you didn’t tell him how you felt. But he remembers hearing his point of view as well.
6) Relax a bit
Criticism is natural and if you are married it is very easy for you to notice the flaws in your partner.
But if you can’t stop criticizing everything he does, that’s sure to destroy any relationship.
There are some really good meditation techniques for finding inner peace, even in the midst of chaos.
I have personally used them to help me through some of the most difficult points in my personal life.
I also recommend doing an “intent check” before criticizing your husband.
Before you comment on his appearance, his schedule, his interests, his mood, or anything else, think about what motivates you to say something.
Is it jealousy, anger, frustration, sadness? Is there another reason why you are irritable?
Don’t speak impulsively and don’t let your negative and reactive part determine the relationship.
At the same time, make sure that you fully face and accept those painful emotions and experiences. Burying emotions is never the solution.
7) Time and space can be the best cure
Spending time apart can bring a lot of clarity about what’s best for both of you.
Notice how you feel being separated from him, what emotions, memories and sensations it brings you.
Do you feel called to expand in a new direction or refreshed and ready to re-embark with him on the journey of marriage?
Respect how you feel and how your partner feels and stay in touch.
But prioritize that time alone, in nature and with yourself. Allow yourself the sensations and see where it takes you.
I can also highly recommend shamanic, holotropic breathing or meditation exercises in all their versions.
In my experience they serve as a way to process obstacles, pain and even as a tool for inspiration and relaxation.
Many times we get “stuck” and do not process memories, experiences and states of pain. Those things get trapped in our respiratory system and in the way we breathe.
Here’s the bottom line on what makes a man leave his family for another woman…
No marriage is perfect.
At least as far as I know.
Even two incredibly loving, brilliant, committed people can get sidetracked.
Many times they are not very dramatic issues either.
Something as simple as sheer family exhaustion and overwork can ruin an entire marriage.
There are no universal solutions, but the journey you are on is important and you have many alternatives.
What I want to convey to you here is a message of hope and highlight the importance of a positive attitude.
Not all marriages can be saved, this is a reality.
But at the same time, there are many marriages that are getting back together, and there are happy couples that truly love and appreciate each other.
I even know couples who have separated and today are much happier in their new relationships. You can even give your kids a lot more quality time by not being so overwhelmed trying to solve their problems.
So be hopeful, stay strong and remember to love and take care of yourself too.