It’s not always easy to spot the signs and you may not even be aware of it, but if your “nice guy” is doing any of these 8 things, he’s manipulating you.
Manipulation comes in many different forms, which is why it is sometimes difficult to recognize.
It’s even harder to accept when the person manipulating you is the person closest to you.
What may seem like minor problems can build up over time and damage your self-esteem, while the “nice guy” continues to maintain his false image.
Here’s the thing – manipulative people want to be in control all the time.
They will twist your words, actions and thoughts to benefit.
But don’t be fooled.
They know exactly what they are doing.
The sooner you spot the signs and cut contact with this guy, the better.
Here’s what you should look for.
1. They Turns Everything Against You
A manipulator will not admit when they are wrong and when you are right.
They can’t accept the truth, so instead, they blame you.
This becomes a pattern.
The purpose of this is to make you feel guilty to the point where you will be the one to apologize for something you didn’t do.
For example, you’ll bring up something he’s done recently that bothered him, and he’ll turn on you by calling you “crazy” when you have every right to talk about how you’re feeling.
Instead of taking responsibility for your actions, he makes you believe it’s all in your head.
It’s a very classic move by a manipulator and can make you feel insecure and embarrassed.
2. He Doesn’t Want You To Make Plans Without Him
This can often be mistaken for him being a caring and loving boyfriend, when in reality he is using his manipulative tactics to stop her from doing the things he wants.
He won’t necessarily tell you to cancel plans with your friends, but he’ll make it clear that he’s not happy about it.
He expects his life to revolve around him and him alone.
It’s all an act.
You need to remember that this stems from his own insecurities and that’s why he likes to be in this position where he feels in control.
This is the kind of behavior that should never be ignored as it will only get worse over time.
3. He Denies Things He Said In The Past
This is another way the manipulator will make you believe it’s all in your head.
He will tell you something and then deny saying it, which can make you doubt yourself.
Manipulators want attention, but only when it suits them.
When they are put in a situation where they are confronted with something, they automatically try to turn their attention to you.
He might even bring up something you just said to deflect the blame.
This tactic isn’t always as obvious as it seems.
Most of the time, you’ll probably assume you misheard something he said, or blame your poor memory.
After all, he’s a “nice guy”, so it shouldn’t be intentional, right?
That’s exactly what he wants you to think, because it means he’s clean.
4. He Wants You To Feel Sorry For Him
If there’s one thing this guy does best, it’s playing the victim.
He pretends to be an affectionate and caring person, but is only playing the victim role to gain your sympathy and attention.
In fact, he always has some sad story that he uses to justify his actions.
For example, he had a bad upbringing, was bullied, lost his job, had a bad breakup.
There is always a story.
The thing is, he never seems to take responsibility for what happened in his life.
He always puts the blame on others to make it seem like the world is against him so you will be on his side.
It’s a smart tactic he’ll use all the time, especially when he needs to “redeem” himself.
5. He Says He Forgives You, But Keeps Bringing It Up
The “nice guy” wants to appear forgiving and understanding.
So when he accepts your apology, you’ll be happy to move on and never speak of him again.
Except he doesn’t forget.
He keeps everything in his head to use against you.
So whenever he does something wrong, he casually brings up what you said to make you feel bad.
In return, this makes him look like the “good guy”, despite the fact that he is manipulating you.
6. He Questions Your Feelings
Nothing you do will be enough to prove how you feel about him.
At least that’s how he makes you feel.
Handlers often don’t communicate their needs – they expect you to guess.
It’s like a game and unfortunately, you can’t win.
He always wants more from you, and when you’re not able to give him exactly what he needs, he’ll accuse you of not loving him enough.
See, he wants you to feel that no one else is going to love you the way he does.
It’s a smart tactic that makes you feel obligated to stay in the relationship.
7. He Gets Upset When You’re Busy
At first, you might see this as a good thing.
In fact, you’re flattered that he wants to spend every minute of every day with you.
But it can quickly become suffocating.
He texts you all the time.
He calls you.
He tries to make plans with you.
If you are busy or have other plans, he gets too emotional and even makes you feel guilty.
Your “nice guy” is the type of person who throws a tantrum when he doesn’t get what he wants.
The truth is, he’s not being considerate or affectionate, he’s trying to control you.
8. He Keeps You Questioning
You shouldn’t question his feelings for you, but as soon as you start to feel comfortable in the relationship, he starts pulling away and his doubts start to surface.
He wants to keep you close, but he also doesn’t want you to feel completely resolved.
For him, it’s a game and he doesn’t want it to be easy.
When you start giving up on the relationship , he will try to pull you back again.
He disguises himself as a “nice guy” if it means he’s getting what he wants, but his intentions aren’t genuine, they’re for his own gain.
More than anything, he wants to keep her interested because it’s great for his self-esteem.
And no matter how much you give him, he will always want more.
In a way, he wants to make you feel like you’re his “puppet on a string” that he has complete control over.
He likes the idea of having someone who is listening to his every word.
It’s not easy to accept that someone you love is emotionally manipulating you, but the only way to beat them at their own game is to break up.