Having a disagreement with someone close to you is difficult and sometimes inventing is even more difficult.
Here are some things you can do after a fight to help mend the bridges between you and your boyfriend.
1 . Don’t Think About Who Is Right
What you need to ask yourself is whether it is important to know which of you is right and which of you is wrong.
Sometimes it’s more productive to understand and acknowledge how each other feels because most fights result from a lack of communication.
Men and women often see things in a very different light, which makes it difficult to communicate or resolve anything when disputes arise.
If the two of you love each other, it might be more helpful to try to see things from each other’s perspective rather than placing blame.
With that in mind, here are some things you can do after a fight to diffuse confrontation and encourage better communication so you can be heard and resolve your issues in a more loving way.
2 . Give Each Other Some Space
If the argument is escalating and the frustration caused by a lack of empathy or proper communication is causing you to become less rational and more emotional, step away from the argument and let the other person cool down.
When the two of you have had some space to think, you are more likely to be receptive to each other’s needs rather than just focused on defending your own corner.
Sometimes issues seem much bigger and more significant in the heat of the moment because your partner’s reactions can add sparks to the fire, and other issues can be brought to the table at the same time to support the current points being made.
However, none of this leads to a resolution.
If you want to solve something rationally, you need to approach it rationally.
If you are calm, your partner is more likely to be calm too.
So just give each other some space and agree to talk about it later over dinner or when you’re both more relaxed.
3 . Take A Hot Shower And Then Call Your Mom
Being involved in a fight with your loved one means that you have a lot of tension in your body that needs to be released.
Taking a hot bath or meditating can help relieve some and clear your mind so you can think on a more rational level.
If you have a logical mother or an objective, brutally honest friend, settle in with a cup of tea and give them a call to talk it over.
You’ll feel better after hearing someone else’s opinion, and things will be organized in a more orderly fashion in your mind, ready for when you bring up topics again with your loved one.
4 . Have A Good Cry!
Believe it or not, crying after a fight really helps make you feel better.
You’ll feel more refreshed afterward, because emotional tears are the body’s way of releasing stress hormones.
If I were you, I’d wait until you’re alone – otherwise, you’ll likely be accused of emotional manipulation or risk being considered weak!
Get it all out, then take a deep breath and exhale all that horrible polluting tension.
5. Make A List Of The Most Important Points You Couldn’t Express
After a fight, the worst feeling is that you weren’t heard properly because you were both too emotional for real communication to take place.
Now that you’re alone, you can sit down with a pen and paper and write a short, accurate list to define the main points of the problem from your point of view, so the details don’t get lost the next time the argument is made.
You can then memorize the list as a mental image to refer to when you come back to discuss the situation, or you can give it to your boyfriend so he can respond to each point separately.
Keeping the list short will ensure your argument is concise enough to be resolved and will also make it easier to keep the discussion structured.
Arguments get out of hand when they are taken to the beaten track .
6 . Have A Hug
It might seem like a weird thing to do after engaging in aggressive communication for more than half an hour, but having a hug will break down any physical barriers and get the two of you to focus on how you really feel about each other.
It’s easy to forget during an argument that you’re supposed to be on the same side when you’re in a relationship.
You don’t need to hug right away, but at least get together for a hug after you’ve had space to cool off and are ready to start talking about it again.
7. Keep Your Partner Informed
After a fight, it’s tempting to run out the door.
If you leave after a fight, leaving each other no idea where you’re going or what you’re going to do, you’ll only end up fueling each other’s insecurities and may even cause more problems in the relationship.
It’s much nicer to at least state that you’re going to the corner store for milk and some fresh air to cool off, or that you’re going to walk around for a smoke and think things over and you’ll be back for half an hour to speak properly.
Communication is important, even when you’re feeling the negative adrenaline coursing through your body.
Communicating even in this way with your partner after a fight can start the healing process because you are showing that you are not just in attack mode and that you truly care and want to work things out with your loved one.
How Do You And Your Boyfriend Behave After A Fight?
Are you able to resolve disagreements like adults after a big fight?
How do you calm down or help to dissipate the tension in your partner?
Many couples switch the silent treatment and a fall can be like a test to see who is the weakest and will come back with their head between their legs.
What do you think about abusing power dynamics after fights?
Do you do it?