Are you in love with your man but still not working?
Maybe it’s time to let go and move on.
There are times when love is not enough to maintain a relationship.
Breaking up is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do in life.
There are so many worries and fears when you’re in a relationship, but even more so when you’re leaving one.
Your mind is full of doubts and you wonder if you are making the right decision if this relationship is “the one” and you are throwing it away, if you are overdoing it and if you will ever find love again.
Every time a relationship of mine ended, all these questions crossed my mind.
I wondered if this was the last man I ever kissed if I’m doomed to be alone if I’m being too demanding…all of which you’re probably wondering too.
While I can’t say if your relationship will last forever, I can say that love isn’t enough to keep you going.
There are times when you will need to let it go.
Here are some of those moments.
1 . When You Have Different Life Plans
Rarely do relationships last when two people have totally different life plans.
If you want to settle down and have ten kids, and he wants to travel the world like a missionary, living like a nomad, then he’s probably going to want to reconsider that relationship.
Life plans are very important and it’s important to be with someone who wants the same things you do.
2 . When You Have Different Ambitions
If you are an ambitious person and have a lot of determination and self-motivation, but your man is not ambitious and has no motivation to move forward in work or in life, then this will pose a lot of problems later on.
I spent years with a man who didn’t want to work.
In fact, he didn’t work, only I worked.
I thought he would change since he always said he would like to find a job, but the truth is he wasn’t looking.
I lost respect for him and the relationship ended.
I loved him more than I can say, but this time it wasn’t enough.
3 . When There’s Too Much Baggage
Everyone has luggage.
We all have a past, and sometimes that past really isn’t very pretty.
However, there are times when there is a lot of baggage and we cannot deal with the other person’s inner demons.
It’s not that you want to “fix” your lover; what happens is that the problems run so deep that they actually damage your relationship.
I know a guy who was seriously injured and is still recovering.
He asked me out, but it was hard for me to get over his constant conversation about how much his injury had changed his life.
Yes, your past will have an effect on you and it’s hard to get over things, but it can’t be the only thing you obsess over.
You have to go beyond your past and look to the future.
A person who focuses on their past and their baggage often make it difficult to move forward in a relationship or in life.
4 . When He Hurts You Too Many Times
Whether physically or emotionally, you know when you’ve had enough.
No amount of love in the world can sustain a relationship when there is so much pain involved.
Don’t play the martyr, get out of an abusive relationship and get help.
If it’s not abusive, but he’s a traitor or a liar, then the pain is still there and it’s real.
You deserve the best.
5 . When You Get Over It
Have you ever been with someone and matured faster than they did?
It’s strange, isn’t it?
Unfortunately, it is also a relationship break.
If you’re a grown woman keeping your responsibilities and he’s still acting like a brat, then I’d say love isn’t enough to keep this together.
Couples should grow together, not apart.
6 . When You Need Him More
Have you and your boyfriend been dating for a long time?
Are you ready for marriage but he’s still shy about commitments?
If this is you and you need him more than he’s willing to give (now or anytime in the future), then it’s best to get out of the relationship and move on.
Maybe he’ll change his mind after losing you, or maybe he won’t.
Either way, it’s better for you to be alone than to wait for him to make up his mind.
I say this from my own experience.
7 . When There’s Too Much Going On
If you and your man have been through a lot together, sometimes love won’t be enough to make your relationship work.
Every now and then, I think about one of my exes, Mateus.
I loved him and I know he loved me.
We were together for three years and we just broke up.
Sometimes I wonder if we got back together, would it work, but a lot has happened between us and a lot has happened since us.
Love isn’t always enough to let go of the past, no matter how much you want to.
I strongly believe in love and I think you should always give one hundred percent to a relationship so you don’t look back and regret it.
However, giving one hundred percent doesn’t mean you have to stay in a relationship that isn’t working.
Sometimes love is enough to build a solid foundation, but there are times, like the ones listed above, when love is not enough.