It is inevitable that most of us will end up breaking up.
Unless you belong to a very small and very lucky demographic, you will go through several relationships on your journey to find “the one”.
Some of our exes will make more lasting and deeper impressions than others, and we often fall in love with memories with them.
Well, that’s just not fair to your future partner as you will inevitably bring baggage in your next relationship.
You need to move on; here are five reasons why you couldn’t do it:
1. You Don’t Let Yourself Move On
This reason is perhaps the biggest culprit for his inability to get over his last relationship.
You didn’t move on because you simply didn’t allow yourself to do so.
You are constantly checking all social media for updates on your ex’s life.
I understand the urge behind this reason to check out your ex.
Maybe you’re harboring a vague hope that they’ll get back together, or your newfound free time takes you to his social media pages.
Regardless of the cause, this form of abuse will not do you any good.
Develop stronger willpower to shake this addiction.
One thing I’ve found to be extremely helpful is taking everything one day at a time.
Go a day without checking social media, then go another day and keep repeating it until you no longer feel like checking your ex.
The old adage is that it takes 21 days to break an addiction, so try this practice for a month and you might feel emotionally clean.
2. You’re Idolizing Your Ex
It’s all too easy to put your ex on a pedestal, especially when emotional factors like attraction and loneliness come into play.
You need to immediately stop building on his strengths and instead focus on the little things about his personality that were bothering you.
If you don’t, you won’t be able to find someone better.
Stop reflecting on the good moments of the relationship; don’t think back to the time when the two of you went to Paris and it was the most romantic trip of your life.
Don’t think about how he left surprise messages to brighten your day.
Anyone could do these things for you, but you need to go ahead and give these potential new boyfriends a chance.
If you’re idolizing your ex, you’ll potentially never move on.
You will carry a Herculean load of baggage into your next relationship.
3. You Have Been Dropped And Need To Be Validated
The need for validation is present in all human beings.
We are social creatures and we need to feel loved.
Being dismissed often creates an effect of despair and a jolt of confidence.
When you’re dumped, the other person basically says they don’t love you anymore and are perfectly fine without you.
Many of us consider this a need to redeem and validate ourselves for our exes.
This is the main reason many people get into a relationship report and why so many people feel devastated after a relationship ends.
Stop seeking validation from others and validate yourself instead.
4. You Reproduce Scenarios Where You Could Have Done Better
Many people are guilty of this scenario: you find yourself reminiscing about your past relationships, fixating on specific moments.
With a melancholy mindset, you daydream of better alternatives, turning unhappy moments into joyous moments and happy moments into exorbitant moments of ecstasy.
You need to cut this, now.
It’s no use living in the past, especially if it doesn’t help your present.
Realize that there is nothing you can do to change the past and no amount of positive thinking or prayers will change it.
The only reason to reminisce about the past is so you can confess your mistakes and avoid doing the same in the future.
5. You Need To Forgive Yourself And Your Ex
Closing is perhaps the hardest thing to achieve after a breakup.
There’s a lot of hurt and resentment because closure almost never happens.
The reject will not forgive the one who ended things and will likely forever harbor some sort of negativity towards the person who triggered the breakup.
To really move on, forgive yourself and your ex.
It just wasn’t meant to be.
Moving forward is difficult, but absolutely necessary.
Learn how to be alone, how to be single, and how to be independent.
Don’t waste time moping around and instead work on yourself in every way you can: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Take this time and connect with people you haven’t seen in a long time.
Pick a hobby so that when you’re alone, you have a new passion worth investing your time in.
Find out how to be a happy person to see how easy it is to find yourself in another happy relationship.
Cheers.