Making the decision to move in with someone you don’t have to deal with (aka parents, sorry mom) is often a pretty precarious situation.
I’m sure the idea of moving in with your best friend might have sounded like a perfectly sculpted scenario and you were probably kicking yourself for not thinking about it a long time ago.
However, the idea is quickly withdrawn as the rack of dirty dishes gets higher and she begins to openly welcome a group of lost people who mutter sweet words while nonchalantly munching on their stash of Sun Chips salsa.
However, I think we can still maintain that every relationship and experience is likely different across all spectrums.
One experience that is particularly different from all others is taking the inevitable next step in a relationship to live together.
It’s more of a scenario that we paint with butterflies and appointments.
Which, to my surprise, is just that: lots of butterflies and lots of commitments.
The idea of being open to sharing so much of yourself and your belongings in what can feel like a confined area is probably the scariest factor to consider when deciding to live day to day with your baby (aside from knowing when and how you can poop without an involuntary splash or echoing sound from the toilet).
If you’re like me, who values time well spent alone and having a haven to call my own, it’s definitely a challenging transition – one that will leave you anxious, stressed, and crazy, but mostly, just crazy.
Not the bad freak (for the most part), but the good freak who feeds us to get where we need to be.
The madness that will apply evenly to both lives as you begin to settle and embark on what will no doubt be tiring and complex, yet so exhilarating and rewarding.
Every day is an adventure.
Sharing your life alongside someone you love is the learning and growth experience of a lifetime.
You learn to have a lot more patience than you ever thought you could accumulate.
You learn to become understanding, even when you don’t want to.
You learn that not getting what you want can sometimes work out for the better, and most importantly, you learn to become selfless.
Aside from the repetitive reprimands and mixed laundry, the hardest hurdle (for me at least) is getting so comfortable and dependent on each other that we often fail to honor the very things that make you, you.
By you, I mean the “you” he or she fell in love with.
The “you” you don’t want to lose sight of.
The you that, like a flower, needs to be replenished with its essential elements to grow, bloom and sustain itself.
Prioritize the revitalizing life you share with your baby while being attentive when you need your space.
I can’t help but emphasize how vital it is to take time for yourself routinely.
It’s the key to any successful relationship.
We often take our alone time for granted and never really value moments when we can truly satisfy our own souls – not to mention your significant other may not already be doing so.
However, there’s really no one who knows you better than you do (as much as your partner would like to argue otherwise).
Whether it means you feel like sulking, writing in a journal, enjoying an old high school playlist, or just thinking out loud in your own space, use these moments to date yourself.
If the soul of self is fed, everything else will naturally fall into place.
The most common misconception is that moving in with a significant other is the absolute worst decision you can make, due to the likelihood of both of you changing and romance becoming non-existent and you are basically doomed to give up.
I won’t deny that this can indeed happen, but what if the two of you change?
Change is growth, and who better to do that than with your partner?
Romance or the “honeymoon phase” doesn’t have to end just because that’s what statistics have built into us.
When you take time for your child and yourself, the love you share will never be lost.
The butterflies in your belly will flutter even deeper, and home will be the place that will always make you skip a beat and fill you with exhilarating anticipation.
Living together will certainly not be a walk in the park; it’s more like a walk on the beach .
Sometimes it’s bumpy and your feet sink in, requiring more effort and strength to move forward, but the scenery of it all is incredibly beautiful, making it all worth it.