I know a lot of women might be thinking that all good singles are extinct or that men don’t hit on women anymore.
However, after training thousands of passionate guys, I can promise you that their reality is very different.
If you’re wondering how to meet men in real life, there are five super simple tips that will help you start more conversations and meet someone amazing.
1. Create free time.
2. Look unoccupied.
3. Become more visible.
4. Get closer.
5. Give him a clear signal.
Unlike in the movies, most guys aren’t entirely comfortable (or at least very well) meeting women in real life.
When they see you, they feel doubtful, not knowing what to say, and worried that they might look scary.
The five tips I’m going to give you are based on the simple idea that men want to meet you – you just need to give them clearer signals and better opportunities.
(By the way, I’m also all for you starting the conversation with a guy!
But I’ll leave that to convince you in a future post).
Right now, here are five simple ways to increase your ability to meet men in real life.
1 . Create Free Time
I know it might seem obvious, but if you’re guilty of constantly being late and being super busy, it’s not surprising that you’re not seeing anyone.
Aside from the fact that you’re too busy looking at your phone to see if there’s someone beautiful around you, men interpret your occupation as something unreachable.
Being in a hurry means you don’t see opportunities and men will avoid interrupting you.
To change that, try arriving early to meet a friend and spending fifteen minutes alone at a cafe/bar/party and notice the difference it makes.
(Also note that most men find it difficult to approach a woman – you plus two or three friends makes it completely scary for him!)
2 . Look Unoccupied
To make this more effective, you should keep your phone/calendar/e-reader in your bag.
Even if you’re just browsing Instagram, a man will again interpret this as a sign of ‘she’s busy’ and won’t get involved.
The same goes for using headphones.
I’ve had endless questions from men purely on the subject of how they strike up a conversation with a woman when she’s listening to Spotify.
So it’s time to practice some mindfulness.
Hang up the phone.
Take out headphones.
3 . Become More Visible
Part of the way you can meet more men in real life is by looking like you have some free time on your hands, the other piece of the puzzle is making sure you get his attention.
This doesn’t mean you have to drastically alter your personal style, but it does mean that when you enter a location, you don’t immediately duck down to hide in the corner of the room until your friend appears.
Instead, I want you to ‘walk around the room’ (ie take a little walk).
When you sit down, choose somewhere, like a bar area, where there are plenty of opportunities for guys to see you.
You can also help men at the start of a conversation by wearing something that is easy to talk about.
It’s often much easier for him to say he likes your hat/necklace/sweater rather than finding you attractive.
So maybe it’s time to dig up that edgier accessory or red beret your mom always told you looked good and give it a go.
4 . Approach Him
Let’s be honest, even if you were wearing a ‘approach me’ shirt, some guys will still think you’re not serious.
I know you can say, ‘I just want to date a guy who has the guts to approach me.’
But just because a man isn’t approaching you right now doesn’t mean he’s not a nice guy.
He can, in fact, be such an attentive man that he doesn’t find the right time to approach you.
To help this guy, approach him.
Most men are afraid to cross a bar to talk to you.
(And imagine if they did, you could reject them in the worst way). You can reduce their fear by entering their physical space.
This could be lining up next to them at the bar or sitting next to them in a yoga class.
5 . Give Him A Clear Sign
Now I’m going to imagine that you’re a few feet away from a handsome guy.
To complete your checklist of clear signs to encourage him to approach you, I want you to focus on making eye contact with him and smiling.
I know it sounds easy, but I’ve also worked with a lot of women whose first reaction when they see a guy they like is to look at his feet.
Some eye contact (look at him, look away, look back) and smiling shows that you’re open to a conversation and increases your approachability.
Now I would also love for you to go the extra mile and learn to say hi to him.
Sometimes finding a nice guy can feel like a marathon, but if you stay positive, proactive, and open to all the different ways you meet men in real life, the journey becomes a lot more fun.