When you said “yes,” you thought you were committing to a lifetime of cooperation, shared experiences, and mutual support.
Today, you are wondering what happened.
If you’re a woman, you might think, “We never spoke again.
And why can’t he take out the trash every now and then?”
If you’re a man, imagine what happened to that fun woman you once knew.
All she seems to do these days is complain and criticize!
By the time you get to the point where you’re looking for solutions on the Internet, you’ve already started daydreaming and having fun and enjoying a single life where you’re only responsible for yourself.
But don’t give up until you read this article!
Reasons for Loneliness in a Committed Relationship
There are at least seven common reasons couples distance themselves from each other.
Sometimes, several of these reasons are present at the same time, making it even more difficult for a couple to get their relationship back together.
Let’s look at a brief description of each and the best tools for dealing with the causes of loneliness in your relationship once you’ve identified the cause.
Power Struggles
At first, you thought the union would be natural and effortless.
You liked what he liked.
She had the same irritations as you.
Now, it seems that cooperation is impossible.
You both complain that one is trying to change the other and one doesn’t accept who the other is.
Passive aggression can increase – sure, you’ve agreed to do the dishes, but you’ll do a terrible job of keeping her from asking again!
Incompatibility
While power struggles are a normal stage as relationships develop over time, compatible couples can overcome challenges.
Incompatibles cannot.
Note: If you are dealing with prolonged silent treatments, you may be in an abusive relationship.
While you can still find some useful tools here, abuse doesn’t resolve itself and I encourage you to seek out a professional therapist.
Absence
Sometimes physical separation can create anxieties that sabotage the relationship.
Whether one of you attends school, works for the military, or works outside the home for an extended period of time, long-distance relationships face unique challenges.
The person left behind may be forced to take on responsibilities that were previously handled by the absent partner, in addition to the normal responsibilities.
When the loved one returns, he may not be ready to completely relinquish some of these duties.
To make matters worse, their own doubts about the relationship may arise, and one of them may feel that their partner is cheating.
The worst case scenario happens when one actually cheats
Infidelity is a deep betrayal that leaves scars for a long, long time.
Some couples can recover, while others never.
Lack of Ties:
When the relationship or marriage was rushed, we may not have had the chance to build a deep and lasting friendship with our partner.
The best relationships have a deep sense of friendship, characterized by mutual respect, trust and appreciation.
Boredom and suspicion can damage a relationship faster than we can say, “I love you.”
Busy schedule
Work demands, children, housework, laundry, making (or buying) meals, and little time for leisure and sleep can all drain us.
After deducting 8 hours for work, another 8 hours for sleeping, and an hour for the miscellaneous things we do like getting to and from work and showering, we have seven hours left in the day.
It sounds like a lot, but think about the many extra tasks each of us performs on a regular basis.
We pay bills, mow the lawn, wash our cars, clean the house, take care of the kids and still want some downtime to watch television or surf the internet.
How much of your time is really free, with nothing on your to-do list?
How much of your partner’s time is?
vices
The good times are really, really good, but the bad times are downright traumatic.
People in abusive relationships are often ashamed to speak honestly and openly with other family members or friends about their problems because they are afraid of criticism and feel ashamed.
They feel pressured to maintain an acceptable image.
“What happens here must stay here” is their mantra, and it can lead to a very lonely life.
Unbalanced Personal Growth
Sometimes partners just don’t take care of the relationship enough to grow together.
Every day, we make observations and judge the things that happen around us.
At work.
What we see on television.
What we heard someone say.
Over a period of years, our personal values, beliefs and interests can change because of these trivial events.
If we don’t pay attention to the little things our partner experiences on a day-to-day basis, we run the risk of losing touch with the things that are important to him.
In other words, if we don’t grow up together, we’ll break up.
Weak Communication Skills
Most therapy for couples seems to be centered around teaching communication skills.
While I realize that counseling can help some couples, I believe that most couples would have no communication problems if the “real” problem was resolved.
By “communication skills”, I am not referring to the use of “I statements”.
You’ve probably tried it and found it didn’t work, or you still wouldn’t be reading this page.
However, I believe that the way we communicate our empathy and admiration can bring you closer or further away from a partner.
Couples with so-called poor communication skills have a bigger problem: they lack empathy, they don’t stand up for their partner, and they prioritize their own short-term interests over the relationship’s long-term needs, which can leave one or both parties feeling frustrated and alone.
What Are Readers’ Most Common Loneliness Experiences?
Did you feel alone while in a relationship?
Which of these reasons was responsible?
Questions and answers
- Question:
How do I effectively communicate what I want from my partner?
Answer:
You count or show.
If you’ve done this and you’re still single, it’s because they’re not emotionally invested in the relationship to the same degree as you are.