There’s nothing quite as exciting as the early stages of a romantic relationship.
Just thinking that you may have found the love of your life can be very exciting.
But, the initial stages of falling in love can be as wonderful as they are frustrating.
Your new love life can consume your energy, focus, and time to the point where everything that happens in your life can feel like a gross intrusion.
You can’t stop thinking about your love.
You get up and fall asleep obsessing over the relationship and what your future together will be like.
For some of you, this reaction to love may seem over the top.
But many of you know firsthand how falling in love can make you obsessed, needy, and insecure for a while.
You don’t have to have emotional issues from the past to feel this way – although if you do, this stage will be particularly difficult.
Remember, the saying isn’t staying balanced in love, it’s falling in love.
If you’re in the early stages of falling in love right now and you feel a little crazy, don’t worry: you kind of are.
You are under the influence of hormones that make you feel euphoric, threatened, and exhausted at the same time.
Researcher Donatella Marazziti, from the University of Pisa, Italy, helps us understand the euphoria we feel in the early stages of romantic love.
She says it’s more than two hearts on fire when people fall in love; your hormones inflame too.
The nerve transmitters adrenaline and phenylethylamine, or PEA (also present in chocolate) increase when two people are attracted to each other and put them into emotional overdrive.
Also, the relaxation hormone, feel-good serotonin, decreases, causing you to obsess over your lover and always reflect on the romantic moments spent with him.
Falling in love produces a biological state similar to using cocaine.
More interestingly, Marazziti found that falling in love also alters testosterone levels in both men and women.
This is the male hormone that makes men hunters and more capable than women of being without an emotional commitment.
The increase in testosterone levels in women during the early stages of romantic love makes them more aggressive.
Although reduced testosterone levels in men make them more emotional and receptive at the moment.
This discovery makes me smile.
If you ever felt this way about a person you loved, you now know that it was her hormones that turned her into a wild girl.
Why do the early stages of love also make you feel personally threatened?
First, the euphoria you feel can disorganize you.
You are adding a dating relationship to your normal, busy routine.
Your normal responsibilities at work and at home may get in the way as you spend more energy solidifying your love relationship.
This can make you more anxious.
Also, love asks you to lower your defenses and loosen your personal boundaries so that you can merge your needs and desires with the person you love.
This process can be threatening and makes you feel insecure.
However, it is the establishment of a strong and healthy relationship bond.
It takes time to trust each other and know that this attachment won’t hurt you.
No wonder we can feel anxious and insecure when we fall in love.
There is much to gain and much to lose.
The fear you feel is palpable.
You may unconsciously create emotional issues and dramas to voice and make the danger you feel tangible.
With all the hormonal changes and fears going on inside you, it’s no wonder you feel exhausted in the early stages of falling in love.
I’ve heard several people say that they can’t wait until the honeymoon period is over so they can get some rest.
No wonder some people rush to seal the deal, just to put an end to those uncomfortable feelings.
Knowledge is power
Resistant individuals armed themselves with knowledge.
They approach new experiences as a chance to learn something new about themselves (the dogged defiance attitude) and learn what they can to effectively deal with stressful situations (the dogged control attitude).
In fact, the initial stages of falling in love are stressful.
The following recommendations can help you navigate the love stage more smoothly so that you can appreciate this very special time in your life.
- Enjoy the breeze, but don’t get lost in it.
- Stick to your schedule, no matter how much you want to throw it away.
- Recognize that you are under the influence of some powerful hormones.
- Get the nutrition, rest, and relaxation you need to stay physically, emotionally, and mentally in good shape.
- When worries and fears come to your mind about the person you love, ask yourself if you are just trying to alleviate the anxiety you feel about the unknown so you can prevent a personal drama.
- Don’t rush to seal the relationship just because you can’t stand the anxiety of having to go through the stages of falling in love. Accept your anxiety and learn to work with it.
- Research shows that falling in love also makes you more creative. So work out that anxiety and fear through some creative activities.
- Don’t lower your defenses, personal limits, and expectations to the extent that you’re denying what you really want and need. It never works well. You must want to create an authentic relationship bond, rather than one based solely on fantasy.