13 Signs You’re His Second Choice, Not His First Choice

Are You Really His Number One?

In many ways, dating is a numbers game.

The more people we look for, the more likely we are to find someone who will marry us.

The more people we try to hedge our bets with, the more likely we are to have a relationship sooner rather than later.

Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us have had a person we considered a “second choice” when we were dating.

In most cases, we were also the backup plan for others.

We really can’t judge people for settling down when they can’t be with the ones they love.

After all, chances are high that you will do the same.

The problem is, no one wants to be someone’s second option or plan B when they’re trying to have a really serious and lasting relationship.

Not sure where you are with the guy you like?

If you are realizing these things, you are the silver medalist, not the gold medalist.

1 . When the two of you started dating, his attention was patchy.

Most of the time, a guy can figure out when he wants to be with someone after the first or second date.

If the beginning of the relationship was marked with you trying harder than he was, and then he became much more interested in you later on, that’s a bad sign.

This usually indicates that he was more interested in another girl, who turned him down.

When he was rejected for option #1, he went with you.

2 . You haven’t met his friends or family, and it’s been a while.

That‘s never a good sign.

Usually, guys only do this when they don’t want to commit to you for the long term or when they’re using you as the step girl.

Either way, it shows that you’re just someone to fill the void until someone better comes along.

3 . Every step of commitment you make him do is up to you to start, and it’s never easy.

Nobody wants to settle down and settle down in a steady relationship, and if a guy sees you as a second choice, he’ll make up any excuse he can to put off the commitment.

The reason is that he hopes to get attached to someone else, and if he commits to you, you could “ruin” his chances.

4 . He Cancels Plans All the Time.

As with other signals on this list, this is often an indicator that you might as well be a step away from it.

If a guy really likes you, he prioritizes you.

Even super-busy bigwigs like Jay Z still have time for his wife Beyoncé.

Do you know what I mean?

If even A-list celebrities can make time to see their sweetheart, there’s no excuse for a guy with plenty of time.

5 . He doesn’t spend money on you.

This rule may seem rather petty and useless, but it does the trick.

When a guy really wants a girl, he’ll give her gifts, buy her dinner, and do whatever he can to show that he’d take care of her.

If he’s too broke to even buy you coffee or dinner once a week, you’re probably not the best option.

6 . You Constantly Worry That He Will Disappear If You Face His Misbehavior.

We often tend to know on a subconscious level where we are with people.

If you feel like you have to compete for his love or if you feel like he could just walk away without a second thought, you’re probably right.

7 . What He is doing to you is done for His convenience, not yours.

This is a sign that you are his second choice and it is painful to admit to yourself.

If your relationship is with him coming and going at his convenience, you are his plan B… or even lower than that.

8 . Labels Won’t Roll With Him.

A guy who is using you as a support girl says nothing about labels.

If you ask for a commitment or a label (are we boyfriends?), he’ll usually respond with  “I’m not ready”  or  “Oh, let’s see what that turns out to be.”

Let’s be real here: if you were his best choice, he’d be labeling you.

9 . He Does Not Share Responsibilities Or Property.

You want him to move, but he refuses.

You both love animals and want to buy a dog from him, and he rejects that too.

You want him to dive into a hobby project with you, and he says no.

If he’s drawing these clear boundaries, he’s giving you a subtle hint that you can’t count on the relationship progressing.

10 . He just talks and doesn’t do.

Sure, he says he loves you and he’s always texting you, but when you’re with him in person, he’s bored until the clothes fall off.

If he’s acting that way, he’s just a cutie just to get you to sleep with him.

11 . He is in a relationship, but not with you.

Are you stuck in that relationship limbo while he’s with his girlfriend?

We have news for you.

You’re not just plan B, here.

You are also the least important girl he also ‘takes’.

If you were his number one choice, he would have a relationship with you instead of her.

12 . He Suggested A Marriage Pact.

A person who says they will marry you if you are still single at a certain age is a person who has you as a last option.

It’s that simple and it doesn’t get any more obvious than that.

13 . Though he doesn’t commit to you or take you out on a legitimate date, he gets angry if he finds out you’re seeing someone.

When guys do that, it’s insanely annoying.

Like, what should we do?

Just wait until he gets married or something?

If he gets grumpy or defensive, tell him to hunt coconuts.

He had the chance, he just didn’t care about you.