Seems like having an emotional affair is all the rage.
We spend a lot of time with other people outside the home, at work, at the gym, or on hobbies.
We also easily connect with others on social media.
Some platonic relationships can slowly develop into deep emotional friendships.
When that person is attracted to you, you face a slippery slope that pulls you away from marriage.
Emotional affairs can wreak havoc on your marriage and family.
You only have a certain amount of “emotional energy”.
When you’re not focusing that energy on your spouse, where is it going?
Most emotional and physical affairs start out as benign friendships.
There is usually no intention of these bonds becoming something more.
Regardless, the line is fine between close friendships and emotional affairs.
Furthermore, emotional affairs can also quickly lead to flirting.
The dangers of emotional affairs.
Signs You’re In An Emotional Affair
If you’re not sure if you’re having an emotional affair, here are nine signs that indicate you probably are:
Frequent Contact When You’re Not Together.
You often communicate with this person at questionable times.
You spend a lot of time texting, emailing, or video calling this person.
You discuss very personal topics, such as your current relationship problems.
You share all or most of your problems and concerns with this person.
By doing so, you also become more displeased with your spouse.
That person takes control of your thoughts.
You think about him constantly.
This person is on your mind when you wake up in the morning when you go to sleep at night and much of the day.
You have this person in mind when you dress, hoping that he will notice your appearance.
You Spend A Lot Of Time Together.
You find excuses or create reasons to spend time with him.
He Becomes The First Person You Want To Call With Any “News”.
You have some interesting news to share or you’ve had a bad day and this is the person you call.
You may not be sharing much with your spouse.
You Believe That This Person Really “Understands” You.
You start to feel like he really understands you better than your spouse.
You Start Lying Or Keeping Secrets.
This usually implies lying by omission.
If you intentionally don’t tell your spouse about your conversations, meetings, lunches, texts, and phone calls, alarm bells must be ringing!
Are you deleting messages from your phone or denying communication with it when prompted?
If you’re hiding things or lying when you know deep down that the behavior isn’t right.
Would you be mortified if your spouse overheard a recorded conversation between the two of you?
You often compare your spouse to him.
You may be angry with your spouse for not doing the things the other person does.
You start to idealize this person while your partner starts to look worse in your eyes.
You may become more critical of your spouse.
This will certainly create a good guy/bad guy dynamic between these two people.
Your Spouse Gets Less From You, While Your Special Person Gets More.
Whether it’s less communication, nurturing, your thoughts, or your innermost world, your time and focus are taken away from your partner and transferred to that other person.
Impact of Emotional Affairs
These types of cases can feel like a vacation from your everyday life.
You only bring out the best in this other person and they see the best in you.
You don’t see him 24/7 and learn about his bad habits and unattractive traits.
Her image of him is mostly fantasy-based and an idealized persona, which is sure to make this relationship very attractive.
If you think you’re having an emotional affair, it might be time to seriously assess the state of your marriage.
Even when these matters do not cross boundaries, becoming physical, the impact can be just as damaging and puts your marriage in jeopardy.
The intimacy involved in emotional affairs can often have a deeper degree of intensity because you are more emotionally invested.