Be aware of these signs before being manipulated.
“Enough about me. Let’s talk about you: what do you think of me?” — anonymous.
“It’s not easy to be superior to everyone I know.” — anonymous.
A narcissist is someone who has “buried his true expression of himself in relation to some past trauma and replaced it with a false, highly developed and compensatory version of himself”.
This alternate personality usually wants to show that they are grandiose, “above all”, and highly pretentious.
In our highly individualistic society, mild and severe forms of narcissism are widespread.
Narcissism is usually interpreted in popular culture as a person who loves himself.
It is more accurate to characterize the pathological narcissist as someone who is enamored of the idealized self-image, which the person projects to avoid (and be seen as) the real, wounded, and bereft version of themselves.
Deep down, most pathological narcissists feel like the “ugly duckling”, even though they don’t want to admit it.
How Do You Know If You’re Dating a Narcissist?
Below you will discover 10 warning signs.
While most of us are guilty of some of the behaviors below from time to time, the pathological narcissist tends to dwell permanently on these varied personalities, while still not knowing how their actions affect other people.
1. The Owner Of The Conversation.
The narcissist loves talking about himself and doesn’t give you a chance to join the conversation.
You have trouble being heard, you are unable to share your opinions and feelings.
When you finally get a word out, if you don’t agree with the narcissist, your comments will likely be corrected, dismissed, or ignored.
“my boyfriend’s favorite responses to my opinions are always, “but…”, “actually…” and “it’s so much more than just that…” he always has to think he knows better”. — anonymous.
2. The Chat Switch.
While many people have a bad habit of interrupting others during communication, the narcissist interrupts and quickly shifts the focus of the conversation back to him.
He shows little genuine interest in you.
3. The Rule Breaker.
The narcissist enjoys violating social rules and norms, such as cutting in line, stealing small objects, missing an appointment, or disobeying traffic laws.
4. The Boundary Breaker.
Shows widespread disregard for other people’s thoughts, feelings, belongings, and physical space.
He uses other people without consideration or sensitivity.
Borrow your money and don’t return it.
Breaks promises and obligations repeatedly.
Shows little remorse and blames the victim for her own lack of respect for herself.
“It’s your fault that I forgot because you didn’t warn me.” — anonymous.
5. False Self-Image Projection.
Many narcissists like to do things to impress other people when they are trying to look good on the outside.
This trophy complex can be displayed in a physical, romantic, social, religious, financial, material, professional, academic, or cultural aspects.
In these situations, the narcissist uses people, objects, status, or achievements to represent their self-image, replacing the real but inappropriate image.
These merits are often exaggerated.
The underlying message of this type of display is, “I am better than you!” or “look at how special I am—I’m worthy of everyone’s love and everyone’s acceptance!”
“I dyed my hair blonde and put in silicone to get men’s attention — and make other women jealous.”
“My achievements are everything”.
“I will never want to pass myself off as a poor person. My fiancee and I drive a brand new BMW. A best man at our wedding also has a BMW.”
These external symbols eventually become part of the narcissist’s false identity, replacing the real, bruised version of the person.
6. What Is In The Right Of Everything.
Narcissists often expect preferential treatment from other people.
They expect other people to meet their needs, often instantly, without considering the person in return.
In this narcissist’s mindset, the world revolves around him.
7. The Charming.
Narcissists can be quite charismatic and persuasive.
When they are interested in you (to their own gratification), they make you feel very special and wanted.
However, once they lose interest in you (most likely after you’ve gotten what they wanted… or got sick of it), they may walk away from you without a second thought.
The narcissist can be very engaging and sociable as long as you are fulfilling what he wants and giving him your full attention.
8. Grand Personality.
Thinking of yourself as a hero, a prince, or some kind of extremely special person.
Some narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, believing that other people cannot live or survive without their magnificent contribution.
“Once again I saved the day — they’re nothing without me.”
9. Negative Emotions.
Many narcissists like to raise and spread negative emotions to gain attention, feel the power, and make you feel insecure and unbalanced.
They are easily irritated by any signs of inattentiveness, real or perceived.
The narcissist can make a scene if you disdain his opinions or fail to meet his expectations.
Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism, often reacting with heated arguments (fighting) or withdrawing and becoming cold (escape).
On the other hand, narcissists are quick to judge, criticize, ridicule, and blame you.
Some narcissists are emotionally abusive.
By making you feel inferior, they massage their weakened ego… and feel better.
“Some people try to get taller by cutting off other people’s heads.” – Paramhansa Yogananda.
10. Manipulation: Using Other People as an Extension of Yourself.
Making decisions for others to meet their own needs.
The narcissist may use his or her romantic partner, a child, friend, or colleague to fulfill an unreasonable need, fulfill unfulfilled dreams, or cover up self-perceived flaws.
“If my son doesn’t become a successful professional football player, I disown him.”
Another way narcissists manipulate is through guilt, for example, saying things like “I gave myself so much and you are so ungrateful” or “I am the victim here — you have to help me or you are not a good person.” ”.
They hijack your emotions and force you to make sacrifices that are beyond your means.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist that’s difficult to deal with, be more proactive rather than reactive… and know how to say no to their over-the-top requests.