You want to know the worst thing when a man starts to distance himself from you?
It’s not pain.
It’s not fear.
It’s not the desperation of losing him.
It’s just that most of the time — a woman’s reaction when a man starts to get distant can literally push him further away from her.
A common reaction that many women have when a man for some reason decides to walk away is precisely the reaction that makes him become more and more distant.
This reaction you have probably already had or may have in the future.
This reaction ruins the relationship and you don’t even realize that you are pushing your boyfriend or husband further away.
When you meet a man and feel a lot of connection and compatibility with him, and feel that he likes you a lot too, you are blinded by love and passion.
He’s giving you his undivided attention, you two make plans to go out and have fun, he responds quickly to your text messages… anyway, everything is perfect.
One fine day… out of nowhere, something happens.
He no longer calls or texts to chat as much as he used to.
Soon he moves away from you a little more.
He doesn’t plan on seeing you this weekend… or he stops being so affectionate with you.
Whatever it is, you can tell he’s different, and it feels awful.
For most women, the first instinct here is to want to fix the situation by trying to get closer to him or trying to pull him closer.
This reaction shows up in some specific ways, like asking him what’s going on, calling him more often, and being worried about the relationship.
The problem is, this reaction almost always pushes him further and further away and puts the relationship at risk.
This will seem like a paradox, but the best way to not let him distance himself and bring him closer to you is to stop trying to pull him close to you.
If you spend your energies trying to pull him back, you’ll push him away.
This seems totally counterintuitive, but the only way to get him to get closer to you is when he decides to be closer of his own volition, when he feels like he wants to be closer to you, without you trying to pull him.
With that in mind, here are three steps to give him the space he needs to come back to you voluntarily, rather than trying to win him back and end up pushing him further away than before:
1. Calm down and be aware that it’s totally natural for a man to back off a little.
Even if the man is totally in love – it is natural for him to distance himself a little.
This is because men are afraid of being vulnerable — and there is nothing that makes a man feel more vulnerable than falling head over heels in love with a woman.
Men go back and forth between near and far when they are slowly liking a woman because, for them, being vulnerable is extremely uncomfortable.
Over time, they work on these feelings and start to get more comfortable and accustomed to the feelings, so the distance they create starts to diminish.
That’s why it’s so important to remind yourself that it’s totally natural for him to appear distant.
If it is to happen, he will become less and less distant as the relationship progresses.
Sometimes he will want “space”, but this will be less and less frequent.
2. Create The Desire In Him To Get Closer To You Again.
As stated before, for most women, the common reaction when a man becomes distant is to panic and try to close the gap between the two of them so he can get closer again.
This almost always has the opposite effect.
Well, when a woman chases a distant man, she undermines his attempt to feel more independent, makes him feel more vulnerable, and takes away any incentive he had to close the void again.
She takes the choice out of his hands, and he feels pressured… and in some cases, trapped or cornered.
By chasing after him when he’s pulling away, you undermine his effort to feel independent — and you also leave the relationship in a way that makes him feel like he’s not getting the distance and perspective he wants from you.
So he tries to distance himself even more, which makes you chase him harder and all the romance disappears right in front of you.
Here’s what you should do to prevent this from happening: just don’t run after him or try to close the hole he’s creating.
Don’t keep guessing why he’s getting distant or ask him what’s going on, and don’t force him to give an answer.
That means you shouldn’t call, text, or show up out of the blue where he works or at his house.
Remember, he has to come to the conclusion on his own that he misses you and wants you in his life.
You can’t make him want it… instead of running after you have to let him naturally “hungry for you” again.
This means giving him space, letting him take a little distance from the relationship so he can have some perspective, and then giving him the space he needs to get real and see that he misses you and wants to be closer to you again. .
Men naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence.
Guessing why is impossible — some guys want space to reflect on their relationship, other more insecure guys want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too tame”, and other men want space because they need time alone to cool off. head.
It’s not possible to guess why he wants to be a little distant — but it’s possible to give him exactly what he wants — time and space.
You have to let him make the choice to come back to you instead of trying to force it.
If you let him make the choice, his feelings for you will be much stronger when he decides he wants to be with you again, and that will be much better for both of you.
You have to let him make the choice to come back to you instead of trying to force a rapprochement.
Also, men are so used to women chasing after them when they’re trying to gain perspective that they’re shocked when the woman gives him the space he wanted.
If you do, he’ll notice that you’re different from every other woman he’s dated, in a positive way, and it’ll make him think more and more without you, especially as a permanent partner he’ll want to take out with. more serious commitments.
3. Communicate Your Feelings Effectively.
It’s all too easy to feel angry and neglectful when a man starts to distance himself from you—just as it’s easy to resent him when he comes back.
Most women want to show men how much they’ve hurt them by creating distance, just to show that they don’t like it when they do.
However, women express this the wrong way.
You have to know how to express it with words (not passive and aggressive actions), and you have to know how to express how you are feeling without blaming him for it.
For example: don’t attack him with questions like…
“Where have you been?”
“Why did you just disappear from the map?”
“Why didn’t you call?”
Instead, tell him…
“Glad you broke the news! I feel good now.”
Instead of throwing something negative and aggressive, let him feel your fun, positive energy.
Also, since you didn’t show anger or blame him, he’ll see that you’re in control of your emotions and you’re not living or dying based on everything he does or doesn’t do—it’ll make him want you even more . most.
He will see that you are a woman who understands what he needs without letting it affect you too much.
As you spend positive, fun times with him, he’ll realize more and more that he enjoys being with you, and that he wants to be with you more and more.
Eventually this leads to plans for the future, love, family and marriage.
After reading this article, you now understand better why he wanted distance and what to do when he is pulling away.
This text serves as a “band-aid” for you to get rid of the worst symptoms immediately.
It’s important to note that if you really want to stop him from creating distance forever, you need more powerful advice.
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Do you have any stories of some man who created distance and then came back?
…or some man who disappeared completely and never came back?
Share in the comments.
In short… these are the reasons men create distance.
The reality is that the reasons don’t matter because there are many, and trying to force the bar to get him closer will only push him further and ruin the relationship.
The best way to keep him from pulling away and bringing him back to you is to stop trying to pull him closer.
Remember that it’s perfectly natural for him to create distance, men do this at some point in a relationship.
You can create a desire in him to be closer to you again if you don’t chase him.
Earn his respect and love by communicating your feelings effectively without judgment.