How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend Loves You? (Even If He Doesn’t Say It)

Romance movies often make it seem like you’ll only know your boyfriend loves you if he makes a grand gesture, like standing under your window with a cassette player or singing a love song in the stands in front of the entire football team…

But the question you don’t want to shut up is: How do you know if your boyfriend loves you?

The truth is, the signs that your boyfriend loves you should be a lot more subtle (and, you know, realistic).

That’s why it’s not always easy to tell if your boyfriend loves you, especially when he doesn’t just mean it. And, by the way, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it – he might just be moving at his own pace.

Until then, enjoy every step of your relationship and get excited about the things he‘s ready to express, like these seven signs of true love.

1. He talks about your future together.

“When two people talk about a future together, it reinforces the desire to be together.” So, if your boyfriend talks about where you’re going to live in the future, or refers to future relationship happenings (living together, having kids…), you can safely bet that love is involved. Future sets are very difficult to maintain without them.

2. He wants you to connect with your family and friends.

Things are going well if your boyfriend brings you along and is regularly interested in what your sisters are doing.

Because? Because this desire to develop a relationship with family and friends is a desire to deepen your connection. As family and friends know your boyfriend’s story, knowing them is knowing you. It’s a risky move on his part, considering you might not like everything you hear, but it just shows his confidence in your love for each other.

3. He keeps his cool during fights.

Fights and arguments can bring out the worst in anyone, but I want you to watch when your boyfriend struggles to keep his cool. This means he thinks your relationship is worth working on, not worth fighting for.

4. He changes the words “I” to “we”.

Pay attention to what your boyfriend says, because if he’s in the habit of saying “we” absentmindedly (despite getting attention from everyone around him for suddenly forgetting that he’s just one person), maybe he’ll blurt out at one time or another. who loves you. 

Using “we” language means he is fully committed to you and considers the two of you a closed package.

5. There are no secrets between you.

“Sharing a lot of personal and confidential information with you is a good sign.” (You’ll know he’s upside down when he says the phone password.)

6. Watch for his body language.

He may have been saying you’ve been “the woman” for a while, but not in the language you’d expect. 

Next time you are together, watch his body for clues. If he gets close to you when you’re talking and keeps minimal space between your bodies when you’re walking or sitting, he’s comfortable being intimate with you physically and emotionally.

Other non-verbal messages of love? Looking at you for long periods of time and holding your hand when you are in public or sitting across from each other.

7. He notices the little things.

Everyone knows it’s good when your boyfriend compliments you. But “a genuine, heartfelt statement” about how you’re wearing your hair can mean big things, says Orbuch. Or maybe he knows you like to shower with music, so be sure to charge your portable speaker before you come.

These little things are all representations of love because they mean he’s listening and watching you even when you don’t think he is.