What To Do When He’s Not Into You Anymore?

Feeling that the person you are in a relationship with is no longer into you can be difficult to deal with.

And many women are completely lost not knowing what to do when he shows he’s not into it anymore.

It was with this in mind that I decided to make a complete manual on how to act if your man shows he doesn’t want anything else.

Here are 7 things you can try if you’re starting to feel like your partner is no longer attracted to you.

1. Focus on your own self-esteem.

Take some time to focus on yourself.

If you’re doubting whether or not your partner is attracted to you, it might be best to focus on how you feel about yourself. 

According to Daniella Bloom, LMFT LA divorce success coach and dating expert, if you think your partner has lost interest in you, thinking about yourself can help with that.

“The basic principle we understand from the Law of Attraction is ‘like attracts like,’” Bloom told INSIDER. 

“Our partners mirror how we feel about ourselves on a regular basis. When you start to look different to yourself, either your partner will stop and like it, or someone who is much better suited to you, instead.”

2. Remind your partner why he was attracted to you from the start.

When you’re faced with this problem, Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola, relationship experts and authors of “How to Keep your Marriage from Sucking”, suggest using actions to remind your partner why you started dating.

“To reignite attraction, lean into attractive actions to remind him why they were attracted to you in the first place,” Behrendt and Ruotola told INSIDER.

“…Create an environment to be alone together, to reconnect by doing something they used to do when they were a new couple, even if it’s just watching a movie, going to bed early, and sleeping until they’re really rested.”

3. Make an effort to understand your partner’s needs.

Remember to keep your own needs in mind as well.

When we feel victimized in relationships, it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude and acknowledge our own actions and behaviors. 

Because of this, Behrendt and Ruotola suggest keeping an open mind when asking yourself what you might have missed when it comes to your partner and the disconnect you feel. 

“The attraction wanes with disconnection, resentment, and even over time, but the flames can be activated or extinguished depending on your actions and attitudes,” they told INSIDER. 

4. Communicate what you are feeling.

Your partner may not even realize they’re making you feel this way.

Direct communication can be the quickest way to deal with the disconnect between you and your partner. 

Lisa Concepcion, certified professional love life coach and founder of LoveQuest Coaching, told INSIDER that communicating right away is the best way to get to the root of the problem.  

“Communicate about this immediately and not out of fear and judgment, but out of curiosity, compassion, and understanding,” she said. “There could be something else unrelated going on.”

5. Keep in mind that in some cases, the root of the problem may have nothing to do with you.

Something else could be going on in your life.

By communicating, Concepcion said, you can also find out if there’s something else going on in your partner’s life that they haven’t talked to you about yet. Or, if they do, it might be deeper than you think.

“There could also be something else going on, maybe with her career or health,” she told INSIDER. “I’ve had clients come to me with this issue, and when asked when they felt a lack of attraction, it was related to the death of their spouse’s father, projected onto their wife.”

6. When communicating with your partner, stay calm and avoid confrontational actions.

During times when we’ve been hurt, it’s easy to express how you feel by screaming, crying, or focusing on anger. But, there are ways to talk to someone without feeling the need to be aggressive.

“Be honest and direct with kindness,” Concepcion told INSIDER. “Saying something like, ‘Are you okay? Because I feel like we’re a little disconnected physically,’ it’s a way of showing love and concern while acknowledging that something is wrong.”

7. Remind him that talking to you will bring him peace and comfort.

Regardless of the severity of the issues in your relationship, your partner should feel comfortable talking to you, especially if the issue has something to do with you.

So, before you talk about how you feel he’s not attracted to you, remind him how easy it must be to talk to each other about the things you’re currently facing.

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