A happy relationship is not a permanent paradise. Every partnership goes through its ups and downs. But as a couple, you don’t need to be ashamed of bad phases and conflicts. However, some relationship problems can become a long-term burden. When is it still worth saving a relationship? When should you consider terminating? We’ll give you some relationship tips on how to get your partnership under control again.
Causes of a relationship crisis
The art of having a happy relationship isn’t about avoiding conflict or problems, it’s about researching the cause. If you want to save a relationship, you must first deal with the reasons for the crisis. They can vary from pair to pair. However, there are some aspects that are often important:
1. Very high expectations
Especially in the early stages of a relationship, the two of you see life through rose-colored glasses. The two just can’t get enough of each other and, in the intoxication of hormones, feelings like love and affection predominate. Many couples expect this condition to last forever. It feels even more like a rude awakening when the partner’s “downsides” become visible. Expectations that are too high can later lead to greater disappointment.
2. Everyday life as a love killer
At the latest, when everyday life comes into play – whether due to work stress, a busy schedule, financial problems, or routine structures – a relationship undergoes its first stress test. Everyday life also ensures that the partnership can lose its vitality and fall asleep. If it is not possible to transfer the relationship to everyday life, frustration often arises, but also indifference.
3. Changes in living conditions
External changes can also cause a relationship crisis. Even when trying to contract, the first challenges can arise. A professional reorientation can suddenly lead to a long-distance relationship. Family backgrounds, such as the birth of a child together or responsibility for a family member or parents in need of care, can massively restructure the lived union.
Stress, pressure, disappointment, disillusionment, and excessive demands can lead to relationship imbalance. The following seven signs are particularly symptomatic of a relationship crisis:
- Constant bickering: Often it’s just little things, but sometimes it’s a recurring topic. Conversations escalate very quickly because there seem to be no solutions or compromises.
- Lack of communication: Many partners often suppress their own wants and needs. When couples don’t really talk to each other, misunderstandings or misinterpretations can easily arise. Result: Your feelings are hurt and you don’t feel understood.
- Growing disinterest: Everyday life can be one of the main reasons couples break up. Small caresses or gestures of attention lessen and ensure that interest in the other person fades.
- Lack of respect: Mutual respect often disappears, especially with emotional injuries. If there are no excuses or insights, both partners move into a downward spiral where devaluations, lack of appreciation, and guilt can rapidly escalate.
- Power games: A relationship crisis is underway when power struggles are the order of the day. Everyone wants to be right. Envy and resentment can also upset the harmonious balance of a relationship. Partners suddenly become competitors.
Saving the relationship – With these 7 tips back to a harmonious union
Crises can also be used repeatedly as an opportunity for further development. The basic question here is: do you still love your partner? In that case, it is definitely worth investing in to save the relationship. You can avoid a breakup with the following seven tips.
1. Conduct root cause research and recognize patterns
Investigate the question: what is really hidden behind our relationship crisis? When you become aware of the reasons and causes, it can help you to take the next step toward each other again. In doing so, become clear about your established behavior. Ask yourself if the argument is really worth it. If a conversation threatens to escalate again, code words agreed upon in advance help to put on the handbrake.
2. Communicate openly and honestly with each other
Talking is essential in a partnership. Only if you talk openly and honestly about what’s bothering you will the other person have a chance to react to it. It is important that you share your thoughts and feelings. Try to stay to yourself in your messages as much as possible so you don’t end up in the hamster wheel of blame and blame. Also, ask how your partner is doing and what he thinks and feels.
If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you can also understand the other side a little more. That way, you can work on common solutions faster to save your relationship.
3. Maintain a respectful approach
Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their quirks. Accepting your own weaknesses is a good prerequisite for understanding your partner. In this regard, it is also important to accept if you do not agree with each other. Mutual respect is an important foundation that can bring back trust in a relationship.
4. Allow tenderness and attention
A partnership also consumes extreme tenderness and touch. Many partners are more likely to use nonverbal cues to express their love. Occasional hugs or kisses help to regain trust. Holding hands during a walk also strengthens the bond. Thoughtful gestures (like domestic support) or small gifts (like flowers or favorite chocolate) can also strengthen your relationship in the fight against the daily grind.
5. Make concessions
Is it about being right or do you want your peace? It’s really necessary to give in if you want to save your relationship. Which of your weaknesses does he forgive you, which of your weaknesses do you forgive him? Where is there perhaps a balance for your relationship to come back into balance? Find the middle ground!
6. Allow yourself time out and freedom
If you’re completely lost in a situation, the timeout can also help you gain distance. Sometimes a spatial separation for a few days helps. In the event of a major crisis, it is also advisable to take a break from the relationship to gain more clarity about the partnership. But it also helps give you and your partner more freedom. You don’t have to do everything together. This way, you avoid co-dependencies and don’t feel too pressured.
7. Create common rituals
Couples in particular who have grown too far apart can find each other again through common rituals. Regular outings, the romantic evening, the weekly movie night, or a recurring leisure activity reactivates your union.
When it’s too late to save a relationship
Saving a relationship is always a collaborative effort. Even if an affair starts the crisis, it’s not just up to the cheater to fix the relationship. Even the betrayed must be ready to forgive and give the other a chance to rebuild the trust that was lost. If this disposition is lacking, separation is inevitable.
But: Often, couples only realize after the relationship ends that they still have feelings for their ex. For a fresh start after separation, it is important that both partners show a willingness to work on resuming the relationship and regaining trust.
Conclusion: the relationship is worth saving, but not at any cost
A relationship always means working on both sides. The above tips can help them find each other again. It was worth the effort! Relationships often emerge stronger from crises that have been faced together and have the resilience to difficult times. If you love each other but don’t deal with it on your own, seek outside help. There are professional contact and counseling centers that are at your side to advise and take action, depending on the situation.
However, if you also notice that irreconcilable differences prevail in your relationship or that there is a definite loss of trust, it is not advisable to fight at all costs and separation is advisable. After all, love cannot be forced.