Suddenly there it is, the yearning or even the new love after the breakup. But how do you deal with it when you’re still in the midst of emotional chaos and can’t seem to let go of your ex-partner’s thoughts? One thing is for sure: getting over the pain of separation takes time. How you deal with it is entirely up to you.
It feels like you are facing the ruins of your life. You really had plans for the future, and your path in life seemed clear. The stark contrast followed the breakup, suddenly you not only had to deal with the pain but also the newfound freedom of how your life should go on. But when is the time to get involved in a new love after the breakup?
New love after separation: this is the best way to deal with it
Unfortunately, there is no magic formula for a fresh start when it comes to love. But that’s not all bad. On the one hand, you lack real perspective, on the other hand, you can simply get carried away and react flexibly. Because often a new love unexpectedly arises after separation. So, of course, no one wants to stick to the times set in stone. However, there are a few things you should keep in mind:
- Process the breakup: Rushing into a new love immediately after the breakup may not be the best idea. Because there is still great pain in you that you should have dealt with beforehand. It’s not the best date just to not be alone, to get revenge, or to shorten the period of mourning, in addition, you tend to suppress your own feelings, which, in the worst case, prolongs the pain of separation.
- Learning from the previous relationship: There were certain reasons why it didn’t work out with the two of you in the end. You must sort and rank them before starting your next adventure. After all, you don’t want to repeat the mistakes. With a transition partner, however, the focus shifts and again there is no room to deal with your past.
- Learning to Love Yourself: Often, we simply seek confirmation in relationships and ask our partners to boost our fragile self-esteem. This rarely works well in the long run – only those who love each other and are at peace with themselves can also give and allow love, which leads to a healthy balance in the relationship. Don’t make your happiness dependent on others. So, enjoy being single before committing again. So your new partner isn’t in the strongest position either, but you find yourself at eye level.
Everything new: overcoming separation
Despite all the good plans, it may be that a new love appears quickly after the breakup. Especially when you’re in the clouds, rational actions are pushed aside – also because you might be afraid of missing an opportunity. This is perfectly legitimate. But what do you do if the old relationship hasn’t been processed yet?
There’s some evidence that you’re not done having feelings for your ex. If you think about him a lot, keep wanting the relationship back, and sometimes just want to hide, there are some signs that you’re not ready for a new relationship just yet. Even if you constantly compare your new flirtation with your ex’s and mentally relive the past, it’s not a good sign.
So, only one thing really helps communication. If your flirt really cares about you, then he or she won’t immediately come back when you explain yourself. Be open and honest and say what moves you, open your heart carefully. A sensible future partner will understand that there is an unfortunately disordered chapter in your life that needs to be resolved.
New love after separation is not a taboo
But if you’re sure you don’t just need a shoulder to cry on, then all these tips might seem far from reality to you. Although many therapists are not convinced of a new relationship very quickly, results from studies in the US show that new love after a breakup can also have good sides. Especially if you’re not at the beginning of the grieving process.
In fact, those who settled quickly were generally happier in the new relationship and had higher self-esteem. They also found it easier to end old relationships – after all, love routines are often lacking when suddenly alone. In the meantime, it’s hard to determine if a relationship really works better under these stars.
Conclusion: a new love after separation is in your hands
In the end, it remains a very individual decision on how quickly you should get involved in a new love after a breakup. Only you can know when and if an old relationship broke up. Especially when new feelings take you by surprise, it’s hard to take your situation soberly.
So it doesn’t hurt to take a step back and discuss the situation with friends. You shouldn’t get involved in a new connection too quickly, after all, you could be pushing old problems into a new chapter of life.
So you don’t necessarily have to find new love after the breakup and immediately get involved with the first person – but if a chance comes along and you feel ready and the need for your ex fades, there’s little reason against even trying. But that doesn’t mean your ex can’t mean anything to you before you start the next chapter of your life. Your hunch will guide you.