How to start a relationship after a breakup

A new relationship beckons after the breakup. But are you really ready for a new partner? As our research shows, lack of appreciation and the feeling of being unloved are still one of the top reasons for separation among eleven percent of men and nearly one-fifth of women. 

The end of love repeatedly puts both genders in an emotional state of emergency. Therefore, new singles rush straight into a new relationship after the breakup to compensate for their need for appreciation and love.

However, switching from one relationship to another can also bring some dangers. We would like to let you know how you can know if you are ready for a new relationship and when it is advisable to re-commit.

Why should you linger after a love that failed?

It is not advisable to rush into the next bond if your lack of love has not yet been overcome. Especially with men, it happens quickly that they rush into a new relationship after the breakup. However, this is usually not permanent. We would like to show you some reasons why you should spend your time before getting involved in a new love:

Order the emotional chaos

The fear of loneliness is one of the main reasons for women, and especially men, to seek separation in a new relationship. The following partnership distracts from the frustration, sadness, and pain of separation. But you shouldn’t make it so easy for yourself! Don’t try to counteract the need for comfort with a new partnership. 

First, get clear about your feelings and learn to deal with life as if you were single, before risking a useless fresh start. A new relationship is supposed to restore the self-esteem that has been severely attacked in many men after the breakup. This wants to be perfected as a single, but it also takes time.

Learn from the old relationship

Dealing with the loss and processing feelings is as important a part as realizing the reasons for the breakup. Looking back, what do you take from the past, what did you learn and what mistakes do you definitely not want to repeat in the future? Only after clearing up and learning from your mistakes will you be able to open up to a new partner after your breakup.

letting go is important

It is important to say goodbye to the common dreams of life after a breakup and forget about your ex-boyfriend. If it doesn’t, it often blocks the partner’s view when starting over. There is also a risk that you will transfer old patterns and structures into the new relationship after the breakup. This can promote stress in the relationship after the restart and lead love to premature failure very quickly. First, learn how to get rid of your ex before getting involved with a new person.

Are you ready for a new relationship after the breakup if…

Based on the points mentioned above, we’d like to show you three specific tips on when you’ll be ready for a new partner after your breakup. It’s amazing that the signs are noticeable in different ways in men and women.

1. You don’t give in to the past

You realize that the past no longer affects you. A new relationship after a breakup is only an option for men when they break up with their old love and no longer care about their ex-partner falling in love with someone else.

With women, it is increasingly a sign when they no longer make comparisons with their ex-partners on new dates. Only when the past really comes to an end will you be ready for a new relationship.

2. You feel free and independent

You have finally arrived in the here and now. If you have a feeling of freedom and independence, nothing prevents a new relationship after the breakup. This condition becomes noticeable in men when they pursue their own interests again and enjoy their typical “masculine hobbies” (such as riding a motorcycle or attending rock concerts).

For women, the main focus is emotional freedom. When you discover that you can talk about the past without reacting emotionally, you will be ready for a new love.

The most important sign of the feeling of freedom and independence in both genders : you are enjoying your single life to the fullest.

3. You have new plans for the future

Another indication that the person is open to a new partner after separation is perceived by both men and women when they already see new challenges and goals in the future. Only when your life is no longer dominated by old dreams and you are curious and open to new activities and adventures will your dream partner also have the opportunity to enter your life.

Rules for a new relationship after the breakup

Even though you could have done without some experience, you still learned something from your last partnership. So that you don’t fall into the same old traps right away, we recommend that you re-examine the mistakes of the failed partnership before falling in love again immediately after the breakup. You can optimize certain behaviors to make the next relationship happy. It is also crucial if you were dropped or if you qualified as the final yourself. You must observe the following five rules, depending on your starting point.

you were abandoned

  • Completely break off contact with your ex-partner
  • In a new relationship after a breakup, be open about your feelings
  • Strengthen your self-esteem by fully focusing on your own strengths and interests
  • Make space for yourself
  • Find common goals with your new friend

You broke up

  • Does a new partner only meet prey after a love scheme or also your needs?
  • Keep communication open from the start when restarting after separation
  • Reflect on what personal traits are important to you in a new partner
  • Once you start over, avoid falling into old patterns and structures
  • Look openly and curiously at the future

The exceptional case: New relationship – together again after separation

Of course, there is also the option of giving your partner a second chance. Here, too, you should keep a few points in mind so that you are ready for a fresh start in the relationship:

  • Accept separation as the first step toward a new beginning
  • Make sure you communicate openly: talking to each other help
  • Learn to forgive and deal with legacy issues
  • Find a balance between proximity and distance
  • Be patient and optimistic

Conclusion: Awareness, patience, and optimism help you find a partner again

Don’t rush into a new relationship head over heels after a breakup just to fill in the gaps that are left over. Clean up the contaminated places and dare to start over.