The end of the relationship and the separation from the partner are always extremely painful. When love no longer has a chance, many men wonder, “How can I forget my ex-girlfriend?”
And: “Should I fight for them or let them go?”
I can understand if the heartache hurts like hell right now. In this article, I will therefore help you – from man to man! I’ll explain how to leave someone you love and give you helpful tips for overcoming negative feelings.
My harrowing question: “How can I finally forget about her?”
It’s been a few years since I thought I’d found my wife for the rest of my life. I met her on a beach vacation in the main market square and it was something like love at first sight (I had never believed that before).
I was madly in love, had a steady relationship with her, and we visited regularly. Sometimes she, my “girlfriend”, would come to me, and sometimes I would drive to her. But at some point, there was a sudden separation with a break in contact on her part, which took me by surprise.
I don’t know why it ended, but at some point I realized:
This girl wanted nothing more from me. Fighting for her made no sense anymore. I had to leave the story behind and get over it.
Still, I couldn’t understand, “How can you let go and forget someone you love?” That was my big question. It simply contradicts my feelings: feeling this burning love and still having to stay away from this woman – now an ex-girlfriend.
But over time, I learned to let go of this loved one – despite the longing. And that’s why I’d like to share my tips with you today.
Forget the ex-girlfriend or fight over her?
Of course, the failure of a relationship and subsequent separation is always a painful feeling. It is completely normal that you have to think longingly about your ex-partner and try to fight for love. You are just a man…
Definitely worth trying to win them back. Because it could very well be that there is still a little fire glowing in it that needs to be rekindled. After all, it’s no wonder that “old love doesn’t rust”.
In other articles on this blog, I will tell you how to get your ex-girlfriend back by making her a little jealous.
But beware: everything in life has limits. If she really broke up once and for all, all the tips to win back fail and she doesn’t want anything else from you, you should accept the breakup and let go.
After all, you don’t want to become a stalker…
Why You Should Finally Forget About Your Ex-Partner
There are many good reasons for us men to forget about our ex and get over the breakup – even if you still love this woman idolatrously and have to think about her every day. Because unhappy love for her can be a very good obstacle in everyday life:
- You have to think about her all the time… at work, at home, wherever you are. You think about the trips and the hours on the couch with her in front of the TV.
- This longing for love and the desire for her will consume you emotionally in the long run. Health is impaired, you feel powerless, and your performance can also decline at work. Being unhappy in love simply costs a lot of energy in the long run.
- The connection with his ex (and I hope she returns after all) prevents him from looking for a new wife. So you miss out on a lot of chances for a new relationship… or even great love.
- Even if you have a date with a new lady, you will automatically compare her to her ex-partner. Needless to say, the “new” doesn’t compare to the former…
- You are still emotionally dependent on your ex if you don’t let her go. Your behavior, your weird games – it all hurts you deeply. Just seeing her or hearing about her friends already causes a terrible stab to his heart…
- Even if your ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend, you will become depressed again and possibly be furiously jealous. A feeling that you should spare yourself.
Also, keep in mind: the faster you can let go, the faster the pain of separation will go away. Those who cling to love, on the other hand, prolong the mental agony unnecessarily.
Therefore, it is time to come to terms with the separation so that soon you will no longer be unhappy in love.
How can you forget about your ex-girlfriend? 8 tips for men
It’s a tough question: how do you let go and forget about someone you love? When we like someone very much, we are drawn to them over and over again as if we were magnetic. But with these tips, you can overcome the pain of separation and get a healthy distance from it.
1. For now, no contact with the ex-girlfriend
The more we hear and see a loved one, the harder it is to forget them. Therefore, I urgently advise you to keep your distance from her and avoid any form of contact.
I know how painful the situation is for you and that an inner voice screams, “I can’t do this! I can’t let her go! “
But believe me: the constant exchange with her, the phone calls, the Facebook and WhatsApp messages – all this hurts a lot more than a total break in contact. It is a sweet but dangerous poison that penetrates your soul.
Also, don’t accept poisoned offers based on the motto “Let’s remain good friends”.
It’s still too early for all of that. So for you: no meetings or personal calls, no WhatsApp or Facebook chats. Perhaps you have children and contact cannot be completely avoided. So at least keep it to a minimum!
If you’ve gotten over your headache at some point and are “immune,” you may be able to report it and cultivate a “good friendship” without hurting too much.
2. Banish their memories
Breaking contact and letting go of homesickness also includes keeping their memories in boxes and locking them away. So that they disappear from your field of vision in everyday life. The photo on the nightstand, the beer kit she gave you for your birthday, and other little things – get rid of them!
You should banish any special items from your apartment that remind you of your relationship with her. Because our men’s brains go crazy when we’re sadly in love. As soon as you see these souvenirs, a chain of associations is triggered in your head and your thoughts land where…?
… exactly, namely where they shouldn’t be: with your ex-girlfriend, who you want to forget about!
3. No more “sniffing”
Curiosity can be so bad sometimes. With it, we cut our own flesh! What I mean by that: is we men are born detectives in such a situation and we tend to “spy” on our ex-girlfriends. A mean word, I know.
I don’t necessarily mean that you stand behind the bush with binoculars and a floppy hat and watch your driveway (just don’t!).
Just meet a mutual friend at a party and casually ask, “Tell me, what is Inga doing?”
Or you can browse her Facebook page and see what kind of photos she’s been posting.
Despite curiosity (understandable): If you want to forget about your ex-girlfriend, you must urgently refrain from such actions! Because it’s very painful. Especially when you suddenly find out about her new boyfriend like that, you’re going to be hit hard.
4. Reactivate the old circle of friends
Those who are up to their necks in a relationship (with all these obligations) often neglect their friends. How many times have I seen good friends suddenly go underground for months because they only do something with their girlfriends in their spare time?
So now is the ideal opportunity to do something with your boys again. Hang out with old friends, have a drink with them at the bar, talk about their cars, make music, or do other hobbies you enjoy. Let the pig-out, as the saying goes…
That way, you can quickly have other thoughts and forget for a moment the pain in your ex-partner’s heart. By the way, here you can see how male friendships can be beneficial – use this positive “testosterone energy”!
5. Distractions from Hobbies and Travel
In general, leisure activities can be a nice change of pace that will help you get rid of this woman. You don’t have to do everything with your previous friends, you can also pursue new hobbies on your own. There you meet new people (and maybe women too).
Another useful tip for distracting someone who is in love is to travel. This change of scenery away from home ensures that you forget about the situation with your ex and literally see things from a different perspective.
It doesn’t have to be a big luxury cruise. A weekend in the mountains or by the sea in your country is enough to leave behind the pain of separation and overcome the feeling of homesickness.
6. Find a new mission in life
Many men want their ex-girlfriend back because she is the only thing they have in their lives. Yes, that’s sad, but it’s true if we’re honest. The relationship with the ex used to be the last straw that these people held onto. A grip you definitely don’t want to let go of.
So now it’s for you: Gain independence! Don’t make women the center of your life, even if you love them. Find a job, a mission that makes you happy.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to write a book or learn a musical instrument. Or do you get involved in society? Do it! You’ll see: if this job really fulfills you, the girls fall behind and you can quickly forget about your ex-partner.
7. Take off your rose-colored glasses
Often, we men just can’t forget our wives, because even weeks after separation we still worship them like angels and put them on a three-foot-tall pedestal. The Vatican couldn’t have done better… But joking aside.
If you really want to break up with your ex-girlfriend, you should never idealize your past together. Instead, you should remember that not everything was so good in your relationship – after all, you wouldn’t be apart right now.
Of course, right?
So the proverbial “dead inside” must have been somewhere. So, throw away her pink glasses and try to look at this woman with a clean, sober look. You obviously don’t get along as human beings – and maybe she was mean to you?
Once you internalize the thought, the headache will soon be a thing of the past.
8. Meet new women after separation
But my best tip for letting go is at the end of this article (yes, as you know, the best always comes at the end):
Nothing helps us against loving us men more than… dating new women! If you really give a new partner a chance at a relationship WITHOUT constantly comparing them to your ex, it can turn into a happy love that quickly makes you forget about the old pain.
You’ll also see that your ex-girlfriend isn’t that unreachable goddess you made her, but that there are plenty of other amazing women out there.
So try to outdo yourself! Look around and extend your antennae a little. Go to the party more often, visit sports clubs/groups, etc. And if you like, sign up for a single exchange/dating app! This lifestyle can heal wounds faster than you think.