What really is masculinity

It’s an open secret: desirable women as “real men”. But what does that really mean today – “being a man”? In this article, I will tell you what distinguishes a real man and how you can strengthen your individual masculinity. The goal is an authentic life with a big personality, without any cheap macho clichés. Let’s act and solve this!

Always those clichés: What masculinity DOES NOT mean!

“When is man a man?” These familiar lines used to go up and down on my parents’ radio. At that time I was still a boy and of course, I didn’t understand what the singer was trying to tell us with his music. It wasn’t until years later that I realized the significance: he ironically took aim at all the clichés about being a man – from building rockets to heart attacks, a typical male disease.

First, I want you to free yourself from such prejudices so that you can develop and strengthen your true masculinity. Being a man doesn’t mean drinking beer and sitting in front of the television and watching football. It also doesn’t mean working in the office or on the construction site and playing the girlfriend/wife’s “provider”. Today women want to be independent and take care of themselves financially – an evolution that has pushed many men into crisis in recent decades because they feel they are “no longer needed”.

The old role of hunter and gatherer has been fulfilled by us men. But it also means that men have had to redefine themselves for several years and develop new forms of masculine identity. It’s not that easy, I know. But that’s why you read my blog article so I can help you…

The big problem: the lack of models for masculinity itself

Many men look for their own masculine identity because they feel they are not attractive enough for women. A real man – that’s what girls want, of course! But what exactly characterizes masculinity is almost entirely hidden. The problem: There are simply no role models because most of the time we don’t learn from our parents how to behave like a man.

And 90 percent of the time in kindergarten and later in school, we were just male and female teachers. We were allowed to paint pictures with little flowers (it was like that for me in the first grade of elementary school) and to make window frames. But exercises to strengthen your manhood, like fighting and playing knight? That was less of the curriculum.

Later in life, we meet super-cool, testosterone-charged guys like James Bond and other movie-action heroes. But let’s be honest: this kind of heroism is so cliché and over the top that it doesn’t help us an inch. Copying their behavior would make us a completely inauthentic man who doesn’t look masculine but are just plain ridiculous, believe me!

11 useful tips to strengthen your manhood

Therefore, we boys have to break with the clichés and define a new masculinity that we can strengthen. But first, you have to understand what “being a man” really means. I will tell you the following tips. You’ll also get helpful boosts on what you can do right away to become more manly and develop a magical attraction to women.

1. Overcome fears and recharge your batteries

Many men I know are very shy. Above all, being masculine means living life with confidence. But how can you overcome your shyness and recharge your batteries? It’s simple: step out of your comfort zone regularly! Do something every day that you normally avoid out of fear and insecurity. For example, strike up a conversation with a handsome cashier at the supermarket or give a lecture at the university.

Another great tip is bungee jumping or skydiving. Those intense minutes are the adrenaline rush that literally helps you become more manly with a jump.

2. Set goals and fight for a mission

Do you really have fixed goals in the life you are chasing? Or are you playing at living? All successful men have a dream… and they will do whatever it takes to make it come true. This can be a successful course of study but also learning a musical instrument or your own farmhouse. So set your goals and do something every day to achieve them.

Tip: Break the big goal into clearly defined monthly and weekly intermediate stages. A piece that is too large can have an extremely demotivating effect and should be broken down into smaller pieces. Then check every week to see if you’ve reached your intermediate goal. It’s all worth it because a man who fights for his mission is extremely attractive to women!

3. Experience adventures instead of just being online 

Real men go out into the world and have adventures: traveling, riding motorcycles, visiting trade fairs, and other hobbies. When they come back, they have something exciting to report. But that also means: Getting off Facebook for a few days. Let the constant comment, like, posts, replies, and messages. Women often think you’re a bore who has nothing better to do than sit in front of the computer.

4. Exercise and enjoy the testosterone boost

As I read, exercise is said to increase testosterone levels. Testosterone is the quintessential male hormone…so real fuel for your male self and your male body! So look for a sport that you enjoy. With the wide range of options, there is something for everyone, whether ball sports or endurance sports. Strength training at the gym can’t hurt either. We don’t mean to be superficial, but a muscular body looks more masculine than chicken breasts and spaghetti arms.

Another positive effect: in sports that involve competition with opponents (whether tennis, football, or martial arts), you learn to assert yourself against competitors and achieve your goals – a quality that is also very masculine.

5. Develop leadership skills at work and with friends

Why are managers and politicians so successful with women? Because of the money? No! These men lead a pack and this is extremely attractive to the opposite gender. If you want to strengthen your masculinity, you must get out of the wait-and-see attitude and take on more leadership/responsibility. For example, bring ideas for new projects at work (which you then lead) and suggest what you do on the weekend to friends.

You must also act purposefully and decisively towards women, rather than waiting for their initiative. Women love it when they can get carried away and let the man take the lead. So say, “Hey, I have tickets to that show, where we’ve always wanted to go” and take the tickets with a smile instead of asking helplessly, “Honey, what are we doing tonight?”

6. Grow your beard and wear cool t-shirts

It’s always a good tip to grow a beard – you don’t even have to do anything and your face will look more masculine after a few days. Clothes can also be optimized in the direction of more masculinity. Not all, but some girls are magically attracted to it!

7. Learn to say “no” loud and clear!

A real man has no problem speaking his opinion loud and clear – even if it’s offensive and goes against nature. He’s confident enough and doesn’t need to hide behind the crowd. This also includes answering with a clear “no” if you don’t want something. You don’t have to fulfill all other people’s wishes (especially women) just to be “Everybody’s Sweetheart”!

By the way, you should not do favors for your loved one all the time in hopes that she will fall in love with you. Don’t fix your bike or renovate your apartment just to convince them of you. This exaggerated willingness to help doesn’t seem masculine (even when it comes to crafts), but rather submissive. That sure doesn’t help love!

8. Wake up the stone age man in you and let him out

In childhood, we boys learn not to fight with our companions. I very well remember panicked teachers who dragged me away from other warriors… and the whole thing was just a game! This game would have been urgently needed to strengthen masculinity itself. Because being a man not only includes sensitivity, restraint, and empathy, but also a raw and aggressive side (in a positive sense!).

The good news: today you can let out that “animal in you” in a targeted way to get in touch with your masculine strength and consciously feel and appreciate it! Listen to heavy heavy metal music, ride the kart track and get yourself a punching bag you can really punch. Martial arts also provide valuable boosts… You’ll notice how good it feels to let your masculine energy flow freely!

9. Draw red lines and demand respect

I’ve seen a lot of men who put up with everything from the boss at work or their (ex) girlfriends, like pious lambs. So my request: do not allow other people to treat you disrespectfully! If your supervisor keeps pissing you off at work or a woman treats you badly, don’t miss a second chance: turn your back on these people, because you deserve better.

10. Cultivate true male friendships

As has already been said: In our childhood, fathers were often absent and in our later development, there was often a lack of contact with male role models. There are many specifically masculine values ​​that women cannot convey to us and also topics that we find difficult to discuss with representatives of the female gender. Unfortunately, we often find ignorance and misunderstanding here with our masculine concerns.

For example, I still remember the moment my “best friend” made fun of my (admittedly unfounded) fear of hair loss…

So start cultivating intense male friendships! Here, you can not only indulge in masculine hobbies such as football, barbecue, and paintball but also discuss typical men’s problems and fears. I’m mainly thinking about topics like love, relationships, and flirting with women.

11. Post negative images of masculinity

Especially in times of excessive feminism, we men are often convinced that male behavior is generally bad and perverse. It is female behavior and values ​​that dominate our society. There is less and less room for male needs. But don’t be persuaded that being a man is a bad thing that needs to be repressed! So you are just blocking your own masculine energies.

Why is that so important? I’ll tell you: all the boosts I’ve given you in this article can only develop their effect if you support your masculinity fundamentally. This means: you can only strengthen the masculine side in you if you accept the aforementioned things like competition, determination, leadership, aggression, and assertiveness as a positive part of yourself rather than denying it.

So nothing stands in the way of the real man in you. And now: take the first step towards manhood and try the tips in in real life! So it could be your successful year.