The pain in the heart devours you from the inside. You crave this woman day and night, even though you don’t stand a chance with her. “How can you fall in love?” It is therefore the decisive question that will not let you go.
In this article, I would like to help you with a 7-step guide to forgetting about your girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. So you will soon be able to find your way back to a new quality of life and look positively forward!
How do I stop loving? The dying question!
You’ve received a heavy rejection and are now sadly in love, perhaps with a good friend or co-worker. Or you broke up with your girlfriend and you are still mourning her.
Either way: you know for sure that you can never be together as a couple. Instead of a relationship, there is at most a friendship with the woman of your dreams – if any.
That’s why you feverishly ask yourself: What’s the quickest way to get over someone, maybe even without breaking contact?
Because it torments you to always have to think about this woman, to have contact on WhatsApp, and to bump into her all the time. Especially when you see her with other men, nostalgia and jealousy will put a thousand pins in her heart.
Since this love pain is not healthy, now I’m going to help you and give you some psychological tips on how you can turn off your feelings and forget about the woman.
Can you fall in love?
Of course we humans are not robots. There is no on/off switch where you can turn off feelings of love like on a computer. We know from psychology that our emotional system is difficult to control.
However, I am convinced that we are not at the mercy of our feelings. So yes, you can fall in love – either after a relationship or when you first met, if you’ve unfortunately fallen in love with a new acquaintance! It doesn’t happen overnight, and not with a miracle pill like aspirin for headaches.
But you can change some of your thinking and behavior to get over the longing for love more quickly and find your way back to a happy everyday life – perhaps with a new partner by your side.
Falling out of love despite contact with the woman?
I often see men in love who desire something impossible. It looks like this:
“I want to stop loving to beat the headache and get my feelings under control again. In fact, I also know I should keep my distance from her for that. But I’m always attracted to her and I don’t want to lose her completely because she’s such a wonderful person…”
But letting go of love without breaking contact is always difficult. Because every time you see them, hear them, or read their WhatsApp messages, your feelings explode again. It’s like oil you put on fire.
So first put the contact on hold and keep your distance, don’t have any relationship with her! It doesn’t have to be forever, because maybe you can stay friends later (more on that below!)
Falling in love with your coworker and good friend?
But perhaps it cannot be avoided that you meet regularly. For example, if you are a co-worker or have a group of friends that you meet more often.
Of course, this is a difficult situation with homesickness, but here, too, you should limit contact as much as possible so as not to expose yourself to toxic and bittersweet proximity unnecessarily.
I’ll also give you some tips in a moment, man to man.
Falling in love is also possible without breaking contact
The consolation for you is: below, I also have some tips for you on how you can fall in love despite contact. But like I said, try to get as far away from the pain of love as possible so that you can get over those feelings faster.
How to stop being in love: the 7 best psychology tips
You’re probably wondering, “ Okay, but how can I stop loving? How exactly does it work with emotion clipping? ” So here are my instructions with 7 tips:
1. Keep your distance from this woman
In Hollywood movies, we often see single men in love chasing their wives with big bouquets of flowers – and in the end, they still magically win them over. Forget it, this is not reality! If you keep waiting, you will become more and more unhappy and the feeling of lack of love will break you.
The quickest way to fall in love as a man is to first keep your distance and not see or hear anything from her. That means no more WhatsApp or Facebook messages, no more calls, and certainly no more dating!
So that you don’t completely offend her, write the last message, for now, something like:
“Hey, I need some time to myself right now, so I’m going to retire. But do not worry. I’ll be in touch when I’m better. “
Even if you want to forget about your ex-girlfriend after the breakup, you must first initiate a contact block.
2. How to stop loving when you see each other every day?
What if you inevitably see the woman every day, for example at school/university, with friends, or at your place of work?
Then do something with other friends in your spare time, meet new people, or meet in this circle of friends in a smaller group when she’s not there.
At work, you can skip your lunch break with her to fall in love with this coworker. Or, if possible, move to a different department where you have less contact with her. Just tell your boss that you are looking for new tasks and challenges. So much commitment is always good!
By the way, here you will find more tips if you are in love with your coworker.
3. Throw away the pink cups
We men tend to idealize our loved ones simply because we have strong feelings for them. Do you think she was that amazing? A goddess? And when it comes to relationships, will you never meet a woman like her again?
So you’re caught in the middle of the thought trap because you’ve put this girl on a three-foot-tall pedestal. And in your mind, you kneel in love every day in front of this monument and worship it…
You can quickly fall in love by finally taking off your rose-tinted glasses and washing your head (figuratively speaking).
If you are in love, seriously ask yourself:
- Was she really infallible and the perfect partner for a relationship?
- What (little) quirks and weaknesses do he have?
- Why don’t we get along well in a partnership?
- What are the exact characteristics that don’t suit me?
- How did she let me down, pissed me off, or at least pissed me off?
If it’s about your ex-girlfriend, you’ll probably think of some cruel things she’s led you to white fire in their relationship with – not later than the end of their painful breakup.
You should also keep in mind with a good friend or co-worker: she is obviously not the right person for you, for certain reasons that you should make clear to yourself. Otherwise, she would have fallen in love with you too. Then you would have become a couple and now you would have a harmonious relationship. Of course, right?
4. Remove memories from your field of vision
Maybe you still have some of her stuff in the house, the painful sight that reminds you of this woman over and over again. For example, cause negative feelings:
- the joint photos where you are in each other’s arms
- the clothes she left behind on her last visit to her bathroom
- all the good things she gave you for Christmas and your birthday
My advice to you as a man: get rid of these things so you can fall in love quickly! Of course, you shouldn’t have to frantically flush everything down the toilet… Set up one last meeting where you’ll give her back all of her belongings.
All other objects that literally “look” at you and remind you of her should be kept in closets, sold or given away.
Also, avoid looking at your photos, but keep those precious memories in a safe place. So you can bring them up at any time once you’ve gotten over your lack of love.
5. Prepare the apartment
And while you’re at it: maybe it’s the apartment itself that still reminds you of him and your relationship. Does that stop you from falling in love faster?
Then renovate your own four walls and arrange everything the way you personally like it. Maybe you’ve always been horrified by wallpapers because you just put them on the wall because your ex-girlfriend wanted it that way. Then finish him off!
Now you can also arrange the furniture according to your taste in the way that suits you.
If you generally don’t like the apartment anymore, moving is an option. This literal change of scenery can always be good for your feelings and help you start a new chapter in your life!
6. Find the right distraction in everyday life
In order not to have to think about this woman so often, you should distract yourself instead of ruminating in love and indulging in sentimental memories of your friendship or relationship. For some men, it helps to let go of love by focusing more on work. All right, but you must be moderate and not fight to the point of having a heart attack.
It’s even better to redraw your free time, for example:
- Find friends, especially on real men’s nights where you can have other thoughts about some warm jokes
- Travel and tour to get away from the gray everyday life
- Going to the sauna, playing sports, or cooking something tasty to do your soul good
- Listening to music or watching movies about “unhappy love affairs” and relationships because it also helps with processing
Enjoy freedom as a single. Do everything you like, that gives you strength as a man and that distracts you from negative feelings so you can fall in love as soon as possible!
7. The fastest way to fall in love
Finally, a tip on how every man can get over the longing for love as soon as possible: Start flirting and meet new single women until you fall in love again and end a relationship!
Yes, I know this advice sounds trite. I also hated sayings like “Other mothers have beautiful daughters too”. But it’s the truth: the search for new love is a true miracle cure for the quickest way to fall in love.
There are three main reasons for this:
- 1. You are perfectly distracted by flirting with other women in everyday life and forget about your ex-girlfriend’s pain.
- 2. You see that there are other great potential partners who can make you happy and SHE is not the only one for you. You might even realize, laughing, that you totally overrated her because of those famous rose-tinted glasses.
- 3. When you fall in love again, feelings for the other woman automatically disappear. The cocktail of hormones in your body takes care of that.